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Self help thread. I am a widow coping getting on with it - Page 54

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Self help thread. I am a widow coping getting on with it

edited 30 November -1 at 12:00AM in Over 50s Money Saving
1.1K replies 191.9K views
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  • wortwort Forumite
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    Thanks Elona, and LL Time will tell!
    Well done selling your house ,I hope you find something suitable soon. I wish I was more savvy with investment, I'm always scared to take risks, and do worry wether I'll manage money wise.
    Poppy it will be nice if the headstone is in for the anniversary, I know what you mean about there being some kind of memorial.
    Elona a girlie day sounds great, I enjoy them with friends also with family, we did something on Saturday, sat in the garden at my nieces drinking pimms.
    I rather think people are aware at the moment, of dates I received flowers from my niece and dd1 this week.
    Focus on contribution instead of the impressiveness of consumption to see the true beauty in people.
  • lessonlearnedlessonlearned Forumite
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    Hello Everyone

    Wort hope you are ok. It's nice people are remembering you and sending flowers. Hope it makes you feel a bit better.

    Well I am just about in full panic mode now. I know House moving is always difficult but right now I feel my stress levels are going through the roof. I have not been able to find my next house yet, there are so many dogs out there. And now my buyers are making what I think are stupid and unreasonable requests. Hey ho. I guess that's par for the course.

    I am viewing a house today but again I don't think it's going to be suitable. I am more tempted than ever just to go into rented for a while, to take the pressure off, otherwise I might make a rushed decision and make an expensive mistake I come to regret.

    I am sick of trailing through Rightmove. I was awake at stupid o clock this morning and the first thing I could think of when I woke up was I don't really want to House hunt any more. However, I do have to move. I can't stay here indefinitley, and I guess may as well do it now whilst I am still in my 60s. I think I just need to take a step back and have a breather rather than trying to plough on and do it all in one fell swoop.

    How I miss my husband, his wit and good counsel. Moving would have been a pleasure and an adventure instead of what it is now, just one big headache. Oh well I guess I will just have to put "my big girls knickers on" and get on with it.
    .
    At least my broker has come up with a good deal for me so that's something.
  • lessonlearnedlessonlearned Forumite
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    Quick update.

    Viewed the house, loved it, made an offer, had it accepted.

    Phew. :rotfl:

    It's a bungalow with a bedroom upstairs. Chalet bungalow?? Anyway perfect to meet my changing needs. I get to keep using the stairs as long as possible to keep my legs strong. Then if I get to the stage where it's too much of a struggle to use the stairs then I can sleep in the downstairs bedroom and have the upstairs bedroom for visitors.

    It does need a bit of work but it's mainly cosmetic so I can take my time.

    What a relief, a real weight off my shoulders.
  • humptydumptybitshumptydumptybits Forumite
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    Moving is stressful. We last did it 20 years ago and I swore never again. I think I am ready now to think about it. At least you have a buyer and something you want so you are well on your way now.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
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    :j oh my goodness, I am so pleased for you LL. Yes it isn`t exciting, this moving malarky, it is an adventure but really is a difficult thing to do solo


    Nothing for me yet, two houses came up on RM bur one was far too big and one had an acre and surrounded by fields


    Some interesting stuff: nationwide are proposing a lifetime interest only mortgage for over 55s. Very exciting, it means that people can move/escape or get jobs done without having equity release
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  • edited 23 May 2018 at 10:31PM
    lessonlearnedlessonlearned Forumite
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    edited 23 May 2018 at 10:31PM
    Kittie.....you are right. There has been a big shake up in the mortgage market this last couple of years. There are a lot more senior mortgages available now, plenty of options and ways to refinance.

    I can have a 29 year capital repayment mortgage.....I shall be 67 in July.:rotfl: Because of the long term, the payments aren't much higher than interest only. As long as I take out protection to cover the mortgage in case of my demise. And because I have no serious health issues the protection insurance is not too expensive. And because it is underwritten now, it won't increase even if my health deteriorates,

    The mortgage will be fixed for 5 years at 3.19 % so a really good deal. I can make overpayments of 10 per cent per year during the 5 year period and then just clear the remaining balance whenever I wish after that. Although to be honest the monthly repayments are so low I might not even bother because inflation reduces their impact over time anyway, it all depends on what happens to interest rates in 5 years time. If they are high then I will pay off the mortgage. If they remain low I might not bother. It might be more fruitful to just keep my investments and then let the income generated cover the mortgage payments.

    I am only borrowing around 20 per cent of the purchase price, so only a small mortgage. I don't actually need a mortgage, I could buy outright but doing it this way helps me conserve my savings and capital.

