Prosperous soul in the making

savingholmes

Waves at GAP - we must have cross posted.

I've just thrown out 2 pairs of DS's old shoes and relegated a pair to the garage. I 'found' some boots in the garage - pretty much unworn - that if I remember rightly didn't fit my feet quite right before (may pinch) - but will try them again and see how I get on. I was also reminded of some pretty high thick heeled blue boots I've got - that are typically slightly on the big side but they will be great for special occasions (where you don't walk far LOL).

I've also switched on a lava lamp but it doesn't appear to be doing its thing which is a shame as it's the first time in use... I bought this time last year - so not sure I can take back to bnm. I still have the box though. I've found at least one set of my pretty outdoor white lights.

I wanted to do more but DD was moaning and asked me to do it while she wasn't around. 

Scottiedog_3

@savingholmes I've just finished reading your diary. What an epic struggle you have had! I'm full of admiration for you. My money problems - mainly caused by sick animals - seem very petty in comparison. The only "person" I worry about is the dog. You are very carefully neutral about your former MIL but will the dog be OK with her?
Lots of luck with this new stage in your journey. You deserve to flourish, as do your children.

savingholmes

Dear diary and all

I realised I completely glossed over - that I sent the conveyancer £1084 to complete - and that I was able to do that while staying debt neutral. I don't think I take enough time to celebrate my achievements. This covered the balance of what I was paying Ex and their fees.

This month I expect to pay another £450ish to divorce lawyer (budgeted) and possibly up to another £200ish (would need part of EF but would remain debt neutral) if the other property lawyer I spoke to there charges me but she said she couldn't act for me so I'm hoping it will be less. I also have £100 budgeted for my will and £50 for tyre tracking and £100 for if I get my boiler serviced this month instead of next.

So I think all things considered - I am doing pretty well. It helped that this month's mortgage payment was still Interest only at £130 - my new mortgage doesn't kick in until next month.

I've budgeted about £200 for xmas and birthdays - which is £50 each for the 2 kids, £50 for DS birthday and max £50 between anyone else (next 2 months worth). I bought my best friend some one off cards from 3tsy today which I think she will love. She has been a huge support - but even with postage her pressie was  less than £9. Most of my xmas spend is due to come out of next month's pay. I'll buy some wrap ups for DD on Friday - and then she'll have the balance as cash.

My car told me today I am due a service within a month - so will check with main dealer as I thought I serviced it last year so it shouldn't need one. I have a service plan that I pay monthly for but it doesn't include consumables so I always feel stung by those... If it does need a service - I may get them to do that, the cam belt and water pump all in one. Worst case I'd use my 0% on purchases over £150 card. I've budgeted it in Jan rather than Dec... or I could just wait until after Jan payday anyway. (Or pay the equivalent off the card with the earliest 0% finish date).

MovingForwards

Cats are usually independent and you may be surprised when the home dynamic changes as your cat might have a personality change. Mine went from being shy and quiet to a diva who is self-teaching to be a cat.

YT is great for learning things and you will pick it all up, we can all see how determined you are to be independent.

You did mention in your diary about the last car service, perhaps it would be worth a look and note it in a paper diary ready for next time.

Well done with budgeting. You're no longer being held back and can only continue to grow from here!

girlatplay

My car needs serviced every year to keep it in warranty (for 5 years) but it's a big service one year and a mini service the next, and so on.  Don't get ripped off.

leftatthetrafficlights

savingholmes said:

Dear diary and all

I realised I completely glossed over - that I sent the conveyancer £1084 to complete - and that I was able to do that while staying debt neutral. I don't think I take enough time to celebrate my achievements. This covered the balance of what I was paying Ex and their fees.

That's amazing SH!! 🙌 

EssexHebridean

Woo hoo - what an achievement to be able to transfer the balance to complete and still stay debt neutral - well done you! That is certainly one to celebrate! 

You sounds very organised for Christmas and birthdays coming up too - so another well done there. It makes such a difference knowing things are covered and that the money is sitting there doesn't it! 

savingholmes

Scottiedog_3 said:

@savingholmes I've just finished reading your diary. What an epic struggle you have had! I'm full of admiration for you. My money problems - mainly caused by sick animals - seem very petty in comparison. The only "person" I worry about is the dog. You are very carefully neutral about your former MIL but will the dog be OK with her?
Lots of luck with this new stage in your journey. You deserve to flourish, as do your children.

@Scottiedog_3

I am very impressed you made it to the end! Thank you for caring enough to read - hope it helps you.

