Things can only get better

katsu

Being as he's focusing on the advice from the appointment,  could you maybe talk to the consultant (or GP) and have them recommend the respite to him for his own good? 

I'm thinking you might be able to get them to sell some changes to him?

enthusiasticsaver

Mr SA is very lucky to have you.  The life of a carer must be so hard.  I watched that Kate Garraway program yesterday on catch up on looking after her husband with long Covid.  Heartbreaking but I guess at least she has the profile and money to help her.  I second keeping some time to yourself.  Putting myself in your position though I guess you might just like some time to yourself to chill at home without Mr SAs constant demands and whining. 

Sun_Addict

Happy Monday and happy payday for me 😁

First day back in the office was fine. It was very busy and noisy, I'd forgotten how distracting it is. I'm back at home now and finishing my day off here. It was so nice to have normal conversations with normal people and not to have to fend off Mr SA's pestering and listening to him moaning. As nice as it is to WFH these 3 days in the office will do me the world of good. 

Despite being payday it will be NSD 12/12 today. Target hit 😁 Transferred an oddment to the Christmas pot so it now holds £141.09. 

Walked to and from work so just short of 17,000 steps done. Doing a live WW HIIT class later so exercise target well and truly hit today.

@katsu Mr SA is very stubborn and won't entertain respite care, he doesn't see why I need a break from him. He only hears what he wants to hear advice wise, which is why he's misinterpreted his consultant. Now I'm back in the office I can engineer more time to myself. I've got next Friday booked off but haven't told him about it yet as Friday is going to be a working in the office day and I can easily say I'm going to work but have a day to myself, perhaps a trip to a different town.

RelievedSheff

You deserve some time to yourself.

warby68

I think you're right to take the path of least resistance for some time to yourself.

Just as an aside, is there any emergency care at all in place for him ? What happens if you can't do it? I have an emergency package for mum where one call is supposed to trigger carers etc and I update a plan of what she would need yearly but you've never mentioned anything like that. Its through the carers service so guess it varies by region. I've never put it to the test though so no idea if it works.

foxgloves

@Sun_Addict - Another person here who thinks that you getting your little breaks is really important. Until fairly recently, my best friend was carer for her often difficult & cantankerous mother. It was very difficult for her to get any time for herself. I don't think I realised just how much she needed this until one summer day during that stage of Lockdown where 2 households could meet outside.....we invited her over for lunch in our garden. I heard her say to her partner, "This feels just like being on holiday". It was such a little thing, but she just so badly needed time away from a very trying person & situation.
Agree it will be easier for you to 'be in the office' but actually elsewhere, now that you are not WFH all the time. 
F x

Sun_Addict

warby68 said:

I think you're right to take the path of least resistance for some time to yourself.

Just as an aside, is there any emergency care at all in place for him ? What happens if you can't do it? I have an emergency package for mum where one call is supposed to trigger carers etc and I update a plan of what she would need yearly but you've never mentioned anything like that. Its through the carers service so guess it varies by region. I've never put it to the test though so no idea if it works.

I don't have anything in place mainly because DD still lives with us so there's someone to keep an eye on him if need be. When he ran me over on his scooter and I was in hospital for 3 days, his sister popped in to see him and DD was home anyway. I've still managed to care for him with my leg in plaster twice, I still had to do all the cooking and cleaning. The low point was clearing up after him with my leg in plaster when he had a bad tummy bug a couple of years ago. If I was so bad I couldn't move, I'd have to contact Adult Social Care to put something in place.

warby68

Sun_Addict said:

warby68 said:

I think you're right to take the path of least resistance for some time to yourself.

Just as an aside, is there any emergency care at all in place for him ? What happens if you can't do it? I have an emergency package for mum where one call is supposed to trigger carers etc and I update a plan of what she would need yearly but you've never mentioned anything like that. Its through the carers service so guess it varies by region. I've never put it to the test though so no idea if it works.

I don't have anything in place mainly because DD still lives with us so there's someone to keep an eye on him if need be. When he ran me over on his scooter and I was in hospital for 3 days, his sister popped in to see him and DD was home anyway. I've still managed to care for him with my leg in plaster twice, I still had to do all the cooking and cleaning. The low point was clearing up after him with my leg in plaster when he had a bad tummy bug a couple of years ago. If I was so bad I couldn't move, I'd have to contact Adult Social Care to put something in place.

I think you're tougher than me but truthfully you should have had some help when you were in plaster. None of it comes easily though does it? The one who needs it has to fight for it and so its usually just easier to get on. When my mum had to have carers 4 times a day after a hospital stay, she kept firing them off one slot at a time. Very frustrating. The main thing needed was just a regular check on her. I could do the practical stuff just not be there all the time. She couldn't put up with the uncertain timing and them not doing what she wanted. I kept having to ring up and claim a misunderstanding to get them back. 

Sun_Addict

It was a good call to do 6 hours in the office and the remainder at home. I still logged off at 4pm as usual and managed to dodge the heavy rain that started around the time I’d be leaving if I’d done a full day there. 

Sun_Addict

Happy March 😎

WFH today.

The current account has been decimated today, lots of direct debits gone out. Another £250 gone to the regular saver, another £100 overpayment to the additional borrowing part of the mortgage, another mortgage payment gone out and another windows payment gone.

Mr M shop delivered and put away. No missing items or subs but will have to go out for milk later as I forgot to order it.

By contrast to yesterday's rain, it's a lovely sunny day here so the WM is on.

Today's exercise will be walking the dog and local shops for milk, lunchtime WW live bums and tums and live resistance band training after work.

Tonight's dinner is fish pie with cauliflower mash.