Aligning the Stars

Starmummy

No money news really. £25 of work expenses claimed for that will arrive around pay day.

Busy weekend with parties and plans.

Gearing up for Mr Star to work overseas from the end of the week.

No passport yet.

The weather is gorgeous though.

redofromstart

How annoying on the work wear. My place is the same so I had to invest. Not easy to find things either, even if you have the cash.

Lucifa73

How much warning have they given on the change of dress code? They surely don't expect you all to renew your wardrobes over night?


I think I mentioned we have a very casual policy in my current job but the new place is very formal so I need to do a major shop before mid-April. Luckily my wonderful Hubs has offered to pay a chunk to hep out

Starmummy

Lucifa73 wrote: »

How much warning have they given on the change of dress code? They surely don't expect you all to renew your wardrobes over night?


I think I mentioned we have a very casual policy in my current job but the new place is very formal so I need to do a major shop before mid-April. Luckily my wonderful Hubs has offered to pay a chunk to hep out

"With immediate effect" :mad: I've just taken to wearing the new suit I bought in the sales this month every day. Change up the top and swap out the trousers for a pencil skirt I already own for variety. Arguably it's easier. Work wardrobe is now 1 blazer, 1 pair of trousers, 1 skirt, 1 pencil dress and about 6 shirts/blouses.

It's the least of my worries at the moment. Me and Mr Star seem to be arguing frequently at the moment, about everything and nothing. His job is taking it's toll. But I'd be lying if i blamed the job entirely. He is away from Friday until the end of April. We are going to use the time to take a relationship break. We just can't stand how unhappy we are making each other at the moment.

On paper we are perfect together, our life is perfect, but it's just not enough at the moment, the intimacy and spark is dead. I feel a bit like the walking dead at the moment. Determined to snap out of it and use it as an opportunity to really carve out and decide what I want from life.

We adore each other and whatever happens I know it's all going to be ok. Star Child is oblivious...she is used to Mr Star being away so that's one less thing to worry about in the immediate future.

I can't believe I'm typing this to a load of strangers on the internet.

[Deleted User]

Sorry to hear about your worries at the moment starmummy - I often find it much easier to express my feelings and concerns to people on here vs people in real life, it just seems easier than with face-to-face people that know your family sometimes

Lucifa73

Hi StarM. Sorry to see you and Mr Star are having a tough time. Adjusting to essentially separate lives while he is away must be so hard and you have also had exams to deal with. What does 'relationship break' mean? No contact? On the plus side it sounds like you are talking if you have been able to make that decision and communication, as I have no doubt you know, is key. Take care of yourself x

Starmummy

We aren't splitting up, we just need to press the pause button for a bit. He is away with work from today until the end of April, so we will just have absolutely minimal contact. e.g email each other flight details, let each other know if there is an emergency, but no social chit chat.

Just so we can get our heads a little clearer.
We will be ok, we've just put too much energy into the wrong things of late and not enough into the right things.

In money news, I've been paid. :j
I haven't had any child support in the last 2 months though, despite it being forced by CMS, so my savings haven't really grown at all but at least all bills and commitments have been covered.


Plans for the weekend, Star child is at her dad's on Mother's day so I've inquired about having a SUP lesson to treat myself. I'll pop and see my mum at some point and Star child has swimming. I'm also going to go to a few independent bike shops near me to try out some road bikes. I really must stop putting it off, a bike will help no end with the commute and getting to clubs etc. I love walking but on Tuesdays doing the school run, getting to work and then getting to my swim coach and back means I spend 2 1/2 + hours walking, would be under an hour with a bike leaving time for actually working and cooking dinner and spending time with my family.

Suffolk_lass

I am sorry you are having your issues.

My DH worked abroad until DS was in his early teens - we tried to keep the feel of "dating" when he was home but it is really easy to slip into a domestic situation where he was getting a list of stuff to do and I felt like the laundry-maid and housekeeper. It is hard. You have to be quite self sufficient in any case for the working away thing to work and somewhere there is a balance around involving each other in decisions but not boring each other with trivia. A period apart is a good opportunity to kind of take note (could be a bullet list of stuff you do, or a diary) for you to review and pick out the important bits to share. We muddled through but not without our problems.

Reflection is good. I do hope you really miss each other, in the nicest way.

Starmummy

Well Star Child's Dad never turned up to see her on Sunday, I've still received no response from the dozen missed calls and texts either. Total lack of respect. She wasn't too upset though I took her with me for our first ever paddle boarding experience. We are a family of water babies so I think this could become our new family hobby. It was amazing.
SUP followed by a spin class has totally shredded my thigh muscles though and I'm hobbling today. Hopefully tonight's swim will help recovery.

Still no child maintenance, which is going to leave a very tight budget for the school holidays, some of this will be joint account expenses though.

Mr Star is not really sticking to the no contact rule. He doesn't like it...I did point out that it was kind of the point, he can't give attention only when he is craving it himself. I am trying to stay strong and ignore him as much as I can. I'm working on my own happiness.

Work is busy. I should have an interview for that promotion this week. I feel more nervous than if it was a normal interview. My boss has been getting me to have more input into that side of our team this week though so I hope that is a good sign.

I'm finding myself daydreaming a lot at the moment, moving house, getting myself a car again. i keep bargaining with myself that it wouldn't be bad to get into further debt for these things as it is an investment and my wages are going up. I need to give my head a wobble. This isn't a healthy way of dealing with finances.
I also keep looking at trips away, by myself, I have 5 trips this year. I really do not need another one. Plus I'd like to save up so we can take Star Child long haul again next year.

I need to focus on the big prize.... and maybe set myself little prizes for reaching certain goals. I'll have more of a think along these lines later this week.

Starmummy

I've updated my signature. I'm so close to being in the 9's debt wise...I'm going to make that my goal for the next month. In 4 weeks time I shall be in the 9k's.

My 'net worth' is -£7,790
slowly getting to my debt neutral target. I WILL hit it by the end of 2019!