Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 3 - A New Beginning

f0xh0les

Show them your GCSE results! then refer to your subject as Potions. It all counts toward student engagement.
You already have the cat.

You rock!

crazy_cat_lady

Well I'm quickly checking in but I really don't think that I'm done. I had the lady in with my triple set year 11's first thing. She was in for half an hour with my head of department (is only meant to be 20 mins max) so I figured it had either been pretty good or pretty bad for her to stay longer. Thankfully it was pretty good. I had my interview with the inspector after school. Old time Ofsted would say that was me done, but I am not entirely convinced that they won't be back tomorrow at some point so I'm busy trying to plan some brilliant lessons. Tougher day tomorrow. I had a rotten night of sleep last night and am really ready for a rest now, but more of the same tomorrow... I can be resting and in bed, asleep this time tomorrow.

wishingthemortgaheaway

Well done, that all sounds positive. You are right, they may be back tomorrow, but do your best, that's all you can do.

Keep plodding ccl, hope you rest up soon.

Buffythedebtslayer

Oh WOW.

sending you all the positive vibes going XXX

joeyjimbles

Well done for yesterday, and hope today is as good or better. And a lovely rest this evening.

crazy_cat_lady

I am beyond tired today. The past few weeks are really catching up with me now... It's been tough and has now started affecting my mood a bit too (unsurprisingly).
I can't talk about the Ofsted result as it's confidential until the report is published but I am very pleased it's all over. I'd forgotten that I had an open evening to visit on Wednesday (ds is in Year 6) and that was followed by a full teaching day on Thursday so by the time I got home Thursday night I was just exhausted. I couldn't be bothered with crochet, work or computer and I was watching telly but couldn't take anything in... It seems to have been non stop since term started again and the older I get, the harder it seems to be to keep up.
Yesterday was dd's birthday - I actually cannot believe I have a 15 year old child now. She is amazing though. She got a message from her dad saying the he loved her and misses her - but then he didn't reply when she messaged him back. I'm devastated for her - he's been out of her life for months and then suddenly shows up before disappearing again straight away. Other than that though she seemed to enjoy her day - she got lots of cards and money and some really nice presents from her friends and she went out with them last night for pizza (I was the taxi).
I had a couple of drinks in front of the telly last night and I've woken up this morning feeling a bit worse for wear. Strangely woke earlier than I would on a school day - and the mood of doom has descended a bit again - I really do bore myself sometimes.
There's a letter from my solicitor with yet another court date in it. No sign of ex in person. I confess I cried for a good ten minutes over it - just feeling sorry for myself. Dog has had no luck in finding him, my solicitor wants me to make another costly appointment to see him before court so we can come up with a plan of action. I hate that this is still not resolved and that my ex husband still seems to hold all of the cards in spite of doing absolutely nothing at all. Ever.
God I am just so skint. And lonely. And with no self esteem. I seem to be trapped in this circle - picking myself up and trying to move on, followed by this huge crash when I realise I can't move on. And whilst I'm fine doing this on my own most of the time, sometimes I just want someone there beside me for a bit of support and reassurance. I don't always want to be doing it on my own. I've lost all faith in the court and justice system for sure.

PurpleFairy26

Gosh cat that really does sound so frustrating for you. I have no words of advice I'm afraid. Are you making chutneys and flavoured gin today?

beanielou

Get you on the just wanting some support sometimes.
My DS is 26 next week!!
Keep plodding:)

Chrystal

Sorry to hear you're feeling so !!!! CCL.

I must admit to having doubts about your Solicitor --why does he have to see you again - charging you again - when he knows there is nothing that YOU can do ? Surely it's up to them to sort something out?
Is it their incompetence that's causing the problems? I don't know how much they're charging you but I seriously think I'd be contacting the Law Society to see if this is normal practice, and if so WHY?
No easy solutions to how you're feeling because it involves a total mind set change from you seeing yourself in a totally negative way. That needs to change but only you can make that happen... have you thought about 'self assertiveness' classes? A friend of mine did one years ago and it turned her life around. ( the way my life is going at the moment I should probably take my own advice and do one myself!)
I hope you manage some R&R over the weekend, and start next week in a different frame of mind. (((hugs))) XX

crazy_cat_lady

I don't think it is my solicitor Chrystal. It's court costs and fees that are adding up... Every time we go to court I have to pay, and it is the judges that I see that keep adjourning and sending me away no further forward. My solicitor has actually done as much as he can over phone and email to try and minimise costs for me. The issue is not being able to find ex, and him not replying to any messages. I am completely in limbo - the appointment is so that we can come up with some plan of action for what to say/do when we're next in court. My solicitor's advice has been sound so far - it's the legal process that is dragging on. I think that my solicitor wants to try and present an argument to the judge about the impact that this is having on me financially and mentally so we need to get some sort of statement sorted. We'll see, once I've made an appointment and spoken to him.
Today has turned out ok in the end. I'm still completely and utterly rubbish but that's the back end of my hangover hanging on in there - I had a nap this afternoon.
Finally managed to catch up with bestie in C0stalot for an hour. It was exactly what I needed as well and has done wonders for the paranoia there. Obviously I spent on a cuppa and a sarnie for my lunch. I feel better in terms of that.
Little walk down the beach with ds, continuing in our way of making sure we get out for at least 30 minutes of walking every day. It was quite breezy down there but nice to be walking a bit and get some air - clear my head and feel like I'm doing something a little bit positive.