taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

efes_shareholder

Things have settled back down again 
Feel lighter anyway , not sure if thats because I've not had as much work the last 2 days or if I've just adjusted.
Yesterday I was up early , stripped and changed my bedding , grabbed a sunbed and popped for eggs , made mum scrambled eggs for breaking, mopped all vinyl/ laminate floors upstairs , bleached the tea cups , cleaned bird poop of mine and nms cars , tidied my boot , popped to tesco and decided to have another go at the garage before quickly deciding that the side identified to be sorted was clearly just more rubbish. Mum and I have discussed it and decided that once next pay day comes round ie my house keep we will get the guys we had before to return and just take it away as its been there years and clearly cant be that important. Its an assembement of old Xmas trees , garden chairs , paint pots and various pieces of wood etc ! 
NM popped over to watch some footie and pick up his convertible ( gotta have it in this weather ) he stayed for a little while and provided a much needed cuddle but even he noticed mums weight loss since he saw her last week.
He had been shopping and treat us both to replica England shirts from the market ( I insisted he did buy authentic sports shop versions as 60 for something you will only wear for a week or two is ridiculous) 
This morning I'll do mum some breakfast and get my overnight bag ready , having my nails done early ( England theme for the euros) just has to be done and then heading over to him before setting off to watch the game with friends. 
Its in a bar rather then garden so will be some spends involved , as he bought the shirts and won't take the money I will im sure insist on paying lunch at the venue , im not one of these who will let the man pay everything , he started off as very traditional insisting on paying everything until I had to sit him down and say sometimes he just had to let me pay if I offered ....... dont think he's used to be being around women with that mentality.
Watched the Denmark 🇩🇰  game last night and found what happened very distressing , im a massive spurs fan and when Eriksen played for us he was one of my favorites , I love a creative player who plays the game beautifully. So so pleased that he recovered , I was sure it was going to be an unhappy ending , credit to the Danish players who formed the ring of steel around him in what must have been an absolutely harrowing moment in their lives, just reminds us how quickly life can change 

efes_shareholder

yesterday was a very spendy but much needed and lovely day , got my nails done in england designs early , headed to nm and had a quick shower and then we set off to see friends to watch the football. as we were with the club owner , he provided us with lunch but the drinks flowed and we then we went to a turkish for dinner , pockets about £50 lighter from the footie but I had a great day and really needed it so right now I don't care. Will also need fuel , going to pop a £20 in and hope that it lasts the 16 days until pay day , can't see why it shouldn't.
Mum seems to have stabilised again , ate really well on saturday but suffered a lot of sickness after , macmillan came in today to talk about her anxiousness , im hoping this has done the trick
Heading back to NM later , going to cook us up a nice steak

Kitten868

Glad there's been some high points to the weekend. Certainly sounds like you had some fun. Love the sound of the nails. 
I think there's going to be some peaks and troughs with your mum. It keeps you on your toes. Hope she gets a good stretch of plain sailing this time. 

Glad your mums being more pragmatic about clearing the house. We'll the garage at least. It sounds crazy but it'll help you feel clearer and more in control to have that under your belt. So well done you xxx

efes_shareholder

Kitten868 said:

Glad there's been some high points to the weekend. Certainly sounds like you had some fun. Love the sound of the nails. 
I think there's going to be some peaks and troughs with your mum. It keeps you on your toes. Hope she gets a good stretch of plain sailing this time. 

Glad your mums being more pragmatic about clearing the house. We'll the garage at least. It sounds crazy but it'll help you feel clearer and more in control to have that under your belt. So well done you xxx

My theory is if I clear the garage then when its time to clear the loft I have somewhere to put anything that needs to be salvaged although judging by whats in the garage , there wont be much !! I believe my pram is still up there and I am fast approaching 48 !!
I think now she has her attendence allowance theres a little bit more access to cash , still in the overdraft but not as deeply as before and I don't think we will ever see an end to the packages coming through the door.

