Would you leave your house to daughter only and not between son and daughter?

Primrose

Your children both made their choices. You should respect them and not let their respective financial situations influence your decision making.
Leave your assets 50/50. Your son could suffer a financial disaster, unemployment, serious illness or divorce later in his life which could completely dissolve his current financial situation and leave him in financial hardship.
You can,t judge how their futures will turn out longer term. Play it safe then you will have noting to reproach yourself with I'd things go wrong. You son,t want to leave bad feelings between them after you have died..

Do you love your daughter more because she is poorer because that is exactly what it will look and feel like to your son even if he understands your financial reasoning.

indiepanda

My mum at one point said she was planning to leave everything to my sister because I earned more money. Turned out she was just in a spiteful mood and wanted to hurt me. I've since seen my parent's will (my dad handed me a copy unasked for when mum was ill a while ago) and it's a 50/50 split, which is how things should be, and my (younger and healthier so likely to live longer) dad would never dream of it being any different.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't mind if my parents needed to spend every last penny they owned and sell the house to give themselves a decent lifestyle in their old age, I don't have any right to expect a penny. But if there was anything to leave and I found I'd been cut out because I've worked harder than my sister I would have been really quite hurt. It's not like it's luck I ended up better off, when she was off out with her friends every night as a schoolgirl I was being the class geek, studying hard (and getting bullied for it) to get a decent education to lead to a good job. And while she was able to enjoy her early & mid twenties setting up home with her fiance (now husband), most of mine were spent doing some of the hardest professional exams going and getting pretty stressed by them.

martinbuckley

I take it they both had the same opportunities as kids. Your son chose to get on and be successful and your daughter chose to get knocked up by a man old enough to be her dad.

If I were the son, I'd be pretty peeved if you continued in death supporting your daughter's poor life-choices.

marliepanda

maman wrote: »

I suppose I was swayed by the picture OP painted of her DD (moving into the house immediately her mother had passed before even informing her brother).

What’s her direct debit got to do with anything?

borkid

marliepanda wrote: »

What’s her direct debit got to do with anything?

In this instance I think DD means dear daughter and not direct debit.

steph2901

50/50

I don't think it's fair to leave one child out just because they have more than the other. I'd give mine an equal share no matter what. Unless the son says to give it all to the daughter, then give them 50/50

Poor_Single_lady

We don't have any right to inherit. I dont understand All the people that think 50/50 is the only way.
If you left 50% to daughter and 50% to dogs home that's fine. It's up to you.

If my parents died and left the house To my useless brother and me nothing (ex some of the contents) that would be completely fine.

i don't think there is anything wrong in leaving house just to the daughter. I think the whole point of a will is overlooked by a lot of people. It's your wishes so get them written down.

*a bit hypocritical as I myself need to make a will! It's on my to-do list.

Brighton_belle

Poor_Single_lady wrote: »

We don't have any right to inherit. I dont understand All the people that think 50/50 is the only way.
If you left 50% to daughter and 50% to dogs home that's fine. It's up to you.

If my parents died and left the house To my useless brother and me nothing (ex some of the contents) that would be completely fine.

While it is great you feel it would be fine for your parents to do that in your family, I don't think it is fine in general for parents to do this without warning and explanation.
It's not about a 'right' to inherit, but it is about a right to be treated fairly by parents and wills are about an expression of love and care and valuing and to have no warning and no chance of asking questions (because they are dead) is incredibly cruel in my opinion. It also smacks of cowardice unless one of your children is abusive.

Poor_Single_lady

I don't understand really.

The son is very wealthy and the daughter isn't. i don't think it would be a mystery to him why he hasn't been left the house.

it doesn't mean the son is loved Less.

A persons will is their wishes. If they want to leave things a certain way it's up to them. I get that most people feel it should be 50/50 but I just feel if they want to give it where It is most needed then surely that's a better use of money.

The son is mortgage free with £250k in the bank so it is arguable that he may just put the money in the bank and not even use it.
On the other side of the fence The house would be life changing for the daughter and it would make a big difference to her everyday.
I think people are well justified in sending their money where it's most needed when they are no longer here.

marliepanda

borkid wrote: »

In this instance I think DD means dear daughter and not direct debit.

Hehe I was being cheeky. Bloody hate mumsnet acronyms...