Prosperous soul in the making

girlatplay

I find it very stressful when I'm climbing over stuff in the flat.  I'm a naturally untidy person but I struggle to cope when there is stuff everywhere.  Once you get more cleared away I think things will feel easier for you.

Tahlullah.H

savingholmes said:

Thanks EH

While I was out and about today I came across this

Lest we forget.

Live on...

MovingForwards

You've done really well and if you can sort things into keep / dispose piles, that will make it easier. Tackle the piles and put away, or sell / giveaway depending on which you're working on at the time.

Seems like you'll be in your home for Christmas.

savingholmes

girlatplay said:

I find it very stressful when I'm climbing over stuff in the flat.  I'm a naturally untidy person but I struggle to cope when there is stuff everywhere.  Once you get more cleared away I think things will feel easier for you.

Thanks - I can so relate to that. I'm naturally messy but want to become more organised. Part of that is giving each space a purpose - and preferably only 1 or 2 purposes per space. 

Ex is coming back tonight to pick up stuff he forgot - and to drop off his signed papers - so I can get mine signed and witnessed and then send everything off tomorrow. It's likely to take 5-10 days from when the solicitor receives them so slight delay on completion. Better interest rate on the delayed days... Have to take my wins where I can find them. 

I want to go and pick up some furniture - but want him back out the house before I go and want to help him find stuff as part of minimising the risk of lots of repeat visits to collect stuff. He's due around 6pm. He wants to back out of paying the cleaner this week - which is probably fair - just not in my budget yet. I might see if he wants to do a final reading for gas and elec now rather than Friday.

I've knocked about 8 pages off my report... quite a way to go but taking a break and seeing what ends up happening today with Ex. I bought something off Bay that I would need to travel 90 mins each way to collect - so need to know if it is doable tonight or not. Alternatively - about 20 minutes away - I got offered a lit corner unit for free so plan to collect it and then upcycle it at some point.

savingholmes

Well Ex came - but just realised he didn't date one of his forms. Sent him a text (roll eyes). Ex has agreed to pay the cleaner still this week and stick to Friday as the bill changeover date - on the basis that DD is still part living here so that's a relief. He also paid his half of the court fee.

I'm going to bingo with a recently widowed neighbour one day next week - that will be a new experience for me. I don't intend to go regularly but I thought I could go for a one off. She had free guest ticket she'd won - so I don't even have to pay anything. She has some enamel paints and pebbles she's going to let me have - and she's going to teach me how to use a sewing machine... The later two are more my thing but trying to step out of my comfort zone and be supportive. 

Picking up at least one piece of furniture tomorrow. 

The dog's new lead came so took her for a short walk. Ironically it was a lot more comfortable than the last and came with a free collar, bowl and doggy bag holder. I'll keep it here for when Ex occasionally brings her back. In theory I'm due to have her a part day towards the end of November and again potentially at some point over Xmas.

DD has bought a brand new phone and I introduced her to £co. I'm hoping she used the link and got cashback... If she did - I will then get £30 and she'll get £10 plus whatever she earns from the phone contract. She's also planning to buy herself a 'fruit' watch. I've said she has to pay a min of £50 towards the CTax from Dec. Just hope no-one tells her about the 10 month thing...  

MovingForwards

I always used to put coloured arrows to point where people had to sign and date things. It's good ex is contributing, all helps with your budgets.

Bingo is more about the social aspect, winning is a bonus. Learn as much from the neighbour as you can, it will all help towards getting the shack up and running in time.

If she does discover the 10m thing, you're being generous by having a lower amount over 12....

MuffinTops

I've managed to catch up on the last 10 pages of your life and it's really going on for you.  You've done so well getting everything organised.

It's so exhausting going through house things during a break up.  Mine was different to yours, probably much easier as we didn't have children etc, but I remember how tiring it was.

I love the sound of your craft spaces and that you'll have a different space for the different things you want to do.  I also love using resin, and working with art so I completely understand your excitement.

Happy new life once your divorce is finalised.  It'll be such an adventure and getting to know yourself from an individual perspective is wonderful.

savingholmes

Thanks EH and MuffinTops - welcome!! Agree re Ctax. MT the resin pouring is on my wishlist. Please tell me more...

Well I have a potential completion date of 24/11 and confirmation of how much to pay.

DD is ill. Ex brought her back which was great but took dog while I was out at counselling 2 days earlier than agreed. I told him I was appalled and he's agreed to leave her with me a few hours on Saturday. I have Friday to Tuesday off so had hoped to fit in another park walk.

I had a conversation re new will with c00p but now debating whether to put money in trust and set conditions or keep it simple. £200 diff in cost. Regardless he thinks it could take 4-6 weeks to finalise will which seems ridiculous. Thing is with life insurance and it now coming to kids they could inherit big numbers if I die 'young'. I said I would ring back tomorrow.

I picked up a writing bureau £25 yesterday to upcycle. I am getting another Friday £20. I got 2 of the 4 cube k@11@x units £25 for 2 (bargain and 2 cubes had doors and 1 cube X 2 drawers) and have used them to support my glass desk top for now. I hope to paint that room Friday before finalising room layout.

While FB is a new temptation zone I am starting to understand what sells and how to price so hopefully it will balance out soon.

I contacted pension co about changing my death benefit. Awaiting form but told them wishes by email anyway.

There's more but going to sleep now

MovingForwards

Would ex agree to some form of joint custody of her? Maybe a weekly overnight stay or something, sell it to your ex that he gets a night or two of freedom without worrying MIL is responsible for the dog.

That price doesn't seem enough for a proper trust to be set up, I've only done a few and they were thousands, not hundreds. Keep it simple, don't add complications.

Your purchases sound great.

Hope DD feels better soon and you're getting enough rest.

EssexHebridean

I was going to suggest joint custody for the dog as well - although of course that will also increase your costs on food, insurance, vets bills etc, so you'd need to balance how that fits with your new financial situation too. 

Great furniture bargains as well - just urge a little caution to maybe press pause on buying too much more until a) you've really worked out how the house is going to work as "your house" not "our house" and b) you've done some of the project upcycle pieces you've already got! You're at risk of ending up with a lot of stuff on your To Do list which, with plenty of other stuff, some quite heavy, could get pretty overwhelming. (And also might risk using "stuff" and indeed doing stuff to deal with the emotional side of finding your new normal as just you, rather than You = Ex's wife.)