taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

Kitten868

Sorry I've not been on I've caught the awful plague. 
Sorry your mums gone a bit more downhill. Just keep on top of her painkillers and you're winning. Maybe you look too with it for the hospice? I think it has to be an absolute last resort. It's terrible that that's the state of affairs. 
Good job on the boat. Definitely did the right thing getting off. Men are so easily wound up and it had already happened. 
What would you like for Christmas? Time with your kids? A nap? The biggest tin of sweets? Just make sure you get that. The rest is gravy. 
Keep going! Nearly there xxxx

efes_shareholder

Kitten868 said:

Sorry I've not been on I've caught the awful plague. 
Sorry your mums gone a bit more downhill. Just keep on top of her painkillers and you're winning. Maybe you look too with it for the hospice? I think it has to be an absolute last resort. It's terrible that that's the state of affairs. 
Good job on the boat. Definitely did the right thing getting off. Men are so easily wound up and it had already happened. 
What would you like for Christmas? Time with your kids? A nap? The biggest tin of sweets? Just make sure you get that. The rest is gravy. 
Keep going! Nearly there xxxx

oh no my lovely , I hope it isnt too harsh on you - seems its so rife it really makes you shared to leave the house 
I've been testing sometimes twice a day and only leaving home if i have too. 
I believe plenty of vitamin B and D is recommended.

I've asked about the hospice and yet again don't get a firm answer , just told mums pref is to be at home and they may not have beds................hmm
mum has agreed to the marie curie overnight stays which is something.
she has literally slept all day pretty much.

I really don't care much for xmas , I just don't want the spend the day at her bedside waiting for the last breath, its only one day granted but its not the day she would have wanted either 

Kitten868

Its hateful. To be fair it has been more than 6 months since my 2nd dose so that might be why. And now I can't get the booster for 4 weeks. 

What I meant was maybe next time the hospice people come you need to look less put together. They won't take your mum unless it's the only resort. Boris has underfunded the NHS so they can only run on the bare minimum. And it's no doubt affected the charities too. 

I pray for you all that she gets to have her Christmas. As you say any other day will be fine. You're doing a fantastic job. The hospice people can see she's better off with you. Her pain is managed. You've advocated for her so well the whole time. Xxxx

efes_shareholder

Kitten868 said:

Its hateful. To be fair it has been more than 6 months since my 2nd dose so that might be why. And now I can't get the booster for 4 weeks. 

What I meant was maybe next time the hospice people come you need to look less put together. They won't take your mum unless it's the only resort. Boris has underfunded the NHS so they can only run on the bare minimum. And it's no doubt affected the charities too. 

I pray for you all that she gets to have her Christmas. As you say any other day will be fine. You're doing a fantastic job. The hospice people can see she's better off with you. Her pain is managed. You've advocated for her so well the whole time. Xxxx

my booster is next week , ive purposely arranged it for when I'm not working just in case I have an adverse reaction , just pray I don't just struck with the Rona in the interim
i hope you feel better soon

We have our first Marie Curie sit tonight after mum agreed yesterday. Its re assuring as obviously her mobility is really restricted and I don't always hear her in the night as I sleep so heavily. 

The hospice people are coming tomorrow for the first time in 6 months , you could be right - we are coping too well but I don't want to lay it on to heavy in front of mum as if I do she will feel like a burden

efes_shareholder

tired is todays word
was planning on an early night last night and then NM arrived to collect some gift bags and ended up staying and also had a few late night snack and toilet stops for mum.
was up at 6am to go to m&s food hall in search of a particular item to take as a gift on xmas day and none on the shelf !!
Marie curie called and we get our first night visit tonight , mum has allowed this and i think she knows she now needs it

I need to straighten up a bit downstairs before they arrive at 10pm

£40 gift card arrived from work in place of a xmas party , I dont need anything on amazon but it will come in handy when i do,
hoping for an xmas bonus but we shall see.

all shopping done , just need to drop a few bits off tomorrow when my sister comes in 
she has not been here today as she is on a 12 hour shift

Looking forward to a bath and bed in all fairness

Kitten868

Best of luck with the overnight help. Hope it proves fruitful and you get some decent rest knowing you can totally switch off. A night off the clock! 

Well done on being decisive with your gift voucher. Genuinely had no idea what to do with mine when it came through. We need a million things but can't bring myself to buy them. And by the time I'd thought of any xmas gifts I had bought them. Nice gesture though xxx

Buffythedebtslayer

Just sending love and hoping you are having a restful night 

XXX 

efes_shareholder

good morning 
lovely lady came last night , a little late at 10pm but I switched everything off for 10.30 and slept peacefully until 6.30am this morning
Could hear mum having a chat with her last night and this morning and mum said she slept much better , she often looks so uncomfortable in the mornings when she has put herself back in to bed and was still sleeping soundly and tucked up all cosy until 8.30 this morning where as usually she will wake around 6.
It appears the service is sold which is a huge relief
I did have a little spend up in the river island sale , kind of need the stuff , kind of don't , may not collect.

Today I've got a few gifts to drop off , and a pcr test to post ( with hope it will return before xmas) and the macmillan nurse is visiting to assess mum who ironically appears to have had better days the last day or so , not knocking it as want her as well as can be to enjoy xmas but its the law of sod that she improves when a visit is arranged.

efes_shareholder

i take it back ..............relaxing evening maybe , but just gone downstairs to find mum stood in middle of lounge with walking frame at the opposite end of the room and her frozen to the spot wearing my underwear !!!!! 
retrieved a frame and asked if she wanted to spend xmas in hospital as that where she is going if she falls !! 
Left unsupervised she is a danger to herself , don't know how I am ever expected to get any work done 
In my head I'm thinking "your going to a care home" not something I really want to do but ...............

efes_shareholder

so its been a busy day but all quiet on the work front

presents delivered and PCR in post , will do another tomorrow as the security tag was a big dodge.

Sister came in , her day off of work but she never gives more then what she would on a work day.
told her not to worry about coming tonight as NM is busy and I just want to get organised for xmas and sleep and I cant be doing with driving back early tomorrow when we are both off all of the week after xmas and he stays here alot more now

Macmillan visited , out of earshot of mum agreed that there is a significant decline but again can't give any indication of progression , no one can.
she gave us guidance on who to contact for what and said she will ask our district nursing team for a more comfortable bed for mum. Mum did her usual , she is fine , she feels fine , there aren't any problems etc and promptly drifted to sleep mid conversation.
Nurse is also going to request a syringe driver from the doctors which is what they use when mum can no longer medicate orally , we have had the injectable drugs in the house so long they have actually expired twice.
It doesn't look like anything will change before xmas which was our concern last week but who knows , again no one does.

daughter managed to get special pate in her local M&S