taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

Kitten868

Keep thinking of you. Still wishing you the best of everything xxx

Verbatim

So sorry to hear that your mother has died. Although it was expected I know it will still be a shock. I hope you managed to arrange things to your satisfaction with the funeral directors and that you're getting the support you need. x

efes_shareholder

thank you all , im just trying to keep myself busy but ive been touched with so much kindness this last week that i am truly humbled

the cards , the flowers , neighbours making us stews , donations to my hospice fund raiser , its just been heart warming.

The service is arranged and the wake is booked. I contacted mums pensions and life insurance and need to post a certificate off to the equity release company for a settlement figure. 
it feels so very strange , its also strange to be able to go where i want when i want , the last year has been so testing but i'd do it all again for more time with my mum.

I've been staying at NM's , keeping busy cooking him healthy food as he is a bit down about his weight , hes always been in tip top shape but got out of the habit during lockdown so I'm happy to have this to think about. I've ordered a soup maker as I need to up my vegetable intake and its a good way to keep us warm and healthy 

I got a bonus this month so have squirreled a thousand pounds in to my savings , its still my intention to pay off the tesco card this month but i have until April so would rather wait until the latter part of the month. Obviously there is no rent to pay to mum but I don't expect NM to keep me and I think i am still liable for the council tax unless I claim to have moved out which technically i would have until the mystery surrounding the future of the house is concluded.
It will all sort itself out.

peb

You may be technically liable for council tax however don't forget the 25% discount.

efes_shareholder

peb said:

You may be technically liable for council tax however don't forget the 25% discount.

yes
also noticed that my virgin bill has risen from 56 to 71.
i was aware of the increase but not that it was around 20%
the bill is in mums name and paid by me , have kept it live for the moment as i may need to work from there from time to time but am tempted to terminate as mum obviously no longer here so i can and just rely on my hotspot from my phone

efes_shareholder

so two of mums insurance policies have already hit my account.
Need to move this in to a different account and keep it in a pot so everything can be cleared.st 
starting to organise house , the bed has gone and some other bits so we just need to shift things around to be presentabe for the leaving of the service and arrival of family.
meeting the celebrant next week.
found a letter my mum had written to my step dads daughter , she had a few years ago caused mum a lot of upset and was extremely rude to her meaning we no longer entertain her but mum did ask her to give her a small gift from the insurance when she died. Neither my sister nor me felt this was deserved however I assured my mum that we would do as she requested. mum has never mentioned the letter dated april last year , there was also one for my sister and I also reinstating the wish to give my ex step sister a small gift and telling us there was a sun alliance policy to cover it , I havent come across any sun alliance policy so I wonder if they now operate under a different name , if i don't locate it I may need to give them a call.
I've posted the letter to the equity release company along with a certificate and called a local estate agent who recently sold a proprty on our street to find out what it sold for , this is basically to assist me with the probate application. I've looked t the probate and it doen't look too complicated.

Yesterday a friend took me to lunch , a friend from my childhood , her heart is full of kindness but boy can she talk and a few hours was more then enough
keeping busy is helping me
tonight i've got a long overdue hair appt 

spends are pretty minimal at the minute , well aware I now need to squirrel away more then ever 

Kitten868

Sounds like you have been a busy bee. Got so much sorted out. I think park the step sister stuff for now. It's not on any official will and you can get around to it. There's much bigger decisions and things to do first. 

Is the life insurance going to settle the equity on the house? That would buy you more time for the decision at least.

I am sure you will get the house into fit state for the wake. You're wonder woman. I hope it goes fantastically. Lovely photos for the order of service and the right music. You will show all your honour and love. Lots of love xxx

efes_shareholder

the life insurance won't cover the equity owed. It will cover funeral and leave a little left over but not the equity.
i have written to the company and asked for a settlement figure.

i've felt very sad the last few days , I feel guilty for worrying about work so much when mum was ill , I feel guilty that I didn't get to spend anytime with her in the last few days and guilty that I didnt say good bye properly -  as much as you know someone is dying it isn't something you really bring up to them.

everything feels surreal and maybe i need to stop being so pratical and just allow myself to feel.

did spend the afternoon sorting downstairs out with my sister for the wake , it looks so much bigger and feels so much fresher.

went for lunch and to the football , this was a spend I could have done without but right now I just need to be kind to myself.
yesterday NM and I cooked a sunday roast and just had a chill day

lucielle

You said it yourself please be kind to yourself. 

L

efes_shareholder

lucielle said:

You said it yourself please be kind to yourself. 

L

I know 
I’m just missing mum right now even with all the stress it bought