    I think it's wiser to keep as much capital as possible because once you start raiding it, then it can be difficult to replenish the coffers. Finding a small payment each month is much easier. Plus of course my capital can continue earning and growing. Apparently this is called "opportunity costs". If you spend it, it's gone. If you don't, it grows and creates more.

    It has only taken me a lifetime to understand this.......How I wish I had grasped that when I was in my 20s. :rotfl: hey ho, better a lesson learned Late then never at all. ;).

    Anyway, At the moment my investments are geared to growth rather than paying me an income because I can usually manage on my pensions, without having to dip into savings. If I do then I usually try and put the money back as quickly as possible.

    Later, as I get older, then I will probably need more income so then I will switch to more income producing investments.

    It's a balancing act. I am not a miser, and I live quite comfortably but My pension income is quite modest and I'm always mindful that pensions don't usually keep pace with inflation. So in a few years time my pensions will look even less generous than they are now.

    The good news about the bungalow is that although it needs a bit of work it is basically elbow grease, grunt work and gallons of paint. The big things have already been done, even the boiler is new and under guarantee.

    Of course there are always the unexpected expenses. Roof repairs etc don't come cheap so another reason to hold onto capital. One never knows.

    Of course being a bungalow I can a lot of the decorating and simple routine maintenance myself, although not the roof of course. :rotfl: I won't even need a window cleaner just yet and the boys can clean the guttering etc. It's perfectly liveable as it is so I can take my time and not overdo things. So I can't see the work costing a lot of money, just materials, no real labour costs. And over time I can make the garden easier to maintain, although again the big expensive hard landscaping has already been done.

    I have to say I am really relieved to have found this house. I was starting to get rather demoralised and frustrated. It only came on the market a few days ago so I just pounced. There was a lot if interest, if I had dithered I would have lost it. I Just hope it all goes through smoothly.
  • lessonlearnedlessonlearned Forumite
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    Moving is stressful. We last did it 20 years ago and I swore never again. I think I am ready now to think about it. At least you have a buyer and something you want so you are well on your way now.

    Fingers crossed. It's only a short chain, three in total, so hopefully it won't collapse.
  • humptydumptybitshumptydumptybits Forumite
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    Chains can be a nightmare. I think I've been quite lucky as my first house was bought from an elderly man in a care home so no chain, the second one we sold to first time buyers and bought from people who were ex pats so only 3 in the chain, 3rd house the previous owner had died and our buyers had cash. This house we kept house number 3 for a couple of years and let it and the sellers were moving to a bungalow but I'm not sure of further on in the chain. I still found it all stressful so dread to think what it is like for people in a long chain.


    I've got a buy to let and think if I sell this house I will move into the buy to let so won't feel pressured to find "the" house. I'll probably be moving long distance to be nearer to kids so I would sell the buy to let then as well once settled, don't fancy being a long distance landlord. I was working hard last week getting it ready for new tenants. It is funny because I've always had quite stressful jobs and it never bothered me but the stress of moving really does bother me.
  • edited 24 May 2018 at 9:57AM
    lessonlearnedlessonlearned Forumite
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    edited 24 May 2018 at 9:57AM
    I think the stress of moving is linked to our need for security, what I call the "nesting instinct". It's very powerful and it can be very unsettling when we find ourselves in a state of flux.

    Since my husband went into care and I sold the family home I haven't really felt "settled" anywhere. I had to move 3 times in 3 years, plus a few weeks staying with family, so rather unsettling. I ha e been here almost 4 years and although I do like it, I have always known it would be temporary. I think this new house will be a lovely, cosy home which hopefully will help me feel grounded and secure. And, which hopefully will be sufficiently future proof to meet my changing needs. Hopefully a forever home.

    The moment I stepped over the threshold it just felt right, almost familiar. Then last evening when reviewing it all, it struck me, it reminded me of my Belgian grandparents home. Grandfather died in 1963 and my grandmother moved into a convent, so it is over 50 years ago now but I can remember their little house as if it were yesterday.

    Funny what memories can be evoked.

    Humpty......Using your BTL As a stepping stone sounds like a brilliant plan. It will take a lot of stress out of the equation.
  • Savvy_SueSavvy_Sue Forumite
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    Humpty......Using your BTL As a stepping stone sounds like a brilliant plan. It will take a lot of stress out of the equation.
    It will also reduce any liability to CGT, possibly altogether ...
    Still knitting!
    Completed: TWO adult cardigans, 3 baby jumpers, 3 shawls, 1 sweat band, 3 pairs baby bootees, 2 sets of handwarmers, 1 Wise Man Knitivity figure + 1 sheep, 2 pairs socks, 3 balaclavas, multiple hats and poppies, 3 peony flowers, 4 butterflies ...
    Current projects: pink balaclava (for myself), seaman's hat, about to start another cardigan!
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