taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

WinterWarrior

I’m so sorry for your loss. Your mum will be pain free and heading on to her next adventure now xx

CRANKY40

Thinking of you and your family and sending love and hugs.

lucielle

So very sorry to read this.  She's at peace now and pain free.  Please make time for you
L

DancingInTheRain

So sorry efes, sending love 💔

Humdinger1

Efes so sorry to hear this.  It might be too early to say this but you will now be able to remember her at her best.  Take care love Humdinger xx 

Buffythedebtslayer

Truly sorry Efes, you have been on my mind, sending you love XXXX 

misslolu

Sorry for your loss, she's at peace now and you did your absolute best for her. Sending you hugs & positive thoughts.xxx

efes_shareholder

thank you all for your lovely messages.
It has been a tough last week but peoples kindness is a truly wonderful thing and has helped so much.

Mum is now at peace and this journey for me is over , its been the most challenging year of my life looking after her but I'm comforted I did it and I'd do it all again in a heartbeat.
Mums stay at the hospice was less then 36 hours , I now understand what people mean when they say no more suffering , pain had never been the issue during mums illness but boy this cancer made itself known in the last few days , it really is the most wicked cancer there is.
My sister left the hospice on sunday evening , there was no suggestion that end of life was near , no changes to her breathing etc , she was still taking fluids and talking.
The hospice called me in the early hours , by the time I'd realised the phone was ringing and tried to answer it they had rung off , within seconds of that they called my sister who fortunately was awake and we were in the car and enroute within 8 minutes of that call , we arrived at the hospice within half an hour however we were too late and she had gone moments before - she obviously didnt want us to see that 
We sat with her for several hours.

I broke my isolation but you know what , judge me , somethings are more important.

I've been in isolation ever since , my sister has been able to come to the house but at times its been difficult here surrounded by mums things. I've had my first negative line today so we went to our local for lunch and sat outside in the garden. 
I will be free come friday and have a appt at the funeral directors , a good friend of mine will do our arrangements , friday is also my birthday and people are telling me I shouldn't do it then but I want a date asap as several family members have quite a journey and as its the last thing I need do for my mum why shouldn't I do it on the day she bought me in to the world.

Once again , thank you all for your kind words x

Humdinger1

Efes you have done so well.  You have every reason to be proud and feel that you have gone above and beyond.  Nothing to reproach yourself with.  Take care xxx

Kitten868

Lots of love. Do whatever feels right. When you don't know what to do just do the next right thing. You are so strong and so amazing. Xxx