Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 3 - A New Beginning

Toni'sfriend

I agree. If it helps you to post keep on doing it. If he doesn't like it he nobody's forcing him to read it.

beanielou

You could change your user name & start afresh?
PM a board guide.

f0xh0les

If he is on here reading this, I do not know how he can sleep at night. Your son is afraid to sleep in his own bed because of him. You are worried about your daughter's mh because of him. You had bailiffs at your door because of him. You had the police at your door because of him. You had his boss on your doorstep because of him, looking for his property he had stolen. Well, there is such a lot for him to explain when your daughter is older. Like why drink driving and stealing is perfectly fine. While you are working a stressful job and taking in extra exam marking, and doing private tutor sessions, just so your kids don't know that Daddy is wasting thousands of pounds of your hard earned money that you would rather spend on making them happy, because he won't face up to the fact it is over between you.

I'd rather be overweight now, than him when he finally realises how much this is affecting his kids. If he does not front up to court soon, and sort out some kind of contact, then they will never forgive him.

If you want to start afresh on a new thread, that is fine. We will probably cross paths on other threads - we will need a code word - I can think of a few but they would be censored.

Otherwise, perhaps he needs to see how a person doing 3 jobs cannot in any way, shape, or form be called lazy or useless, or that maybe, if you did not have to work 3 jobs, and sleep in the same bed as ds, you might have more time to focus on yourself, your health and be able to afford a nice personal trainer, but in the situation you are in, that is not possible. Your priorities right now are not attracting a man, they are keeping a roof over your heads and your kids. Damn straight you are a good mum. Even an idiot can see that.

Massive hugs, glad your fb friends and mse friends are with you on this journey, I am sure it is easier with somewhere to vent. Do whatever you feel comfortable with. Either way, you have my virtual, totally useless, invisible, support.

jeanjj

Foxholes has expressed most eloquently the feelings of the majority of the forum. Print it out CCL, learn it off by heart and recite it to yourself at every opportunity. You are amazing.

crazy_cat_lady

Hey :wave: Thank you all for your thoughts and support - particularly you f0xh0les. Everything that you summarised has happened (except some phone calls rather than visits) and I don't see where I can possibly be blamed for all of this. All I seem to get from people is that they're amazed I stuck it out as long as I did. If I am what he says then I'm amazed that he stuck it out as long as he did.
I don't feel great writing this all down thinking that he might be reading it all and interpreting my thoughts in his own way, but this is my safe space - it's like my counselling where I come to vent everything and sit and have a good cry if I need it, and I have a good gang of support and good advice from the people on here. We all need people to talk to don't we? And why should I be so concerned? We aren't together any more and he won't even do me the courtesy of an address for a letter. This is my diary and my place, and it's a real shame that he can't keep out of here and let me get on. But I don't think I want to change my username at the moment - I just don't want him knowing the ins and outs of everything that's going on and the preparations I'm making for court etc. Not that it matters because he's not going to show up.
Why does everything need to be so complicated? All I want is a quiet life, and to move on without him. Every time he gets in touch it brings back all these negative feelings and I end up all over the place again - like when I go to court and he's not there. It's just a bit rubbish really. So you can imagine I haven't had the most productive of days again. I don't know if it's me, but the kids seem to be a bit vile at the moment. It may be me being all shouty and grumpy because I'm distracted with other stuff, but I'm calling it assertive rather than aggressive :rotfl:
I seem to be falling behind again at work - barely surviving there. I feel like I have no energy and not much motivation. I just want a quiet week followed by a quiet weekend and lots of sleep and fun times, without my kids trying to kill each other :rotfl: (never going to happen). I feel quite fed up.

Chrystal

f0xh0les wrote: »

If he is on here reading this, I do not know how he can sleep at night. Your son is afraid to sleep in his own bed because of him. You are worried about your daughter's mh because of him. You had bailiffs at your door because of him. You had the police at your door because of him. You had his boss on your doorstep because of him, looking for his property he had stolen. Well, there is such a lot for him to explain when your daughter is older. Like why drink driving and stealing is perfectly fine. While you are working a stressful job and taking in extra exam marking, and doing private tutor sessions, just so your kids don't know that Daddy is wasting thousands of pounds of your hard earned money that you would rather spend on making them happy, because he won't face up to the fact it is over between you.

I'd rather be overweight now, than him when he finally realises how much this is affecting his kids. If he does not front up to court soon, and sort out some kind of contact, then they will never forgive him.

If you want to start afresh on a new thread, that is fine. We will probably cross paths on other threads - we will need a code word - I can think of a few but they would be censored.

Otherwise, perhaps he needs to see how a person doing 3 jobs cannot in any way, shape, or form be called lazy or useless, or that maybe, if you did not have to work 3 jobs, and sleep in the same bed as ds, you might have more time to focus on yourself, your health and be able to afford a nice personal trainer, but in the situation you are in, that is not possible. Your priorities right now are not attracting a man, they are keeping a roof over your heads and your kids. Damn straight you are a good mum. Even an idiot can see that.

Massive hugs, glad your fb friends and mse friends are with you on this journey, I am sure it is easier with somewhere to vent. Do whatever you feel comfortable with. Either way, you have my virtual, totally useless, invisible, support.

I totally agree with every word written by foxholes, and if you're reading this MR what you've done/are doing to your children is, in my humble opinion, beyond despicable.

beanielou

No wonder your are fed up cat lady.
That must be an understatment.
Keep plodding

bizzie

Another one who thinks f0xh0les has summed it up perfectly.

Suffolksue

And another ,I wish I could write as eloquently as Foxholes

24ta

Another who thinks foxholes has summed it up perfectly