We're aware that some users are experiencing technical issues which the team are working to resolve. See the Community Noticeboard for more info. Thank you for your patience.
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!

taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

Options
1162163165167168194

Comments

  • Right now 
    things seem too much 
    it’s only money , it’s only life , it’s not the end of the world but when will my plate be empty
    the car is a write off as expected , all for a sheet of glass , ridiculous really and had I known I’d have never have bought a soft top convertible
    insurance have offered me 5500 , I paid 6 3 years ago 
    I can retain the car and get it fixed myself for 3600 in my pocket , I can then only insure the car 3rd party and I need to have it fixed within 30 days
    a replacement roof has a 6-8 week lead time
    probably take the write off cash

    insurers gave me a courtesy car and the first day back in the office I parked up and someone has scrapped it , great.
    nothing on cctv however my fleet manager has come up trumps and taken it our body shop to get it gone before the car is collected 
    not sure if I have to pay but it will be less then the excess on the policy - just don’t want a car right now
    some !!!!!! ruins them for you 

    submitted inheritance tax forms , also got the house valued 
    it basically draws a line that I can’t realistically afford to keep it
    property has risen so much , I’d have nothing left to renovate so a fresh start it is , probably for the best and should be better for me in my pocket 
  • Crikey that is a lot of stuff to deal with. Bloody cars are a pain. I love mine but dread something happening to it. Random !!!!!! heads cause so many problems. 

    I am not sure what I think about the house, sad mostly? I am trying to come to terms with the idea that this house won't ever be mine. It is a hard time Efes. It is probably better to do what is best money wise. And Fresh start is enticing. 

    I hope you have a relaxing drink of something nice, and a good night's sleep XXXXX  
    Nevertheless she persisted.
  • Humdinger1
    Humdinger1 Posts: 2,288 Forumite
    Eighth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    You're going through the pain barrier right now @efes_shareholder but there is a better place on the other side and you're closer than it feels.  There is a lot on your plate so be kind to yourself.   Agree with @Buffythedebtslayer that fresh starts are good. Keep going you're amazing love Humdinger xx 
  • I'll be honest , I've had enough of cars for a while
    I can use NM's , I can't drive after my operation , I think I'll just take the money and wing it for a while.
    More concerned about getting the loan car back to them 

    The rise in property prices has made my choice for me. I was cutting it close when the house was valued in feb , mondays valuation was 40k higher which is an additional 20k for me to find to give to my sister out of a remaining 35k I had left in my buying capacity when it was last valued.
    Its just not feasible
    I can afford to buy a nice 2/3 bed house in the town I work in and will have enough to get it how I'd like inside so I think really , and realistically this is the way to go.

    We are still clearing the house and I won't list it until the probate is through as the market seems to be continually rising

  • So as expected the repair shop are now calling for their car back and it’s currently in the body shop place getting the scrape sorted
    ive avoided the call today but I can’t forever and I have no idea what to say to them to get a few extra days 
    think I’m going to play the sympathy card , hope for the best and hope they don’t look at the tracker and find it in a garage 
    I wish I’d just sucked up the excess and come clean 
    everything’s going wrong right now
    please Lady Luck smile on me soon 
  • Ok so the courtesy car is fixed and my fleet manager has kindly put it through the company , there’s a slight imperfection on the wing mirror but nothing too mention

    I’ve reached a settlement with the insurance company but need a new V5 as I’ve obviously packed it up and now can’t find it so 25 to send for a new one 
    got to arrange to get my personal items from the car , another ball ache but hey Ho 
    mill be glad when the courtesy car is gone !!! 
    Will obviously then be car less and Nm had a motorway accident a few days ago so his is also off road 
    really no luck at all

    did get a 75 Orem bond win and a slightly cheaper haircut !! 
  • well the cars fixed , typically im not still waiting for the hire company to collect it but i didnt have to pay the bill so im hoping they just wont make too much of a deal about the small scratches on the casing of the drivers wing mirror
    we drove it down to bournemouth this weekend to make it look like its been on the road and try and drity it up a bit.

    as mentioned had a night in bournemouth , it was lovely and did us good but some alcohol spends so will have keep tabs on that as the summer approaches and the social calender increases

    NM suggested me buying his car , he is concerned about his employment as his fixed term contract comes to a close in ded but if im honest its not something I would probably chose , its his dream car not mine although it is very nice.
    Am going to counter offer that I hold off buying anything at the moment , and cover his insurance and road tax and carry on using it whilst the house situation is being sorted out , I dont want to buy a car really in a hurry and without knowing what budget i have and the house must be a priority. If he decides later that he can still do without it then maybe we can part ex it against my purchase and I'll reimburse him what they give.

