Would you leave your house to daughter only and not between son and daughter?

peachyprice

Why? Why would you do that? Why would you disinherit your son just because he's worked hard and done quite well for himself in favour of your daughter who has made her own lifestyle choices that have left her living with a pensioner and only working part time? When did your children become less equal?

[Deleted User]

Doodles wrote: »

I think it's very unfair if you didn't give them 50/50.

So what if your son is doing better in life, by not splitting equally is almost penalising him for making good choices in his life.

Your daughter is not a victim of circumstances, she has made different choices and shouldn't benefit any more than your son.

50/50 is fair. Alternatively, you could take out a life insurance policy for a sum of money fairly equal to the house. And then give the house to your daughter, and the life insurance payout to your son.

This is a great suggestion.

I think it is the fairest to split things 50 / 50, however I think it is also unfair to leave your son all of the hassle that will probably happen with him owning half a house with his sister.

I have a friend in the same situation at the moment. Trying to sell a house with a cantankerous sibling has been awful. Many arguments about everything and they both agree to sell. The house is empty and has been for a few years due to the issues and each year the house grows more decrepit and the value drops.

Tabbytabitha

Does your daughter claim any means tested benefits that will be affected by an inheritance?

maman

cjdavies wrote: »

If no discussion before hand and just the letter Daughter will still bear the brunt I imagine.

I really don't understand where this 'bear the brunt' comes into it. Either way the daughter is going to get an inheritance, a sizeable gift from her mother. To me 'bear the brunt' means hardship, suffering???

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

Does your daughter claim any means tested benefits that will be affected by an inheritance?

All we've heard about is state pension which wouldn't be affected but there could be others. So if she inherits then the taxpayer might win too.;)

dresdendave

thorsoak wrote: »

Wow!

and her brother could be the english drug dealing p***do. .

I'm sure many people south of the border will be extremely offended by the quoted sentence. Please edit it and spell English with a capital "E".

KiKi

As others have said: 50/50, or a discussion with your son first. Whilst I agree it's your money, your son might feel that he's been penalised for his life choices. It's easy to think he won't care, but the death of a parent can make even the smallest / least contentious issues suddenly a MASSIVE deal. If my parents left their estate to my sister because she has very little, I'd feel very upset. Not because I need it, but because I've gone without, I've saved, I've made good decisions, whilst she works three days a week and spends money on things she doesn't need.

Soos

Whilst I agree that your possessions and money are yours to do with as you wish, aren't parents supposed to treat their children even-handedly? It does seem hard that because one has achieved more, he will be "penalised for that.
Please don't be cowardly and leave explanations to be read in a letter after your death. That could cause a lifetime rift between your offspring and also change how your son feels about you. I'm sure you wouldn't want that, as you clearly ARE trying to do the best for them both. Have those conversations now, perhaps just with your son initially but try not to phrase things so he feels pushed into agreeing into saying leave it all to his sister. He might feel penalised for being successful!

Red-Squirrel_2

pmlindyloo wrote: »

I'm for the 50/50 split because although the situation for your children are as you describe now there are all kinds of possible changes in the future.

Your daughter may win the lottery, marry a millionaire etc etc

Your son may get married, then divorced and lose half his money, or his job may go belly up.

In short, no one can predict the future for your offspring.

I think this is the best answer and a very good argument in favour of an even split regardless of current financial circumstances.

onomatopoeia99

I'm not a parent, but I have two of them. They have always treated me and my brother equally and absent a seismic shattering of the parent/child relationship, I simply don't understand parents that would do anything else.

Your children have made their choices in life and it appears your daughter is content to only work part time and earn little rather than to have developed a career and seen her income progress over her working life as it appears from your opening post her brother has. I can't see why those choices should entitle her to more generous treatment from you,

Molillie

Please don't differentiate between them. Parents do this with the best intentions, and it is very hurtful at best, punishing a child for trying hard and moving for opportunities, and rewarding the one content to work part-time and not buy a property. At worst, they will seriously fall-out, and will in effect lose their only sibling.
Why should your daughter move into your house as soon as you are dead? I don't really understand this. If it's a large place, could you move yourself to a small and easy-to-run place? This might help you stay independent, and release some cash for you to do with as you wish. If your daughter gives you help as you get older, you can then pay her something as you go along. Of course, she might be caring for her husband at that time.