Sainsburys disability discrimination

GwylimT

You keep saying you'll do anything but you have ignored any question regarding the crisis team.

pmduk

I think it's about time a BG locked this thread, it's going in circles.

Red-Squirrel_2

UN17ED wrote: »

I have contacted Mind, Saneline, ReThink and many more and they are of the same opinion that the only form of treatment is for her to be sectioned as my daughter is not able to cope with everyday life but like a lot of people in our area who because of the lack of support of mental health we fear that we will be doing what no parent should ever do and that is to bury their own child.

Why do you think that sectioning to get the appropriate treatment would kill her? Suicide is not common at all in mental health inpatient facilities, its far far more common in people who are trying to manage in the community not getting the right help!

NeilCr

Okay. Being the masochist I am!

I have been thinking about this today. UNI7ED I doubt you are going to like much of this. I do think you are overconfrontational but I do have a lot of sympathy for your situation.

You asked what I would do in your position. Again, I cannot say because I have no expertise or knowledge of OCD. All I can do is to comment on how I would react if I was placed back where I was before with my ex and her mental health problems.

1. I would go on and on at the experts and I would take any advice they gave.

2. If that advice was that she should be sectioned I would follow it. We got very close to that. Red-Squirrel is right in post #184.

3. I would take back control. Quite frankly in the relationship between you and your daughter there is only one person in control and it is not you.

At times she is going to be wrong. Do you tell her that? Do you suggest that she apologises. Or do you take her side? Do you placate her because of the reaction you know she will have? Believe me, I know how that happens. And that is what I did and all that happened was that it got worse.

If you do try this then I know how awful it can be. Tears, tantrums, threats - but, you know what, when I finally got round to doing it slowly things got better. I realised that the threats were not carried out. The tears ratcheted up and it was heart rending. But they did finally finish. It is hugely difficult and it is a battle of wills but you do have to be tough.

4. I would think about me. You cannot be an effective carer if you are battling stress/health problems yourself. I took myself off for a day. I turned the mobile off. I went for a drive or a long walk. I dreaded turning the phone back on - but not once did I get a message - and she was always okay when I got home.

I started volunteering. She did not like that at all. And that was because it was taking attention away from her. Again, despite all the noise nothing happened and she grew to accept it.

5. I would think of the future. Without being gloomy there is going to come a time when you will not be able to look after her and she will have to fend for herself. You have to start thinking about preparing her for that not dealing with the here and now.

REPEAT. I am not advocating this for someone who has OCD as I have not lived with someone who has this. But that would be how I would handle someone who had the same serious mental health problems that my ex had.

And it has turned out well. This is in no way all down to me. She made a huge effort to understand her illness and how it effected her. From there things went upwards. My ex lives by herself, is happy and has a good life. She has created a very controlled environment but that is fine. We get on well, talk every week and I am amazingly proud of how she has got to where she has.

Even though we were separated by then one of the best moments of my life was to be invited to her degree award ceremony. I knew just what it had taken her and what she had been through to get there.

And that is it. I am sure I will get an aggressive response. You asked -I have replied to the best of my ability.

Ames

I agree with Red Squirrel and NeilCr. If all the professional organisations agree that sectioning is required then it seems clear that's what has to happen.

I'm also worried that your GP isn't as good as you think. I thought I had a great GP, he was really sympathetic and said all the right things. But when I got talking to various support workers I realised that he didn't actually do anything. In particular with my mental health he'd just say 'services round here are rubbish, there's no point even writing a referral'. Having got a referral and started therapy I realise he was wrong. There was help out there, and the many years I delayed because of his 'advice' have just made my problems far worse than they needed to be.

It does sound as though your GP is just making lots of sympathetic noises and that's not what your daughter needs right now.

At the risk of sounding morbid - what will she do if you're suddenly not around? If you have to go into hospital for some reason, or worse? That seems far riskier than having her sectioned and getting appropriate treatment.

UN17ED

Pollycat wrote: »

<<sighs>>

You just don't get it do you?
It isn't my daughter.

My last posts were about the benefit you were getting (or not) from continuing posting on this thread.
I really do hope that it's helping you to continue arguing with posters.
But it won't be with me anymore.

One last piece of advice re this:

I hope you've been much clearer about what actually happened in Sainsbury's than you have been on this thread.

