My journey to a debt free life

Onebrokelady

Willowtree222 said:

That isn’t good waiting in the cold and it won’t help your leg either. X

I did eventually have a really hot shower 😀

milann

You’ve had it tough since you contracted Covid OBL. Signature figures are looking good 👍

Cherryfudge

Onebrokelady said:

I've suggested I visit her at home and will take cakes etc,the only problem is my Dad is always there and tends to take over the conversation because she is quiet and doesn't say much. Sadly there isn't a park or anywhere within walking distance of where she lives

Oh dear, not an easy one. So far all I've come up with is a) buy your Dad a bag of extra tough toffees so his teeth stick together and he can't interrupt or b) if he's the practical type, ask him if he can help with such and such a job (or make you a favourite recipe if he's a cook) and hope it keeps him out of the way for a while.

Not much help, I know.

Does she travel by bus? Could you do a scenic tour somewhere? Mind you, seeing the weather today, I don't think it's going to be the weather for sight seeing, and I'd imagine bus travel might be tiring in itself.

Another way of spending time and perhaps helping her stay engaged, might be to go through old photos together. Again your Dad might take over (is there a Men's Shed or similar you could get him involved in?).

If your parents have Wi-fi, there are a number of places doing WI-type things online, often free, and there might be something you could 'attend' together.

A friend who is carer for his (elderly) mother also has Alexa set up so she can call for help etc, which is something that might be worth considering. I turned off my Alexa and never turned it on again because it was getting in the way, but I can see that something like that can help people get access to all sorts of interesting and supportive things and again, might be a way of keeping your Mum engaged. I'm also fairly sure I've come across an 'adopt-a-granny scheme somewhere. I know your Mum has family but there may be kids who would like a 'granny' to phone...

Our local library has a scheme whereby the staff choose books for people who can't get in to the library, and deliver them. The staff are also trained so they can get help if the person doesn't seem to be doing so well - and it's all social contact for those receiving the books.

Quite a scattergun lot of ideas and I can see your Dad might sabotage some but I'll put them here just in case any are useful to your or anyone else.

Onebrokelady

Thanks for the ideas Cherry. I can quite categorically say that my Mum wouldn't go for any of those 😟 she doesn't do the internet or people to be honest. Dad is not able to stand for long enough to do a lot so he either watches telly or goes on his computer,he doesn't really know what he's doing though and has broken his iPad because he threw it across the room one day when he couldn't log on it . He's not sabotaging as such but is one of those people who can't sit in companionable silence so he feels like he has to be making conversation all the time if your visiting then mum just doesn't say anything. She also gets annoyed with him for some of the things he is talking about so I can see her getting agitated,last time I visited I was only there about an hour before it was made clear to me that she had had enough and wanted me to leave. He would sit and talk all day if you let him which I don't mind but it annoys my mum so it makes for a tense visit  

milann

It’s a tricky one re your mum and dad. Is she interested in craft….could you start a project together. 

Seasidegal58

Oh poor you OBL - I'm so sorry that you're going through the wars at the moment healthwise. ☹️  Perhaps do what you have suggested and book a doctor's  appointment. As you say you can always cancel nearer the time if you're feeling better. 

Re your mum - @Cherryfudge's ideas are excellent, but as you say if your mum is not really a people person the choices for her are limited. I do hope you find some resolution. ☹️

Cherryfudge

It does sound fraught with difficulties. Hard work for you too.

Onebrokelady

milann said:

It’s a tricky one re your mum and dad. Is she interested in craft….could you start a project together. 

She's not interested in crafts,she used to knit but doesn't now because it hurts her hands, she loves gardening but again can't do that because she finds it too strenuous 
She isn't a joining in kind of person really. Her average day goes like this
Get up showered and dressed
Breakfast
House work which gets done no matter how bad she feels, you could eat your dinner off the floor in her house
Coffee break 
Reading books or magazines or doing crosswords 
Tea
Asleep on the settee around 7 pm until bedtime then off to bed 
She goes out on a Wednesday afternoon to get her nails done 
They go shopping every Thursday afternoon and have tea at the pub
Every other Saturday she meets me in town 
My sisters daughters visit a couple of times a month, one of them does her garden for her and the other cuts her hair 

Onebrokelady

Seasidegal58 said:

Oh poor you OBL - I'm so sorry that you're going through the wars at the moment healthwise. ☹️  Perhaps do what you have suggested and book a doctor's  appointment. As you say you can always cancel nearer the time if you're feeling better. 

Re your mum - @Cherryfudge's ideas are excellent, but as you say if your mum is not really a people person the choices for her are limited. I do hope you find some resolution. ☹️

Thanks SSG, I tried to book an appointment online but it wouldn't work so I will phone them tomorrow 🙄 

Onebrokelady

Cherryfudge said:

It does sound fraught with difficulties. Hard work for you too.

It is hard work interacting with her nowadays, she is a lovely person but just has no interest in anything, she doesn't go anywhere or do anything to have anything to talk about now. My dad can strike up a conversation about anything and I find him quite easy to talk to if he is on his own. My mum has the same questions each time I see her and once I've talked about them we run out of things to say 🤷‍♀️ I think that's why she liked meeting in town because we would be walking round the shops looking at things so had something to talk about