Childless old people

AubreyMac

NeilCr wrote: »

Well it might if you have friends of different ages. My best female friend is 48 and another is mid 50s. I am 64 and many of my friends (including my partner) are in my age group but I have others both older (80s) and younger. I never really get that your friends all have to be your age.

Neither do I. Most of my closest friends are of similar age to my mother.


I do have friends my own age but they tend to have partners or young children. And with that comes a higher chance of them cancelling on me which is understandable but with older friends they are more available and reliable and also more able to afford a better meal rather than be on a budget.

Tabbytabitha

suki1964 wrote: »

When you are 55, please do come back and tell us how old you are feeling:rotfl:

Im not far off 55, Ive got another 12 years to go before I can claim a pension so I certainly am not classed as old, either in my eyes nor the governments

I still go out and party, I can still dance all night and get up for my work in the morning. Im perfectly capable of running around after the grandkids, running a home, caring for my mother and work. I certainly haven't morphed into a beige nonentity twiddling my pearls whilst knitting

Oh to be called middle aged at 35. If anyone had called me that at that age id have decked them 35 was the start of my life, old enough to know better, but young enough to get out there and do what I liked with the money behind me that I could afford to

I don't have children, my husband does. One is in Australia, the other is married and has her own family. Luckily at 55 I'm still perfectly capable of wiping my own bum. But what I am doing is saving for my old age so that I can afford the care I need without relying on the state.

I agree with most of that but not with your stereotypical description of someone you consider to be old.

Tabbytabitha

NeilCr wrote: »

Well it might if you have friends of different ages. My best female friend is 48 and another is mid 50s. I am 64 and many of my friends (including my partner) are in my age group but I have others both older (80s) and younger. I never really get that your friends all have to be your age.

I live on my own. I am in a relationship - but we do our own thing a lot of the time. We have talked about living closer but I'd be surprised if we ever get round to it. I keep active I use the gym and volunteer and that means I meet new people and try new things. These days I tend to live in the moment and not worry about anything till it happens.

I am financially secure so I guess somewhere down the line I might end up in some sort of retirement flat/complex so there is someone to look out for me. But that is in the future and I intend having a good time for as long as I can

Perhaps it is the younger people who worry about it more. As you get older you get more relaxed about things (well I do) and while keeping an eye to the longer term enjoy the present.

I wasn't really thinking about having friends the same age and dying off, just that your personal situation at 80 could well be different from what it was 20 years earlier.

Tigsteroonie

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

I guess the same question could be asked by couples who are estranged from their children

Or even those who have a child, but the child develops significant disabilities which mean they cannot live independently, let alone help ageing parents ...

So middle-age is 55? Woohoo, I'm not there yet! Though I think my own parents hit middle age at around 65. They based it on still having at least one living parent themselves meant they couldn't be old

As for making friends in old age, my grandmother got bored of it. She'd made friends, then they'd die. So she made more friends, then they died. She lived into her 90s!

Mr_Singleton

AubreyMac wrote: »

I'm not likely to have kids and being the youngest in my family, I may end up being totally alone in old age. This isn't a problem while I'm fit and able

What an interedting question!

How much money/assets do you have?

Hard_Up_Hester

I'm 66 and I retired last year, I help my children with childcare and pet sitting, they help me with things I need help with.
I recently had a conversation with my daughter about this sort of thing, she assured me that she will care for my OH if I die first as she believes I am the glue that holds his life together, he is her step dad and she loves him dearly. When I asked who would look after me she laughed and said that I would sort myself out and not ask for help.

NeilCr

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

I wasn't really thinking about having friends the same age and dying off, just that your personal situation at 80 could well be different from what it was 20 years earlier.

But you'd still have your friends. Sorry. Not quite getting this.

Could you explain further?

Pollycat

AubreyMac wrote: »

To answer the question of what I call old, I'd say 55 onwards is old. But in relation to this particular thread, I'm talking about when you're old enough to need a care home (picture zimmer frames and stairlifts) and need help in life admin work (which generally is not 55). And what's the average age of care home residents? 75ish?

OMG! :eek:

I've got a friend who's just the wrong side of 80 who meets us in the pub twice a week, walking a mile out and back home.
He drives and is still one of the smartest - in dress and mind - men I know.

Maybe some people are old at 55 because they have an old outlook.

PasturesNew

NeilCr wrote: »

But you'd still have your friends. Sorry. Not quite getting this.

Could you explain further?

Not everybody has friends to start with.

Friends die off. Friends move away to be "closer to family".
Older people start to find it hard to leave the house to get out to things, so lose friendships. "Friends" can't go the extra mile and go out of their way to visit them as they're getting older/less mobile themselves.

Friends have to live closer to you for you to keep in touch.

Friends might have an OH they are caring for, so drop off the scene over the span of 5-10 years ... and as you've not got a car and aren't all that mobile you'll just cease to remain in contact.

Those with families are "removed" from the circle of people as they get more involved in arrangements made for them by their families.

Your "new friends" at the local OAP lunch club "aren't really your cup of tea" and you only go for a quick chat, a hot meal and because there's a minibus laid on .... and a lot of those have families etc at home anyway. They are not looking to "make new friends", but to "get out of the house for 2 hours".

Tabbytabitha

Pollycat wrote: »

OMG! :eek:

I've got a friend who's just the wrong side of 80 who meets us in the pub twice a week, walking a mile out and back home.
He drives and is still one of the smartest - in dress and mind - men I know.

Maybe some people are old at 55 because they have an old outlook.

Being active, smart or whatever doesn't mean that you're not old. It just means you're an active, smart old person.