Self help thread. I am a widow coping getting on with it

shays_mum

Firstly i am so so sorry for all our losses.
I didn't realise this was an over 50's thread hoping you don't mind me joining in, my brain's been all over the place for the last 5m
I hope i can gain some wisdom from those of you on the road ahead & try to help those who follow us.
I am just waking up to my new reality & it's killing me.
I've lost my love, my house & business on one tragic day, but I am blessed in the support of great family & friends both off & online.
It's one step forward and 2 back, but today was a great day!!

Torry_Quine

shays_mum wrote: »

So sorry for your loss Torry,
I didn't realise this was an over 50's thread, my brain's been all over the place for the last 5m

You are welcome here even though young.

It's widows brain.

sheilavw

well done to your Daughter!!. Her dad would be so proudMick is on the ferry home. Hes had a few better days since I last posted with the help of his lovely friend at the b n b whos been fishing with him. He managed 4.5 hours yesterday. He said hes had a good time but glad to be home. I need to try and calm down. I’m back at work 3/9. I had some sad news monday. A friend dad sunday night with cancer. I havent told my Husband yet.thanks everyone for your support

wort

Shays_mum you're welcome on here, I think it was Kittie that originally set it up, and it probably seemed the best place for it. But unfortunately being a widow isn't just about those over 50.
Your daughter has done excellent, especially given the circumstances. You should both be proud as I'm sure your husband is.
Sending hugs and comfort to all.

humptydumptybits

shays_mum wrote: »

Having been suddenly and unexpectedly widowed 5m ago aged 44. I'm left with 2 teens to raise.

Today i wanted to share in a little ray of light on my new horrible road - my beautiful dd smashed her GCSE's - she sat them just 2m after her dad passed away (both of my kids had to perform cpr on him on a school morning - he was gone an hour later from PE/DVT).





She got 12 A*'s!!!!!!:D:D:D:D:D:D
To say i'm so bloody proud would be an understatement!!!!

I just came across this thread, so will be more active in it. Hang in there guys, we got this!! x

How wonderful for you to get such great news. You must be bursting with pride and quite right too. Hope you managed a celebration of some sort, it is certainly a result to celebrate in any circumstances but she has done it against all the odds. A levels now?

shays_mum

Thank you all for your best wishes!. Onwards & upwards now - A'level Maths, Chemistry & Biology here we come!.
I assured the kids whatever happened, exams were not the end of the world. We got back from Alicante just before the results to this!!, was just the icing on the cake.
Just trying to stay upbeat for the kiddo's, but it's so so difficult. I've perfected the art of crying & sounding fine and now know that kitchen roll is much better to mop up tears without leaving tissue paper all over my face!!. Not something i needed, but can add to my skills set lol.
Hope all of you are doing okay x

lessonlearned

Hello Shays mum. Welcome to the thread. Sorry for your loss - sounds like you had a triple whammy, it must have been a terrible shock - sending you hope, love and hugs. It's early days yet for you all but wow what a result for your daughter. You must be so proud. What an achievement.

Well finally......I move house next Monday. Just a month to the day after the 4th anniversary of my husband's death. I have very mixed feelings...., both hopeful and apprehensive. Being surrounded by boxes doesn't help. It does seem a daunting task but I'm sure i will be ok once I'm in.

I'm not going to go mad with decorating etc. I'm just going to move in, and get cosy for winter. It's not great but it's liveable. I can then think about it all and decide on a plan of action for next year.

Let's hope my new home is the beginning of a new life for me. Time to move forwards and see what the future holds.

sheilavw

Good luck with the house move Lessonslearned. I hope that you will be very happy in your new home. I am sure you will be busy this week!
It is the end of the school holidays for me. I was last in work 13/7. I didnt sleep well last night. I think I am worried about everyone asking how my Husband is and me getting tearful. I will be glad to get the first day over with.

lessonlearned

Good luck, Sheila. When my husband was sick I also found it difficult when people asked how he was. I used to get tearful. It's hard not to. The people who care about you will understand.

Sending you hugs.

Torry_Quine

sheilavw wrote: »

Good luck with the house move Lessonslearned. I hope that you will be very happy in your new home. I am sure you will be busy this week!
It is the end of the school holidays for me. I was last in work 13/7. I didnt sleep well last night. I think I am worried about everyone asking how my Husband is and me getting tearful. I will be glad to get the first day over with.

I hope that today isn't too hard for you. Yes it may well be upsetting when people ask. Personally I would have been even more upset if they hadn't .