Would you leave your house to daughter only and not between son and daughter?

katiekittykat

50/50


It isn't fair otherwise

Why should your son be punished for his good life choice?

Sea_Shell

It's even harder when you see your parent subsidising them now too!!! Double whammy!!!

peachyprice

maman wrote: »

I really don't understand where this 'bear the brunt' comes into it. Either way the daughter is going to get an inheritance, a sizeable gift from her mother. To me 'bear the brunt' means hardship, suffering???

'Bear the brunt' in this case means to be left to deal with the aftermath, it doesn't apply to only financial hardship and suffering it can mean the resulting emotional burden of another's actions.

The daughter would be left to bear the brunt of her brothers hurt, anger, dismay, disillusion that his mother apparently loved and respected him less than his sister. It is a very unkind position of leave the daughter in.

Kynthia

As well as the arguments for treating your children equally there's things that can change in the meantime. Your son could become financially worse off due to illness, divorce, etc, or your daughter could become better off such as her partner could inherit or she could end up with a new partner with more money.

Also one thing I have seen happen when a property is specifically left to someone and cash left to someone else is what happens if your home is sold for any reason? If you were between moves to downsize or if your home was sold to pay for your care, a poorly written will could leave your daughter with nothing. You may think you can change your will if circumstances change but many people dont get around to it quick enough or no longer have capacity.

Think carefully and discuss it with your family.

Sea_Shell

As the op hasn't come back, we may never know what they decided to do.

DigForVictory

I wonder if in a few years time there'll be a post "My mother died & left the family home to my sister & I don't understand why."

My parents are contorting like pretzels to try to be fair to us three daughters - to outright support one child & ignore the other as he's successful seems very wrong, unjust & short-sighted.

calleyw

Sea_Shell wrote: »

It's even harder when you see your parent subsidising them now too!!! Double whammy!!!

Surely that means they get less as they have already had part of their inheritance.

Or give the same amount of money to the brother.

If there is an asset such as business or farm can understand why one may inherit more the others.

Calley X

thorsoak

dresdendave wrote: »

I'm sure many people south of the border will be extremely offended by the quoted sentence. Please edit it and spell English with a capital "E".

As someone who does live south of the border (or should that be Border) I apologise to anyone who might have been offended by my hypothetical comment - no offence was intended to anyone - and the absence of the capital E is due to my touch-typing in a bad light with a dodgy shift key.

:cool:

maman

peachyprice wrote: »

'Bear the brunt' in this case means to be left to deal with the aftermath, it doesn't apply to only financial hardship and suffering it can mean the resulting emotional burden of another's actions.

The daughter would be left to bear the brunt of her brothers hurt, anger, dismay, disillusion that his mother apparently loved and respected him less than his sister. It is a very unkind position of leave the daughter in.

Thanks for taking the time to respond. I suppose she could be upset if her mother showed her obvious favouritism and she cares for her brother.


I suppose I was swayed by the picture OP painted of her DD (moving into the house immediately her mother had passed before even informing her brother). I couldn't see that she was going to be emotionally traumatised if that was her attitude.


Shame OP never came back to explain or give their own views.:)

Fireflyaway

I see a will as a gesture of how you want to be remembered and as a token of love. It doesn't have to be money or something of monetary value. I'd definitely treat all kids equally. I don't want to offend but maybe your daughter is poor because she made bad choices or didn't work as hard as your son? Giving her more does show favoritism. That could leave hard feelings between them and even cause them to question your love for them.
Some years back we knew 2 people whose elderly parents were in the same care home. One worked hard, had a paid for house and savings. They paid £56,000 a year to the home. The other didn't have a house or savings and paid nothing. It was fully funded. So with your situation you could say you are penalizing your son for his hard work.
Who knows, your son might offer his sister to live in the house anyway but I wouldn't deny him the choice.