Things can only get better

Sun_Addict

milann there hasn't been much activity on the FB group in the last couple of weeks or so. 

I've decided that if the Ibiza holiday gets cancelled, which I'm pretty certain it will, I'm going to swap to Greece. I've been thinking about it for a while and after seeing something on This Morning today it decided it for me. Obviously this is subject to Greece still being on the green list next week. I've picked a hotel as you need to be have made a decision where you want to go when Jet2 ring. I need to get away for the good of my mental health more than anything, I need a change of scenery. There is more risk to my mental health being affected than there is anything virus related. I've never had problems with it before ever in my life but I can feel myself rapidly going downhill.  It will be lovely to get away and just be somewhere different for a week.

Gosh it is so hot here today. I hope the weather holds until the weekend as DS and the GKs are coming and I promised we'd have a pre-birthday party for me. Would be better if we can sit outside.

Toni'sfriend

I hope you get to Ibiza but a good idea to have a secondary plan. You definitely need a change of scene. Was Mr SA like this before his illness or is this a recent thing? Not that it really makes a difference but I was just wondering.

Cherryfudge

I like the idea of having a backup plan if Ibiza can't go ahead. Have you a favourite place in Greece?
Mental health-wise, I know the NHS and various other organisations have online self-help stuff but is there anything more specific in the advice out there for carers? After all it's likely to be tailored to people who are restricted through their caring responsibilities, and one hopes someone's come up with things for these specific times. I do know carers and people who are shielding have been doing more and getting less support for a long time now and you aren't the only one feeling the strain.
Also, perhaps there are others waiting for the FB group to wake up again? Perhaps you could set the ball rolling? 'Anyone fancy a meetup at the park on Saturday at 10?' sort of thing...

Sun_Addict

I suspect the FB group might be quiet as some of them were on furlough and probably gone back to work, some might be away. It's a good idea to revive it again though, if no one else has suggested anything by the time I come back from holiday I will. 

I'm in a carers support group run via work and often attend the support dial ins. My problem is it's hard for me to talk as he's always in the background listening. There are some exceptions but most people seem to be caring for elderly parents or they find being a carer rewarding (I'm afraid I don't).

He's never like me having my own friends/interests. My mum spotted this trait many years ago, she would be saying I told you so right now. Back then if I wanted some time out to myself it would've caused an argument and days of him sulking, so most of the time I didn't bother, it was too much effort. The difference now is that I don't care if he sulks but it's the constant checking up on me.  He doesn't even have his afternoon nap now so he's always there in the background, there's no break from him.

Onebrokelady

You need a break, go and visit your friend in her garden and tell him that unless he wants to risk you leaving him to completely fend for himself he had better butt out, will any of your family come and sit with him while you are out. He is so lucky he's got you running round behind him I would have left by now, I think he needs a wake up call 😡

Bubblesmum

Onebrokelady said:

You need a break, go and visit your friend in her garden and tell him that unless he wants to risk you leaving him to completely fend for himself he had better butt out, will any of your family come and sit with him while you are out. He is so lucky he's got you running round behind him I would have left by now, I think he needs a wake up call 😡

I echo these thoughts, so much of your diary has always been putting on a brave face whatever is going on in your life. This year especially we have to really acknowledge that to be a carer in this a 

pandemic as this still is, is incredibly challenging - And you need to look after yourself so that you are able to look after him in the future. Please do take care of yourself gentle hugs BM 

Toni'sfriend

I thought that might be the case. My ex was the same. Alienated every friend I had and most of my family. Temporarily I'm glad to say. They were very supportive after we split but It is very wearing to have someone constantly follow you, want to know what you're doing and expect you to be at their beck and call. If you ever need to have a good rant or a loud scream I'm only an email away.

milann

It is so wrong of him to dominate you like this - you need some me time. I don’t know what to suggest other than saying you’re meeting a WW friend in their garden so that he can’t follow you, as he seems to accept you going to WW.
My dd and family are going to Greece next week - they’ve got refundable flights but had the accommodation booked since last year and they won’t refund so fingers crossed for you all.🤞

Sun_Addict

Thank you all so very much appreciated 💕

Tui have just cancelled all Spanish island flights until 23 August so no doubt Jet2 will follow suit. We’re due to travel 20 August. We’ve been to Greece quite a few times and we do like it. Looking at flight times Zante is the best bet, we’ve been before when the kids were young and they do mobility scooter hire. A funny story about Zante is that every morning we passed an old local bloke sat outside his ramshackle  house and we waved to him, the only English word he knew was bye bye so we called him the bye bye man. One morning he came up to me, hugged me and kissed me on both cheeks. Well the kids thought it was hilarious and couldn’t wait to tell their dad the bye bye man had kissed mummy 🤣

I’m determined I will be sat somewhere hot and sunny overlooking the sea with a cocktail in my hand in my birthday 🍹

Seasidegal58

I can't add to anything the others have posted but I do feel for you. It's so difficult as he focuses on you entirely. If you manage to get the FB meet ups going, tell him they're for women only and no other men will be there and make it plain he'll look a right Charlie if he tries to turn up. Perhaps humiliation could work...
I hope you manage to get to Zante - I last went there with my ex over twenty years ago - it's a lovely little island - so green. I can't remember where we stayed though - it was one of the quieter resorts but it might have all changed by now.  There was a stables there and I went for a ride in the hills with the owner who was  on a horse that was quite nuts!  That was a very entertaining two hours!🤣