    on the subject of houses , the ,IHT and probate forms are in , now we just wait. I also viewed a property on saturday , more to get a steer on what kind of thing my budget buys
    this was also a probate sale and had a garage , driveway and lovely unoverlooked garden but its an average area and one i wasnt sure off , its a cut through road and as much as the house had masses of potential I dont think its worth me trying to wangle a buy to let mortgage etc to go for it if its just a house with potential and not somewhere I can see myself living. I've another viewing in a neighbouring town on saturday , the least it does is builds relationships with local agents.

    food shop tonight , didnt really have to get much last week so I'm anticipating a bigger one tonight but I'm also working from home this week so will eat more here.
    Had my first week in the office last week and hated every minute


  • so typically no one has contacted me to collect the borrowed car , they said they would collect on monday and nothing NADA , great that i still have mobility but I'm so anxious it may be further damaged and have detected a small chip I hope they don't hold me accountable for.

    new log book has arrived , now been advised I need a crime number - have that now after 30 minute wait but I did ask the insurance advisor and he told me I didnt need one so its a bit annoying. with the bank holiday weekend it will probably be late next week before i get the money

    not going to buy another car just yet , will pay NM's insurance and basically use that , hopefully until my housing situation is sorted.

    3 more house viewings this weekend , I can't proceed without a bit of a ball ache but its helping me decide whats important and i think location is pulling rank over space right now.

    did the food shop , planned the weeks meals and then NM came in and said his shifts had changed next week so had to shift around a bit as different shifts mean different eating times and cooking/food prep time. 
    Sausage cass already for today in the slow cooker , Chicken in Harissa and Honey with cous cous on the menu for tomorrow.
    Our costs seem quite high at around £60 but we do eat fresh meat and fish daily and I buy a lot of fruit and veg so I know we are eating healthy as possible.
    Processed frozen foods and ready made sauces are something I'm not a great fan off.

    also been a bit offish in my mood again , DR has arranged further menopause tests again - I just feel full of sorrow at times , I guess thats grief and its a lonely place.
  • i feel like I'm constantly complaining about my health
    I have blood tests booked this evening , basically i'm having the worse burning joints feeling , pins and needles , tingling , like my whole body has been taken over.
    tempted to get on to the doc but they wont do much more without blood test results so i guess I'll have to be patient and try not to let health anxiety over come me...............did any MSE'er ladies have similar during the menopause
    honestly I feel like I'm falling apart!!

    the hire car has finally been collected , I used my womanly charm to chat to the young guy and hope he didnt look too closely at the car , he just walked round it with a tablet taking pictures and then said everything was fine.
    Everything wasnt , the wing mirror is scuffed and there is a stone chip on the passenger door but if he says everything is fine , everything is fine and once its driven away its not my problem!!
    got notification that my claim for my car is being paid , the settlement figure didnt include the deduction for the excess which I thought it did but you know what I'm so fed up with the whole scenerio I wont be making a fuss that they didnt up the amount by £150 like they agreed to on the phone 
    Will get around £5500 , its going in the bank for now and I will use NM's spare car.
    Got the insurance renewal through but I'm pretty sure I can get it cheaper , few weeks on that one though. Also got to try and track some petrol down to get me to the hospital for my blood test later.

    Still haven't cleared the tesco 0% , I will by the end of the month but I want to try and do it from spare salary and its small bonus month this month so I'm holding off to see what comes in that way. 

    Relatively busy weekend , clearing again at mums tomorrow , saturday a couple of house viewings , footie on the tv and then NM is working a door so i'll be home alone.
    Sunday we have an all day event and are staying over to make the most of time with friends and then monday so far is a chill out day and will hopefully stay that way. 

  • Humdinger1
    Humdinger1 Posts: 2,288 Forumite
    Eighth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    edited 14 April 2022 at 3:45PM
    @efes_shareholder bereavement can make you feel shocking but throw in the menopause too and I think you have the answer right there.  Without sounding too hippie/Mystic Meg, are you able to talk through your feelings in real life? Also weeping like a banshee whenever you can is also helpful, if that's your style...or maybe even if it's not.   Be kind to yourself and cut yourself some slack.  You're doing brilliantly but there is an awful lot to come to terms with and you'd have a heart of stone if you felt 'normal' at the moment.  We're all rooting for you love Humdinger xx 
Meet your Ambassadors

🚀 Getting Started

Hi new member!

Our Getting Started Guide will help you get the most out of the Forum

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 350.8K Banking & Borrowing
  • 253K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 453.5K Spending & Discounts
  • 243.8K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 598.6K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 176.8K Life & Family
  • 257K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 16.1K Discuss & Feedback
  • 37.6K Read-Only Boards

Is this how you want to be seen?

We see you are using a default avatar. It takes only a few seconds to pick a picture.