taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

efes_shareholder

gosh i actually have 5 minutes to post although theres lots to include

Firstly I'm now on the waiting list for a hysterectomy , mri scanned the adiyemosis and true to his word the consultant put me on his list , he has to apply for funding as hopefully the surgery will be at the private hospital and hopefully the end to the discomfort ,obviously there is the recovery and mums care to think about but I cant see it being any time soon so lets roll on. I will have a face to face consultation in January to discuss further.

care plan is STILL not sorted , basically care agency have not actioned anything and when they did finally get round to it they just said they dont have capacity to increase mums package so we either carry on as we are or move care provider. Mum wants to stay as she is , she has had the same ladies for 9 months and now really trusts them as to do but we do need help. The call centre operator was so rude to me on the phone telling me they couldnt increase the calls ( dismissive of the 6 week wait) that I asked to speak to her manager who was busy as they all are , so I left a message and emailed the marketing email address on the company website asking their complaints procedure  only to recieve a reply from one of the directors , using an abbreivated name ( i'd checked them out on companies house in case I wrote to complain) 
Finally got my call back and am not waiting for them to come back to me as they revisit if they have capacity , it seemed throwing the directors name in to my last phone call got me the call back 
I didnt complain because because I wanted to get our way , I complained because working in a care environment there call centre should have an element of empathy and compassion and there was none.

On top of all of this , my supervisor has 2 weeks annual leave , she is the kind who lives to work and has very little else to do so when she isnt in the office you really notice the additional work loads , its been thoroughly manic , non step hence the lack of updates. Its like it whenever one of the office is not in , on the back my boss is getting an extra set of hands , something my supervisor has always been against as she likes to be a hero however he and I are on the verge of a breakdown so I think its for the best. 
As well as a double work load I also have mum , things havent changed that much , , she is still weak and sleepy , confused easily but eating ok and thankfully the soiling accidents have stopped for the moment.

I've made my final payment to the car so there is now just £600 on the tesco card 0%. its been quite spendy recently with weekends away , NM birthday this friday and xmas looming so I've shut the direct debit to the basic min payment for January to cover the xmas shopping and have until april to get rid of the balance at 0% , I have a bonus coming in January so I really really hope that come the end of January I can clear the tesco card fully. There is £215 that won't be going toward the car so its very doable considering I usually throw 300 a month at it anyway 
It seems almost surreal to be so close to being debt free for what feels like the irst time in my adult life 

efes_shareholder

Kitten868 said:

I'm so sorry about your Aunt. Just losing both of them on its own is so hard. I honestly don't know how you're doing it. I have said this the whole time. You seem to be running and running and running. And now to the theme song of a dog barking. I am glad you had the three days off. And getting to have nice weekends doing nice things. I honestly think you're wonderful. You'll throw yourself into anything. I think the words of your rather intense friend show more about you that was already gleaming out from these pages. You are such a kind soul and a force for good.

Have you told your nieces that they are welcome to visit for one hour and no more and there will be no food?

I am trying to think of how to make the faecal incidents easier. Some sort of ready to go bag... maybe just a bonfire bin by the back door?

I am really hoping you'll get some decent time off for christmas.xxxxxx

I have a week off next week , so looking forward to it and then xmas we shut down until the new year but all do a token 1 half day to keep things ticking over so there is another good break there. 

xmas I give up on , ive told the nieces they have the house , to be honest part of me is glad to be able to get out as it wont be much fun , not my mums fault bless her , just how it is. I'm here so many hours anyway it really wont hurt them to have a reality slap although I was very surprised when they just turned up to visit on sunday , so surprised that we already had visitors so the lack of space couldnt be completely ignored by them !!!

Kitten868

Every time I think you're beaten you rise even more. I'm so impressed with your fight with the horrid care company. It's such a rock and a hard place as the nurses that come in are lovely but not there enough. But it can't always be a bird in the bush. 

I do like the idea of leaving them to look after your mum for Christmas. Hope they get the Christmas they deserve. Hope you all do! 

Fantastic news on being free of the car loan! 