efes_shareholder

decided to dice a bit and put £15 in the car , externally hopefully that it will be sufficient if not indeed doubtful.
Went over to NM's last night , was shattered and after cooking him a chilli for the week and steak and salad for us , I collasped in to a sweaty heap in front of the fan and promptly fell asleep !! 
Woke up this morning , microwaved some rice , had a shower ( between working ) and then came home. Home is calm , bit of activity as the local council have sent from demands for payment for mums carers although we have been told this comes from an "end of life" care pot and is exempt from means testing. Couple of phone calls and it appears to be sorted. I wouldn't be paying it regardless but just want to put a stop to any miscommunication within the departments and stop the letters.
Today I've got some shopping being delivered , and a telephone consultation as a follow up to my procedures , my pain has come back and im not as regular as I was following the procedure so I'm going to discuss this at a bit more length , as Vile as moviprep is I'd rather take that every 6 weeks then medicate the pain , anyway we will see whats said.
Rest of the month is going to be a bit of a tight affair , Since I paid the car insurance up front I was always expecting this so I'm not overly alarmed. still looking at houses on a regular basis ( dont really know why) they seem to be faltering a little bit which is good news and will possibly make staying put a bit more affordable , since clearing the garden I've realised our brick built garden wall is a bit wobbly and could do with at least repair if not a rebuild..............I'm thinking this could be an expensive thing to rectify .....................there is lots of thinking to be done

WinterWarrior

Would you be able to get some ready made mortar and patch the wall? I’m a bit of a bodger 😬,  it’s always worth a try and often you’ll surprise yourself. 

I hope that pram is silvercross...a museum might want it! I was a 70’s baby too. 

Kitten868

Does the brick wall support anything? Or is it just a barrier? You might not need to replace it with another brick wall? But yes brick walls can be pricey.
Fingers crossed the petrol lasts and I am sure you'll get through on a smaller pay packet totally fine xxx

efes_shareholder

Kitten868 said:

Does the brick wall support anything? Or is it just a barrier? You might not need to replace it with another brick wall? But yes brick walls can be pricey.
Fingers crossed the petrol lasts and I am sure you'll get through on a smaller pay packet totally fine xxx

Its an end of terrace , the wall wraps round the house down to the back gate with the garage at the foot , its crumbling away at the top and my step dad many years ago did a quick fix of trellis along the top row between the columns to keep it secure , I don't think it may have to be a complete rebuild but it does need attention in certain places , particulary at the foot of the garden which was obscured by an old shed until the recent rubbish removal. It could possibly be rebuilt in places , maybe rendered , I don't really know but its insensitive of me to look in to how much that will cost at this time but something I need to take in to account , its possible it could be fenced but I actually quite like it being a wall , it feels more of a fortress.

efes_shareholder

WinterWarrior said:

Would you be able to get some ready made mortar and patch the wall? I’m a bit of a bodger 😬,  it’s always worth a try and often you’ll surprise yourself. 

I hope that pram is silvercross...a museum might want it! I was a 70’s baby too. 

I believe it is silver cross , the king of prams at the time - I remember its purple !! It will be interesting to see what  kind of condition it is in.
If its usable i have a feeling my daughter may well want it for when she starts a family ( hopefully not too far away ) as she lives in an art deco property and seems to love things of that era - that said I'd happily buy her a modern all dancing pram. 

I'm ok with sanding and a paintbrush but anything beyond that is very scary ! I can't even assemble a flat pack , I guess I'll have to work on my DIY at some point.

efes_shareholder

Yesterday was again a slightly better day.
I went to NM's monday evening and cooked us steak and salad ( well that I didnt cook) but couldn't keep my eyes open and fell asleep on the sofa at 9.30 , its usually him that does that !! 
came home , mum was pretty well , I worked downstairs with her all day and we had little chats here and there. Sorted out the incorrect invoicing for mums care plan so thats the council off our backs. £6 spend in the corner shop on vape fluid and a bar of chocolate as its "that" time.
Had my phone consultation with the specialist , he says I have gastritis and that the tablets I have will heal the affected area over the next 8 weeks , should they not then I am to go back to him. Just have to trust I guess , Dr Google tells me that Gastritis is caused by stress and excess alcohol and I guess over Nov/Dec i was getting through a lot of gin , now I only have the odd glass or so when I am off duty as I am too nervous to get too engrossed in a gin session.
It says it should cause sickness but I am never sick and certainly haven't had any of that. Anyway on that score time will tell but I won't be giving up with trying to get my endo further looked in too.
Today I've already stripped a bed and put the washing in the wash , not a good night by the looks of things , I've arranged a video call via my cousin so my mum and my aunt who is also not in the best of health can have a chat. I'll be heading for a sunbed (another £7 spend) at some point and other then that its just work.