I worry about the dog too but I have to let her go. I kept the roof over my head - and felt I had to give Ex something that mattered to him... She slept with him  slept on his bed 

Although it is hard paying Ex out and giving him half of one pension - he could have agitated for more and had he done that I'd have struggled to have any kind of relationship with him in future. He knew that - and TBF valued the chance of still being part of my wider family's life more than extracting every last penny. Buying him out was not without risk though - as the mortgage valuation was £7K below the equivalent of what I offered him. But I figure if I'd moved - I'd easily have spent one year's mortgage payments or more moving and getting things how I wanted. Although DD can be challenging - (she'd say the same about me) we love each other - and I wanted to keep stability for her too.

I still can't get over how much good stuff he left in the house. Having said that I also can't get over how much crap he left so I suppose we're even. Need to find out what chemicals the tip will accept and see where I can take butane gas canister - we have about 4 dangerously rusty. Bird skeletons and feathers anyone? He's left every oil he's ever used!!??? And he said I was the hoarder!! I am definitely getting rid of the metal shed - it's awful and has condensation on the inside!! The doors are very hard to open and shut. He was apparently supposed to have done some kind of damp proof course below the flags but didn't... hmm... enough said

I found a brand new still in box roller blind!!? May try fabric paints on it as I don't like it - could have been my fault it ended up in the shed. Or just put it on FB and see if it sells. I found other brand new stuff in the shed - like extendable paint poles, oven gloves???? - and my best find of all some crystal finials. I've found 3 sets of castors but need 4. Still hoping another one turns up... I always thought the b0rr0wers lived in our house - but I am starting to think Ex chucked everything I bought into the shed - I could then never find it - so bought something new...

I've given up on the shed for now - it was a bit too grim. Not eaten properly today despite having been up at 6.30am for DD. Going to make some food and then see whether I can make better sense of the garage! Ex has an oil / chemical collection going on in there too. 
 

savingholmes

MovingForwards said:

Cats are usually independent and you may be surprised when the home dynamic changes as your cat might have a personality change. Mine went from being shy and quiet to a diva who is self-teaching to be a cat.

YT is great for learning things and you will pick it all up, we can all see how determined you are to be independent.

You did mention in your diary about the last car service, perhaps it would be worth a look and note it in a paper diary ready for next time.

Well done with budgeting. You're no longer being held back and can only continue to grow from here!

You're right my cat is much nicer and friendlier without the dog around. I will enjoy learning new things - I love a challenge. I definitely need to investigate the car situation. 

With the budget it's lovely knowing that I only answer to me (and you guys) and that I don't have a saboteur spending my hard won cash. Ex left lots of food in the other freezer - mostly veg - but still it helps. Some pasta too... Sadly he found and rescued the whisky at the weekend.

girlatplay said:

My car needs serviced every year to keep it in warranty (for 5 years) but it's a big service one year and a mini service the next, and so on.  Don't get ripped off.

I thought my car was every 20,000 miles that's why I'm confused. But yes I need to investigate. It got through its MOT so presumably is okay. I do have a plan that should cover the cost but still.... I need to ring them and check things out... It's one of those 'the car computer said...'

leftatthetrafficlights said:

savingholmes said:

Dear diary and all

I realised I completely glossed over - that I sent the conveyancer £1084 to complete - and that I was able to do that while staying debt neutral. I don't think I take enough time to celebrate my achievements. This covered the balance of what I was paying Ex and their fees.

That's amazing SH!! 🙌 

Thank you. It's lovely having a cheering section.

EssexHebridean said:

Woo hoo - what an achievement to be able to transfer the balance to complete and still stay debt neutral - well done you! That is certainly one to celebrate! 

You sounds very organised for Christmas and birthdays coming up too - so another well done there. It makes such a difference knowing things are covered and that the money is sitting there doesn't it! 

I am very grateful for the money I managed to save in the last few months - it has taken such pressure off. I think also I'm using this situation to press the reset button on giving. I have been generous to a fault (i.e. debt) in the past - and now have a little mantra - 'why would I go in debt for something they wouldn't/shouldn't?' Ex is desperate to stay part of my wider family so still has them on his present list - his family are blanking me currently - so I've crossed his side off the gift list for now as I think even if I sent something unless it was £ they'd give it away orf bin it. Silver linings. 

EssexHebridean

I should think they are crossed off if they're basically playing the "I'm not talking to you!" game - quite right too!

Might your car be "Every 20,000 miles OR 12 months? If so that could explain it, but unless there is a warranty to be considered I'd not worry about getting it done to the letter. Both of ours will now get kept for a god many years so we've taken the view that as long as they don't run massively over either the miles OR years, it'll be fine. Mine didn't get one last year as far as I can think so I'll probably get Neil to do it when he MoT's her in February (at which point she will mostly likely still be under on the mileage). MrEH's had a service before we got her in August so she'll be waiting until that time next year, at which stage she will most likely be a bit over on miles. 

On the butane canisters - if they are the larger ones you could try ringing your local supplier of such things as it may be there will collect them from you without charging, particularly if any of them are still any good (Although it sounds like they may not be). otherwise maybe ask the local council if they have facilities for dealing with such things?