Childless old people

Red-Squirrel_2

ceecee1 wrote: »

I wonder this - I am 60, childless and when my mum has gone will have no family.
If I was admitted to hospital for some reason - who would I tell, who would bring me clothes or money etc.
I worry about turning into an old lady who can't cope and lives in a dirty run down house. I am sort of hoping to get into retirement housing when I am in my 70s so that I have people around me, but as I own my property I am not sure if I would be accepted

Don't you have friends?

Sea_Shell

What if you outlive your friends though?

Browntoa

Anchor sheltered housing , independent living but other people around and emergency phone system .

All with on site wardens who keep an eye out

Red-Squirrel_2

Sea_Shell wrote: »

What if you outlive your friends though?

There's no time limit on how long you can keep making new ones. Its harder if you are less mobile and restricted by health/disability, but I don't think anybody should just be relying on family for all their needs in their old age, or at any age actually.

hello007007

I have three wonderful children. It was the best decision I made having children. I totally understand why some people are childless and I respect their decision. There are positives and negatives on both sides.

I am not a social person and my family is my world. Before I had children I never thought they would be a comfort to me. I thought I would raise them and they would simply fly the nest. I didn't have children so they would look after me in old age, nothing was further in my mind as I was young when I had them. i am now 33 and starting to think about the future because before I lived in the moment.

I would hate to be the old grandmother who is a burden on her family. I want them to enjoy life and look after their own families however, I do live in a mixed culture where the elderly live with family. My parents are very independent and don't need care yet. In the long run I hope to buy a house next to theirs and live with/next to them. In my religion it considered one of the best deeds one can do - to look after ones parents in old age.

I understand times are changing. When I am older, I too would like to live in a house next to my family, if that makes sense. So I can help with things like childcare/cooking and my family can help with gardening etc... This way, we are all happy and live independent but also together, if that makes sense. If I didn't have family depending upon my neighbours I don't see why living in such a way would not be possible. good neighbours are a blessing.

I just don't think the council is going to look after me well in old aged well - unless maybe I had money. I think maybe it's a lottery of where you live and more importantly who your contact at the council is. TBH I would hate to relay on the council when I will be most in need. I do think family, neighours and friends will be far more caring.

I know of a very sad case where the council once separated an elderly mother and daughter due to money reasons.
My friend is part of a voluntary group who visits old people home as part of the local Mosque project - to give companionship to elderly people and she has told me many stories of how a lot of the folks are left all year around alone. The family only come to visit on special occasions like Xmas or birthdays. It makes me so upset and even angry when I hear things like this - I believe the elderly should be loved all year around. Our society has really gone down the pan on this issue.

I would love to hear how other people are coping or what people have planned for the future.

Red-Squirrel_2

hello007007 wrote: »

I totally understand why some people are childless and I respect their decision.

You do know that its not always a decision don't you? :cool:

pollypenny

My aunt is childless, widowed and can barely see, macular degeneration.

Unfortunately, she lives exactly 300 miles away from me. She has resisted every effort I have made to help her, in spite of asking me to do things before hand.

She will not move into sheltered housing, will not go to the day centre. Then she will ring me and say she has had a letter which she is unable to read. She does now have a cleaner, but she put the phone down on her on one occasion and couldn!!!8217;t believe when I suggested she apologise!

hazyjo

If you're so old that you've outlived all your friends, there's no guarantee you won't have outlived your children too.


I haven't got kids (but my OH has) - but I do have my nieces and nephew to visit me (hopefully), and lots of friends, and my mum will prob outlive us all lol!

Pollycat

Childless old people

OP
Can you please define 'old'.

Robisere

Keep_pedalling wrote: »

We are in the fortunate position of having children, but under no circumstances am I going to lumber them with looking after us.

Absolutely! We could ask ds and dd to do anything for us and they will do it, but we would never ask them to care for us in that way. They have lives to lead and children of their own.