Childless old people

Pollycat

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

Your grandparents are fortunate still having each other in their 80s - when one of them dies they may feel differently about things.

A friend of mine's Aunt is in her mid 80s.
Her husband of many years died recently and she's had a new lease of life - always going out shopping, lunching and basically enjoying life to the full.

Tabbytabitha

NeilCr wrote: »

Some really interesting information here.

https://www.ageuk.org.uk/globalassets/age-uk/documents/reports-and-publications/later_life_uk_factsheet.pdf

I can't remember who (may have been Billy Connolly) but a well known comedian once said that he would love another ten years added to his life but could he have them now rather than at age 80.

This strikes me as the most relevant point to the currentddiscussion -

"Healthy life expectancy
!!!61623; The healthy life expectancy of people living in England is 64.0 years for women and 63.4
years for men.80
!!!61623; At age 65, men in England can expect to live on average another 10.6 years in good health.
Women can expect to live 11.5 years in good health. For both sexes, this constitutes just
under 60% of their expected remaining life span."

Money_maker

Current UK estimates from the Office for National Statistics for female life expectancy at birth
are 82.8 years and 79.1 years for men.68
!!!61623; UK life expectancy estimates at the age of 65 are 85.9 for women and 83.4 for men.69
!!!61623; In England, men can now expect to live for a further 19 years at age 65, 12 years at 75, 6 years
at 85 and 3 years at 95. Women can expect to live for a further 21 years at age 65, 13 years at
75, 7 years at 85, and 3 years at 95

svain

I dont really see the difference of whether you have children or not. I would not be giving my children the choice of becoming my carer, messenger, cook, taxi driver etc. They have lives to iive and life can be very short for some.

I am self-employed, heading towards my 50's and my plan is to work well past retirement. Full-time retirement by choice is not on my radar at all. Its the biggest enemy to our health imo. Ive never made sense of how people literally stop the day after retirement.
For the sake of my sanity, health and soul i intend to keep working for as long as i am able. It is a better lifestyle imo and i believe will give me the best chance of staying healthy for as long as possible.

At the point i am unable to do the above i/we will be selling up and finding the nicest sheltered/warden assisted/retirement accommodation .... something with people, communal area, activities etc.

I wont make the mistake as others before me of staying in the home until they felt unable/too old to move. I will be making the move much earlier, while i am still able to choose what, where and how i want to live.

Being stuck at home alone for hours/days at a time with just the TV as company is a fate worse than death. Having children to pop in for half hour daily (if you are very lucky), a neighbour to do your shopping (if you're very lucky) and the occasional phone call or visit from friends will not change that.

For many homeowners this whole dilemma can be avoided by making brave decisions early enough to not need to rely on children's care.

Tabbytabitha

Pollycat wrote: »

A friend of mine's Aunt is in her mid 80s.
Her husband of many years died recently and she's had a new lease of life - always going out shopping, lunching and basically enjoying life to the full.

When you've been widowed you have to do things to occupy your time - that isn't necessarily enjoying life to the full, whatever it looks like to an outsider.

Red-Squirrel_2

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

Your grandparents are fortunate still having each other in their 80s - when one of them dies they may feel differently about things.

I feel reasonably confident they will still want to live. :cool:

Its massively ageist to go on about how there's nothing to live for after a certain age, isn't it? Nobody would suggest it would be normal and desirable for a 50 year old widow or widower to feel they had reached the end of their life and their was no point going on.

Red-Squirrel_2

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

When you've been widowed you have to do things to occupy your time - that isn't necessarily enjoying life to the full, whatever it looks like to an outsider.

Oh honestly, are you for real?

What about people who never married? Do they spend their whole lives just 'occupying their time'?

NeilCr

svain wrote: »

I dont really see the difference of whether you have children or not. I would not be giving my children the choice of becoming my carer, messenger, cook, taxi driver etc. They have lives to iive and life can be very short for some.

I am self-employed, heading towards my 50's and my plan is to work well past retirement. Full-time retirement by choice is not on my radar at all. Its the biggest enemy to our health imo. Ive never made sense of how people literally stop the day after retirement.
For the sake of my sanity, health and soul i intend to keep working for as long as i am able. It is a better lifestyle imo and i believe will give me the best chance of staying healthy for as long as possible.

At the point i am unable to do the above i will be selling up and finding the nicest sheltered/warden assisted/retirement accommodation .... something with people, communal area, activities etc. I wont make the mistake as my grandparents of staying in the family home until they felt unable/too old to move. I will be making the move much earlier, while i am still able to choose and hopefully, whilst still active

Being stuck at home alone for hours/days at a time with just the TV as company is a fate worse than death. Having children to pop in for half hour daily (if you are very lucky), a neighbour to do your shopping (if you're very lucky) and the occasional phone call or visit from friends will not change that.

For many homeowners this whole dilemma can be avoided by making brave decisions early enough to not need to rely on children's care.

While I realise that we all have our own takes on life I do think things are less black and white than you suggest.

I retired early (age 55) and yes it does take adjustment to suddenly not having work/your colleagues around. It is weird but the trick is to have something lined up to replace it. I'd joined my local gym and the chess club and was studying for my volunteering. Ten years on still using the gym (have made some good friends there) and am back volunteering after a break (ditto re friends). The chess fell by the wayside but two out of three isn't bad!. Oh and I met my partner through the volunteering.

I do have days at home watching the TV (doing it now) but these are balanced out by being out and about - gym, volunteering, lunching with friends etc. And, sometimes, the days in are nice. I love my Sundays at home - decent lunch, good bottle of wine sprawled in front of TV sport!

Ten years on - best thing I ever did was to retire early and to the coast, too! I love my lifestyle - envied by most of my friends still at work

svain

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

Oh honestly, are you for real?

What about people who never married? Do they spend their whole lives just 'occupying their time'?

Surely you can understand why there may be a difference though?

LavenderBee

I'm 31, married and expecting my first child - so I hope that I will have grown up offspring by the time I'm "old"! Except my mum is currently looking after elderly relatives, and quite frankly she can only do it because she doesn't work and even then it's a huge commitment. Said relatives still have each other, and are at the stage of health where they struggle to live with each other, but they couldn't manage without each other either. They also won't accept outside help even though they are eligible for it and have the finances in place.

Watching it all has made me promise myself that by the age of 70, I will drag DH kicking and screaming with me to move into a nice retirement flat, where you can ask for help if you need it, socialise if you want to, or not. If our offspring aren't around and one of us shuffles off our mortal coil before the other, then hopefully there will be some sort of support mechanism in place. Married or single, I think I'd do that anyway (I like the idea of outings to the garden centre on a minibus on a Wednesday morning and having all the utilities taken care of already...)