I'm sad to hear you won't be adding more valuble advice, but life goes on.
I couldn't have been any more clearer than all relevant medical orgenisations have been contacted, the most important one which is the local mental health team will not section her, We can not force them to do it.

UN17ED

Ames wrote: »

I agree with Red Squirrel and NeilCr. If all the professional organisations agree that sectioning is required then it seems clear that's what has to happen.

I'm also worried that your GP isn't as good as you think. I thought I had a great GP, he was really sympathetic and said all the right things. But when I got talking to various support workers I realised that he didn't actually do anything. In particular with my mental health he'd just say 'services round here are rubbish, there's no point even writing a referral'. Having got a referral and started therapy I realise he was wrong. There was help out there, and the many years I delayed because of his 'advice' have just made my problems far worse than they needed to be.

It does sound as though your GP is just making lots of sympathetic noises and that's not what your daughter needs right now.

At the risk of sounding morbid - what will she do if you're suddenly not around? If you have to go into hospital for some reason, or worse? That seems far riskier than having her sectioned and getting appropriate treatment.

Again we want her sectioned, have never said any different, it is the local mental health team who won't.

UN17ED

NeilCr wrote: »

Okay. Being the masochist I am!

I have been thinking about this today. UNI7ED I doubt you are going to like much of this. I do think you are overconfrontational but I do have a lot of sympathy for your situation.

You asked what I would do in your position. Again, I cannot say because I have no expertise or knowledge of OCD. All I can do is to comment on how I would react if I was placed back where I was before with my ex and her mental health problems.

1. I would go on and on at the experts and I would take any advice they gave.

2. If that advice was that she should be sectioned I would follow it. We got very close to that. Red-Squirrel is right in post #184.

3. I would take back control. Quite frankly in the relationship between you and your daughter there is only one person in control and it is not you.

At times she is going to be wrong. Do you tell her that? Do you suggest that she apologises. Or do you take her side? Do you placate her because of the reaction you know she will have? Believe me, I know how that happens. And that is what I did and all that happened was that it got worse.

If you do try this then I know how awful it can be. Tears, tantrums, threats - but, you know what, when I finally got round to doing it slowly things got better. I realised that the threats were not carried out. The tears ratcheted up and it was heart rending. But they did finally finish. It is hugely difficult and it is a battle of wills but you do have to be tough.

4. I would think about me. You cannot be an effective carer if you are battling stress/health problems yourself. I took myself off for a day. I turned the mobile off. I went for a drive or a long walk. I dreaded turning the phone back on - but not once did I get a message - and she was always okay when I got home.

I started volunteering. She did not like that at all. And that was because it was taking attention away from her. Again, despite all the noise nothing happened and she grew to accept it.

5. I would think of the future. Without being gloomy there is going to come a time when you will not be able to look after her and she will have to fend for herself. You have to start thinking about preparing her for that not dealing with the here and now.

REPEAT. I am not advocating this for someone who has OCD as I have not lived with someone who has this. But that would be how I would handle someone who had the same serious mental health problems that my ex had.

And it has turned out well. This is in no way all down to me. She made a huge effort to understand her illness and how it effected her. From there things went upwards. My ex lives by herself, is happy and has a good life. She has created a very controlled environment but that is fine. We get on well, talk every week and I am amazingly proud of how she has got to where she has.

Even though we were separated by then one of the best moments of my life was to be invited to her degree award ceremony. I knew just what it had taken her and what she had been through to get there.

And that is it. I am sure I will get an aggressive response. You asked -I have replied to the best of my ability.

If disagreeing with people on this forum is deemed as aggressive so be it, no one bothers to read my posts saying about getting her help but being let down by the local mental health team for getting her sectioned.

I did ask for how you would deal with it and you replied but spoilt it right at the end.

UN17ED

GwylimT wrote: »

You keep saying you'll do anything but you have ignored any question regarding the crisis team.

I have contacted the crisis team, as I have said on numerous posts previously where I said I have contacted all relevant medical organisations. Unfortunately all they said was they would pass on to mental health.

baza52

what treatment has she had or is receiving now? Is she on any medication?
How else does her OCD impact her life apart from shopping and the need to wipe things before she uses them?