Good work on booking the week off and having the time off over Christmas. I think you're in desperate need of at least 1 responsibility coming off the table. 

Keep going you amazing woman. You are built of so much strength and power and light and kindness. Xxx

efes_shareholder

Kitten868 said:

Every time I think you're beaten you rise even more. I'm so impressed with your fight with the horrid care company. It's such a rock and a hard place as the nurses that come in are lovely but not there enough. But it can't always be a bird in the bush. 

I do like the idea of leaving them to look after your mum for Christmas. Hope they get the Christmas they deserve. Hope you all do! 

Fantastic news on being free of the car loan! 

Good work on booking the week off and having the time off over Christmas. I think you're in desperate need of at least 1 responsibility coming off the table. 

Keep going you amazing woman. You are built of so much strength and power and light and kindness. Xxx

you are far too kind , but thank you for such kind words
Its nice to hear when you're full of cold , worn out , menopausal and quite frankly out of tolerance for the world.

efes_shareholder

morning 
got my call from care agency , they have now decided that they can increase mums visits to 3 x daily , the third call is not an ideal time around 4pm when we would rather have had around 1-2 but its better then nothing and will certainly help next week when I'm off and at weekends to get me out and about and doing little things for xmas prep
it also keeps mum on the same round and with the same ladies which was so important to her.

Spent last nights at NM's , I was later getting here as sibling on a late shift so I picked up a takeaway on the way in rather then cooked , hes now gone to work but im camping out at his before I need to go home as although i need to find a gap to leave and drive home , my sister has a habit of coming in to my room and just rambling when im trying to work so I will leave it as long as possible before i go home

enthusiasticsaver

Enjoy your peace and quiet then today and good that a third daily visit agreed by the care agency. 

lucielle

Good news on the extra visit
L

efes_shareholder

oh i forgot to add , another £50 win on the prem bonds

WinterWarrior

Oh well done on the win. I love hearing about winners, it gives me hope 😬
and extra well done on sorting the carers! 

efes_shareholder

so the extra care visit isnt working out
they told me 4pm and its been 6 and we have our next call at 7 so its pretty pointless. I wish people wouldnt just give you lip service. The carers are embarrassed by it and I cant get any response from the office

Got a week off , will get it sorted - cant stand people wasting my precious time.

Aunt and Uncles service on friday , such a strange thing being a double funeral , mum made it which was what we wanted. She was worried about standing for hymms. Saw a few family members havent seen for a long time , including my aunt whose husband ( my mums brother ) died of the same cancer 10 years ago. Mum and her kinda fell out , nothing major but she didnt cope well when my uncle died and got upset that the family didnt rally around her for months and more so when my mum sent a xmas card to her , 9 months after his death, People grieve differently and she felt my mum shouldnt expect them to have a happy xmas without him and my mum just desparately missed her brother. Anyway she was at the funeral and although she spoke to my sister and I , she didnt speak to mum , she explained to my sister and I that seeing my mum so poorly reminded her of my uncle and she found it really upsetting. I get it but I was a bit disapointed, it would have taken an moment from her life to let mum know there was no heard feelings but people are people and we cant change that. Today my cousin ( her daughter) has messaged me and said she hoped they didnt come across as completely rude , they were just shocked to see her so poorly and they would like to visit her tomorrow. I'm happy with this , they have stepped away and realised that sometimes other peoples feelings are more important than your own. I wont be here but my sister will be and I'm thankful that some family rifts appear to healing. 

Took NM out for a birthday dinner last night , he has been great and I wanted him to feel spoilt which he was but on reflection the place was overpriced and not worth the money , nearly £100 for a steak main , salmon main and a bottle of wine. 
We wont return and we dont do it often and he has been so fantastic I just wanted him to feel appreicated.

Tomorrow we are on a party boat and staying up in london for the night , I dont want to go on the boat really and have told myself that after tomorrow there are no group gatherings for me until the new year , i don't want a covid xmas. We are going to smuggle some gin on board and hopefully it will be cheaper than dinner !!

Week off from work , my calender is filling up nicely , but i will be finishing off xmas shopping and getting everything wrapped