Things can only get better

-taff

Sun_Addict wrote: »

I'm getting so fed up of not being able to do anything because of him.

Is it worth you looking into respite care for a bit? It might help him and it would give you a break...Your situation isn't going to change any time soon so it might be as well to put something in place now before you get super frustrated...Sometimes, from the outside looking in, you have a different perspective...Not meant to offend BTW

Toni'sfriend

SA - You have the patience of a saint. I don't know how you cope with his constant moaning and pestering.

Enjoy your wine tasting.

mummytogirls

Hope you enjoyed the wine tasting SA xx

Sun_Addict

Morning folks - happy Sunday

taff I would love to put him in respite care for a while but it would not go down well with him and he would just escape and come home. Even when he was in hospital he tried to escape and they caught him in the lift with a packed bag a couple of times. I've threatened him with it when he's been particularly hard work, especially with the incontinence. I know he's got brain damage but he just doesn't think he's a problem. I've told him time and time again that it's not fair that he thinks that it's alright for me to go to work all day but not ok for me to have any fun.

I feel I'm missing out on doing things I'd like to do but can't because he doesn't want to do it/it would be a right faff to do it because of his mobility issues/he doesn't want me to do it. For instance I love going to the theatre but can't because he doesn't want to go. It is starting to get me down. This is why I try to get us on holiday as often as possible to sort of make up for it or we'd go nowhere.

I think I would benefit from going to some sort of carers group just to offload my frustrations and talk to people in a similar situation - and there's no way he could object to that.

Some days I think how much longer can this go on for

Anyway that aside - the wine tasting was great, really entertaining. I miss my old team I used to work with but I don't regret going to the new job. Mr SA kept making snide comments about me never being at work (it was actually after work!) but he was happy with the chip shop fish and chips I brought him back.

Later on I'll look at my targets for the month, not really made much progress and I know I've overspend by £5.11 this week. There haven't been any more NSDs since last Sunday and Mr SA will need milk for his coffees before tomorrow so might nip up to Aldi later on and pick some fruit up too.

Tomorrow I've got to go to Lincoln for a few hours with work. Not told Mr SA as he will be none the wiser as I'll still be home at the same time.

Hope everyone has a lovely day

mummytogirls

Morning SA,

I definitely think you should look into carers groups as this would help with venting your frustrations and others might have suggestions for you. Could Mr SA's sister help out a bit? I know people have busy lives but might be worth the ask? Or rather than respite is there anyone who can come into the home if you're out late so at least his tea is there for him? I don't have any experience of this so this might not be a goer but just something to think about.

Im glad you are enjoying your new job and enjoyed the wine tasting

Enjoy your Sunday xx

HairyHandofDartmoor

I think a carers group could be really helpful to you SA, you can let off steam and get to know people in the same situation.

Have a good Sunday.

-taff

Shame about the respite...But yes, join a group, you sound as if you need more support, especially to air some frustrations.
Has he still got a carer that comes in?

Sayschezza

Sun_Addict wrote: »

Morning folks - happy Sunday
I feel I'm missing out on doing things I'd like to do but can't because he doesn't want to do it/it would be a right faff to do it because of his mobility issues/he doesn't want me to do it. For instance I love going to the theatre but can't because he doesn't want to go. It is starting to get me down. This is why I try to get us on holiday as often as possible to sort of make up for it or we'd go nowhere.

Hope everyone has a lovely day

SA you have my sympathy as I am in exactly the same boat. My Oh (we are both in our 70s) has mobility problems but will not put himself out to see that sitting about watching TV is no life at all. He isn't so bad he can't get onto coach/trains so I can manage to get him to agree short continental coach holidays as long as we don't go on any other trips while we are there. I couldn't manage him and suitcases through airports so it's my only option. Luckily I have a single girlfriend who will come on the occasional cruise with me but it's really odd sharing a cabin with another female. Keep determined to live the life you deserve as it only gets worse as you age. Good luck.

please-let-me-be-lucky

Definitely think it’s time for a Carer’s group or counselling of some sort before you go under. I assume you’ve told Mr SA that he’s pushing you away, possibly for good?!

Do you have a friend that would go to the theatre with you? Xx

milann

You are an amazing lady SA. Do you still take an odd day off and get out without telling MrSA - if not could you start again.

A carers group sounds like it could be helpful.

I know they gave him the all clear but I'm guessing they said things won't improve - maybe that coupled with post holibobs blues and his own personality from before the illness is making him a bit down at the mo. Plus a bit of withdrawal if he's cutting down on his tipples.

The sad thing is there's no magic answer - wish I had ETs Magic finger like in the film.

September plan sounds good. I'm liking the 100 square idea too.