New Sticky? What To Do When A Partner/Spouse Leaves

kisto

zzzLazyDaisy wrote: »

well my partner has just left. No kids and no financial problems. But the loneliness and isolation is awful. I have lost my social circle while we have been together and although friends and family are supportive they have their own lives/familes.

I'd love any info/ideas on how to rebuild my life .....

I'm sorry to hear about your circumstances. I found (find!) the loneliness and isolation is really hard to deal with. It's over a year since my separation yet I still have days where I feel so alone, and it's so painful.

Here's how I cope:

I found the best way to begin to deal with it is to remember who I was before I got with my ex. What did I enjoy, what was I good at or what were my dreams. In the year since my separation my social life has been busier than at any other stage in my adult life. I've taken courses, joined a running club, I volunteer at my local school (whilst currently unemployed) and I do my best to see friends as often as possible. I try not to be in the house on my own as much as possible because that's when I begin to feel alone. Evenings can be particularly hard, with the kids in bed I feel like I'm rattling around in the house. It's then that I will paint or come on to the PC.

I've also kept a diary since the separation and I can't tell you how valuable it has been. I can let out all my angst, upset, worry, fears without fear of repercussions. Once it's written I can close it up and put it out the way - which feels like leaving it all behind and moving on. When I'm feeling down I can look back over it and see how far I've come.

It will get better, take each day as it comes.

dragoninn

I think this thread is a great idea, and i shall deinitely be checking it out on a regular basis.

emjem_3

I'm glad this thread can be of help!

I am fortunate enough not to be in the position the thread title suggests, but just saw a gap I think needs filling.

((((((((((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))))))))) to everyone that needs them x

emjem_3

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MissMoneypenny

Can I just say, as someone who thought long and hard about going it alone with 2 small children aged 8 and 6, when I did it, it was the best day of my life:D Scary, but living with him we had no hope. At least on my own with the children, we had hope. And guess what - it all works out in the end! Now, I can't even remember why I was so worried.

MissMoneypenny

zzzLazyDaisy wrote: »

well my partner has just left. No kids and no financial problems. But the loneliness and isolation is awful. I have lost my social circle while we have been together and although friends and family are supportive they have their own lives/familes.

I'd love any info/ideas on how to rebuild my life .....

Do an evening class.
Take up a new hobby.
Go and work in your local as a barmaid - everybody talks to the barmaid.

It's a whole wide world out there and life is good fun.

And remember - if your ex didn't appreciate you, that is his loss:D

Mollymop5

MissMoneypenny wrote: »

Can I just say, as someone who thought long and hard about going it alone with 2 small children aged 8 and 6, when I did it, it was the best day of my life:D Scary, but living with him we had no hope. At least on my own with the children, we had hope. And guess what - it all works out in the end! Now, I can't even remember why I was so worried.

I too decided to gone it alone with dd 2yrs and ds 11yrs.It was the best move ever.No regrets! I had made plans and saved for a year prior to leaving.Wish I'd had this site then though as I had to find all the info out myself about benefits ect.

I would like to make one very important point though and that is my local council office were fantastic in rehousing me.They take emotional abuse very seriously I had a meeting to discuss my home life.I thought because I had no physical scars I wouldn't be able to prove anything.They said this wasn't the case and that because of the verbal and emotional abuse I was taking at home this made me more suitable for rehousing quickly.I got more points in the point system and quickly went to the top of the list.My letters ect were sent to my sisters home so my husband couldn't intervene.I only found out about the procedures because I broke down on the phone when I was told they couldn't help as I was suitably housed.If people feel they can open up and talk honestly to people then there are people out there to help

emjem_3

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emjem_3

We have requested for this thread to be made into a sticky.

emjem_3

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