Working for family

oystercatcher

In my family we always pay for wood , screws etc straight away but never for labour. I wonder if this is FIL's way of having a dig at you for not paying for all the goods he has bought and he is also showing you the full value of his contribution to the project. Although to be honest it's as much his fault for not saying " You owe me £5.50" each time he comes back from the DIY store as it your fault for not settling up after each trip for new supplies.


Is it likely he will refuse the money for labour when you offer to pay him and just accept the money for goods?

If he seriously does want to be paid then I would do so, into his buisness account ! Then next time he offered to help I would be saying , sorry we can't afford you !!

pjcox2005

Maybe he's just trying to highlight a point and potentially feels taken for granted despite the thank yous.


Given you mention bolts and wood, then it suggests materials were relatively low so if the invoice is in excess of a £1,000, then it suggests your father in law has done around 100 hours of work.


Basically close to 3 full working weeks of labour so it's a lot of work and not the odd job around the house.

onlyroz

In principle, charging family "mates rates" for labour is fine - but this really should have been agreed in advance and it is cheeky to only ask for payment after the work has been completed. I'd expect the "normal" rate for this sort of work would be at least double what he's charging you though.

borkid

onlyroz wrote: »

In principle, charging family "mates rates" for labour is fine - but this really should have been agreed in advance and it is cheeky to only ask for payment after the work has been completed. I'd expect the "normal" rate for this sort of work would be at least double what he's charging you though.

Exactly. We don't do this sort of thing in my family but if I offer to take my daughter out for coffee/ meal then I pay if she offers then she pays.

The FiL should have made it very clear from the outset he was going to charge for labour. If someone did me a favour DIY around the house and something when wrong I wouldn't dream of expecting compensation/ coming back to fix it for free , if I paid for it I would.

samtoby

pjcox2005 wrote: »

Maybe he's just trying to highlight a point and potentially feels taken for granted despite the thank yous.


Given you mention bolts and wood, then it suggests materials were relatively low so if the invoice is in excess of a £1,000, then it suggests your father in law has done around 100 hours of work.


Basically close to 3 full working weeks of labour so it's a lot of work and not the odd job around the house.

This was over a whole year and a bit - and most was our kitchen which he 'offered' to 'help' my husband fit.

We have never ASKED.

samtoby

oystercatcher wrote: »

In my family we always pay for wood , screws etc straight away but never for labour. I wonder if this is FIL's way of having a dig at you for not paying for all the goods he has bought and he is also showing you the full value of his contribution to the project. Although to be honest it's as much his fault for not saying " You owe me £5.50" each time he comes back from the DIY store as it your fault for not settling up after each trip for new supplies.


Is it likely he will refuse the money for labour when you offer to pay him and just accept the money for goods?

If he seriously does want to be paid then I would do so, into his buisness account ! Then next time he offered to help I would be saying , sorry we can't afford you !!

I have been trying to get these receipts off him for ages. And last night I got them all - we have never said we wouldn't pay him for the materials - we offered to buy them ourselves but he would always say it was easier for him to buy them and we pay him back. We bought him something very expensive at Christmas as a thank you and we have also taken him and MIL out for a lot of meals in the last year as a thank you.

We also have bought things they have needed - I never dreamt of asking for the money - its just what you do for family I thought.

samtoby

bap98189 wrote: »

I can see another side to this.

He has been doing a lot of work for you, including buying materials. You say that there has been no discussion about payment. I suspect he has been expecting you or your OH to offer to pay him something, at the very least for the stuff he has bought. If neither of you has done so then this is him running out of patience.

He probably didn't want to do this but discussing money with family members can be seen as awkward and probably not a conversation he thinks he should be starting. I suspect he is fed up that you have not offered him any money, or at least started a "so how much do I owe you" conversation.

We have had this conversation so many times my patience was wearing thin. Its taken months for him to give us these receipts.

So that is not the case. I understand though.

Pollycat

pjcox2005 wrote: »

Maybe he's just trying to highlight a point and potentially feels taken for granted despite the thank yous.


Given you mention bolts and wood, then it suggests materials were relatively low so if the invoice is in excess of a £1,000, then it suggests your father in law has done around 100 hours of work.


Basically close to 3 full working weeks of labour so it's a lot of work and not the odd job around the house.

But he must have been aware of the volume of work involved when he offered - which is imho the key point:

samtoby wrote: »

He has been doing a lot of odd jobs for us and helped my husband fit our kitchen this year. He has laid flooring, put up shelves and generally been handy if my husband needed any help, we have our own business which we have recently started - and we have three children so when help has been offered we have said 'thank you' and accepted.

If he wanted paying for the work he offered to do, he should have said so at the time he offered the help.

pearl123

"When you say you have done a lot for him over the years" is it equal to the effort that he's put into your house?
I don't think an expensive Christmas present should be taken into account as it might not be to his taste.

moneyistooshorttomention

samtoby wrote: »

Over a thousand - including the materials

Quite frankly - FIL is not just being downright mean and tricky trying to bill for free work he did within the family - but he's also being a fool to himself (ie because he wants it in cash - and we do have HMRC that might well be interested in that little point:cool:;)).

Don't forget - you've done favours for him as well. So basically you've been "doing swopsies" within the family - a favour for a favour. That's what family (and close friends) do.