Things can only get better

HairyHandofDartmoor

You should definitely insist on going out more if you can SA. If you were to leave him where would he be then? Life is too short for regrets.

enthusiasticsaver

It is easy for us to say from behind a keyboard but yes I think you may have to be more forceful with Mr SA. From the sound of things some of the things he protests at like you seeing friends or going out to the theatre were pre his health scare so that is no excuse. Sadly the only way to deal with it is refuse to let yourself be bullied into doing what he wants. Does not have to be a fight, just tell him what your plans are, tell him what he can have for a meal or get your DD to sort something out and just go. Let him sulk. Life really is too short not to do the things you would like to.

Re the NY I think putting him on a warning is a good idea. Surely drinking too much alcohol is not good for him if he has mobility issues and bladder problems? I think I would be tempted to cut back on the beer you buy him for at home both from a cost point of view and health issues. We bought loads of booze for Xmas as we rarely keep any in the house then had a party where people brought extra so now have massive surplus. Having succumbed to a cold I think I had a glass of wine Xmas day and a snowball Boxing Day and that is it.

Happy New Year.

-taff

It's possible that he felt guilty for plying mr SA with drink and that's why they haven't invited you out, especially if he was the one buying him extra with his money...
Enjoy yourself anyway, and I absolutely agree with doing more of what you want. Mr SA is stuck in his limboland, and if he isn't going to go out with you, then definitely go. One thing cancer has taught me is that you don't know what's coming, so you might as well throttle the fun out of every day because if you don't, you're in your own limboland of exisiting and not living.

WannabeFree

Echo ES about Mr SA. I have no advice I'm rubbish

I hope you have a lovely evening with your friend tonight

x

Sun_Addict

Thanks for your comments, you are right. He won't do anything except for moan so I don't know why I let it bother me. Before he got ill he would've been really argumentative about it, he could get quite nasty and sulk for days. Always made sure I suffered for it. I've told him several times the worm has turned since those days.

He doesn't drink too much when we go out at night on holiday so I'm hoping he's learned his lesson. He shouldn't really be drinking at all with his brain damage as there's enough going on in there without alcohol adding to the mix. I'm sick of nagging him, it's his problem. If I didn't buy it in he'd just go out on his scooter and pick some up locally at an inflated price. At least I buy it on offer.

Managed to get his prescription for the month yesterday before the medical exemption runs out. Not heard back from the doctors so hopefully they've located the form and sent it off.

A few weeks ago I bumped into an old friend who had lost her husband earlier this year. I offered my condolences and she said oh I'm fine, he was very controlling and I'm enjoying my freedom I can do whatever I want now. I understood how she felt to be honest.

System

SA if I lived round the corner I would drag you out with me . After what happened to my family , we know life is way to short to have regrets. As ES says I suppose it's easy for us to say on a keyboard , however I do think you are right to stick to your guns. It would be easier I think if Mr SA had a few chums to mix with.

Have a good evening tomorrow.

mummytogirls

Enjoy your time out with your friend SA.

My ex was always jealous as I always had a good social life, but it needs to be done unfortunately. If they choose not to enjoy doing those things then tough! You work hard and you should enjoy some time out xx

Sun_Addict

Well I've just told him I'm meeting my friend later. Predicted reaction - he feels dizzy, I'm abandoning him at Christmas, he'll go out on his own, blah, blah, blah. Also got the predicted why are you meeting her she's trouble !!!

I wouldn't mind but he doesn't really know her, she was a couple of years above him at school and she's a grandma now, people change. He's stuck in a time warp.

I really don't care to be honest. It's just made me angry and more determined to go

His dinner is in the slow cooker just in case I dare to be back home after 7.30!

Anyway fingers crossed she doesn't cancel now or I'm off out on my own.

I wish he had some friends of his own - oh to get him out of my hair for a couple of hours.

Need to take the dog out again then will put some slap on and get changed. Looking forward to a chat with someone I can have a decent conversation with

As one of my other friends said - get him to choose do I have a 2 hour catch up while she's here or go to Oz for 2 weeks and catch up there. I rest my case.

maddiemay

Have a good time catching up with your friend, shame you have to take all that flack every time you want to do something, but better that than giving in and sitting watching Mr SA sleeping or watching crap on TV. You deserve a life of your own. x

beanielou

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

You should definitely insist on going out more if you can SA. If you were to leave him where would he be then? Life is too short for regrets.

This.Just this.