taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

efes_shareholder

WinterWarrior said:

Ah sorry, so it’s their dog and their rabbit? I misunderstood. Poor rabbit can’t be enjoying being barked at either ☹️

Yeah both there’s 
my sister says she heard the neighbour the other side complaining to her about the dog on Sunday , obviously fell on death ears 

efes_shareholder

Had my hair done …… ouch 
nails today so another ouch 

I just can’t be bothered with anything today and although I have a day off I have a few bits and pieces to do like buy a new broom and dispose of the filthy one 
I don’t want to do anything , let alone pack for a weekend 
I can’t be bothered 
today I hate life , mums words of yesterday are going through my head “ you wish I was dead it’s what you have wanted for months “ and I think you should leave 
then my nieces and their passive aggressive “ if you don’t want us just say “ 
they can all just F*** off , I’m out of compassion and understanding when there’s none for me 

my life is on hold , I have no freedom and I’m in this situation that I got no choice over whilst they all go about their merry business 

I have a plan a and plan b at Xmas and I’m sticking to it and quite frankly it’s tough on anyone who wants it otherwise 

today I have to pick a parcel up from two shops , buy vape fluid , pick mums prescription up , try and get the car looked at again cos the sodding tyre light is back on AGAIN ! pack for the weekend , tidy my room up for sisters use whilst I’m away , get my nails done and take care of mums needs 

I can’t be bothered with any of it 

I don’t like the world and I certainly don’t like people 

the_end_of_the_rainbow

Hope everything is ok x

enthusiasticsaver

Sorry life is so tough at the moment for you. Hope you can manage to enjoy your time away. 

Buffythedebtslayer

I felt a lot like that on Friday, I did enjoy my weekend away tho so am hoping it will be similar for you. X 
I am sorry. We all love you and support you. I hope you can feel that. XX 

efes_shareholder

Buffythedebtslayer said:

I felt a lot like that on Friday, I did enjoy my weekend away tho so am hoping it will be similar for you. X 
I am sorry. We all love you and support you. I hope you can feel that. XX 

I had a nice weekend , different but nice - sadly not restful as the sleeping arrangements were less then perfect but it was nice 
another music weekend , my BF worked and I didnt know that many people but it also meant it wasn't too mad and had some quality time.
thank you for your positive words and encouragement , its so lovely x

efes_shareholder

enthusiasticsaver said:

Sorry life is so tough at the moment for you. Hope you can manage to enjoy your time away. 

thank you 

efes_shareholder

the_end_of_the_rainbow said:

Hope everything is ok x

thank you , just had a quiet few days x

efes_shareholder

so the weekend was ok , got to the camp around mid afternoon friday and NM worked both the friday and saturday night , he found it hard going , even more so as one of the other security members had nabbed the double room and there was no room at all in the twin room , kind of selfish , kind of expected but we didnt let it spoil the weekend.

Saturday I left him to rest in the accomodation and went for a walk down the front with his friend and stopped for a drink , his friend is great therapy and is so feminine its easy to talk to him

there werent that many familar faces for me so it was a bit weird , i was introduced to a lot that NM knew so that was nice , 
came back sunday lunch time and we were both just absolutely shattered as there were late nights and not ideal sleeping arrangments

came home and noticed a decline in mum in just those few days , she is sleeping a lot more and having a lot more accidents and a month on there is still no sign of the additional carer , seems as though its stuck with the council social team for funding and everyone else had done their thing.

I have a few days off work so its been very much a relax , today a school friend I havent seen for over 30 years took myself and my sister out for lunch during mums nap time and came to visit mum after , she was always a little odd at school and didnt have many friends and I took her under my wing and kind of protected her from the bullying as I was a pretty street wise teenager , she made me cry talking about it today saying I had been her only friend and gave her the support to talk about various abuse in her household ....................she also said mum had made her feel so welcome when escaping her disfuctional family and she made mum very aware of that too and bought her a lovely bunch of flowers.
She is still very peculiar and didnt stop talking and i had to lay in a dark room after she left. 

Anyway back to money , spent around £30 over the weekend which is good going , have another this weekend which I really really don't fancy but NM is so looking forward to it I dont feel I can let him down.
It will be more spendy but I'll try and keep it under control.
its payday shortly after we get back 

efes_shareholder

in other news , my sister knocked and complained about the dog after it barked all weekend.

Council called me today and they are sending them a warning letter regarding noise

The neighbours the other side have also been vocal to them about the disturbance so they wont know who has been on to the council