taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

efes_shareholder

lucielle said:

Keeping everything crossed. 

L

Thank you , right now I need everything 

efes_shareholder

So I’ve woken up to a positive result 
I guess it was inevitable 

Kitten868

Do you feel equally relieved and terrified? I did. You have a starting point now. This does have an end. You can get through this. I am sorry though. Have you got enough painkillers and things? 

Please look after yourself. It is hard going and you feel so exhausted. Xxxx

Humdinger1

@efes_shareholder as @Kitten868 says, is it a kind of relief? There is a timeline now.  Is there extra help you can get? Love Humdinger xx 

lucielle

Sorry to hear that. Hope it passes quickly. 

L

efes_shareholder

i'm glad i wont have the anxiety of avoiding it but annoyed that potentially im in here for another 10 days.
i feel ok so far , just legs a bit achey but I have my period so that won't help
i guess it was inevitable in the circumstances 
im still testing negative on LTF 

efes_shareholder

so I'm a little tired and achey and have a head ache and am still testing negative on lateral flow tests , i wonder if this is because I had my booster just under 3 weeks ago so am not carrying a heavy viral load...............I dont understand it
we had a night sitter last night and just aswell , mum was restless and agitated all night.
she keeps trying to get up , begging and crying for help - she can't get up , even with two carers it was a challenge before the virus and its certainly a challenge now.
checking the night sitter notes she has been like it all night 
its relentless , she has just now finally nodded off.
we have been waiting for either the GP or district nurse to call us since 9.30 this morning and after the nurse yesterday said at her bedside , she only has a week or so to live - we have asked that he never comes back in the house
pretty sure he is responsible for the current anxiety attack.

Kitten868

Oh efes. I'm not surprised. He was horrible. And so ridiculous when you have no way of knowing! Your poor mum feeling so panicked. Have you got any more anti anxiety medication for her? I hope they give you some. That must be so hard for her to go through and for you too. 

I'm hoping only nice nurses from here on out. Xxxx

efes_shareholder

the last 36 hours have been horrendous
I cannot begin to explain the anxiety , the nurse ended up having to give her a sedative by injection as the tablets didn't touch the sides , mum was repeatedly trying to get up , rambling nonsense , shouting , pleading for us to help her , and eventually slept for around 5 hours only to wake up and repeat the process again. I counted the time between each episode and the most it ever got to was 28 seconds.
i had to get the nurses out in the night as it started again and I watched her wake this morning , as soon as her eyes opened she was off again. 4 hours of this and eventually the nurse arrived to sedate her once again.
We have what is known as terminal agitation and both the nurses and macmillan are agreeing with us that its not possible to manage this at home and we need a hospice bed , slight problem , there is currently no bed available.
Its my birthday next week and I have this awful feeling that she will pass then.

vampirotoothus

Oh Efes, life is so difficult for you right now. Sending a hug x