Would you leave your house to daughter only and not between son and daughter?

ska_lover

thorsoak wrote: »

Wow! Aren't there a whole lot of people here who assume an awful lot about the lives of people about which we know nothing!

Could well be that the daughter who has children but no house is the sort of person who does everything for everyone else (including her mother) but never thinks about herself - and her brother could be the english drug dealing p***do. And before I go any further - NO I do not think either of these things - but we no nothing about the family dynamics and we should not be judging why the mother thinks about leaving her property in this way.

I know what you mean, but you could cut and paste that to every question ever asked on this forum - as always, we can only work with the information we are given - and in this case a very specific question was asked

ska_lover

consumers_revenge wrote: »

slightly aside but were you happy for a 53 year old to of been dating a girl of 23?????


I know love is blind.....but that's love in need of a guide dog!

I don't see a problem if they are happy - love is love is love

sitesafe

No one knows what tomorrow brings - it's easy to assume your son will remain comfortable and successful for the rest of his life and that your daughter will be struggling but that might not be the case. Son could become unwell/unable to work/need to use cash for health reasons etc. Daughter could meet someone closer to her own age or decide to work full time. Don't assume that how they are now means it'll always be that way.

I do think you should discuss it with your son though if you do plan to give the daughter your home

pearl123

I would give the money to the person who needs it. I'd say go with your gut instinct.

milliemonster

My best friend lost her mum when she was 23, her mum had left the house to her and nothing to her brother, this caused a massive fall out and resulted in my friend and her brother never speaking again (she is 45 now) Irrespective of the personal circumstances of each of your children, grief does incredible things to people and although you see this as a practical solution, your son may interpret this entirely differently, I know I would

Artytarty

This happened to me.my father left his estate between his wife and my brother because I was financially comfortable.
Although I know he meant well it caused me deep upset as I felt I was being punished for the sensible choices I had made in life. I held it against my dad for a long time, luckily it did not cause-much- I'll feeling between my brother and I but it was incredibly painful at the time.

Marvel1

thorsoak wrote: »

Make a will, leaving a nominal amount to your son and the rest to your daughter - and place a letter with the will explaining why you have treated them so differently. Do not leave your daughter to have to bear the brunt of any indecisiveness on your part.

If no discussion before hand and just the letter Daughter will still bear the brunt I imagine.

Keep_pedalling

The fact that one of your children has a child of her own, and the other will never have any children would also be of concern to me, in that I would be considering a 3 way split rather than a two way.

I have just finished winding up my mothers small estate, half of which went to the grand children and the rest to my brother. This was at my insistence as we are. better off than he is and our estate is already in IHT territory so it does not need to be any bigger. If your son is single then his estate will also be subject to IHT so maybe he feels the same way as I did, especially as he has no children to leave his wealth to.

Best thing you can do is talk to him.

[Deleted User]

sitesafe wrote: »

No one knows what tomorrow brings -

This in a heart beat. As the Daughter who was predicted as needing more of the help, I cannot begin to describe how it feels when you end up thinking this birthday money I am giving to my brother who will just use it to pay bills feels pretty tragic - I am told my brother has passed me now. It wasn't ever the prediction.

Hope nothing has been jinxed as I do remember the day the call came when the accident happened - always be open to change where ever possible - you cannot control the cards dealt.

enthusiasticsaver

An inheritance is an end of lifetime gift to acknowledge the relationship between giver and recipient. As such I feel it would be cruel to ignore the son because he is financially better off at the moment than his sister.

50/50 for me definitely.

The brother can always gift his half of the house to his sister or let her live in it rent free until she is ready to sell. Supposing the daughter and partner move in to the house and in a split the 76 year old gets half. How will that make you feel?