Working for family

samtoby

My father in law was a builder by trade before retiring in 2012.

He has been doing a lot of odd jobs for us and helped my husband fit our kitchen this year. He has laid flooring, put up shelves and generally been handy if my husband needed any help, we have our own business which we have recently started - and we have three children so when help has been offered we have said 'thank you' and accepted.

We were aware there were some things he had paid for such as bolts and wood to do some of these tasks and he had said he has the invoices and we have received them today.

Alongside this, is a bill, itemised, of all the hours he has worked doing things for us with a charge at £10 an hour - although he said he could have charged more, and a request we pay this in cash and not from the business where he will have to declare it.

There was no discussion about paying him at any time, although we did buy him a very expensive gift for Christmas as a thank you for everything he had done and we take him and OH's Mum out quite often for meals when work has been done to say 'thank you' so it has not gone unappreciated by us.

I am really stunned as I never thought in a million years he would charge us - as my husband has done a lot for him over the years and if he wants help for his home which he shares with OH's mother - my husband has just done it - and not billed him for it! My Mum does things for us all the time, and she doesn't bill us!

I realise we have to pay it - I don't feel we have any choice - but would you expect to be billed by your own parents for help they offered you?

System

Good grief no.

ViolaLass

I would probably refuse to pay it cash though...

mgdavid

I'd refuse to pay the labour charge at all - unless he can produce a signed order or contract from you for all the work.

*max*

I would be gobsmacked too. I would never dream of charging my family (or friends!) for professional services I've offered to do for them outside of my working day. Of course there is a limit, but it's never been abused to the point I got resentful and demanded payment!

Did you have a major fight or disagreement with your FIL recently? Did your husband? Was there any indication your FIL was always a bit of a tightwad?

That's the kind of situation that breaks families apart. I would speak to him and say you don't understand, there was never any talk of payment.

Sarastro

I think I would be pretty shocked too on the basis that you asked for 'help' and he agreed - I would expect to pay for the materials and maybe some petrol, but you've more than done that with the gifts given.

I don't think you have much choice but to pay it unless you want to cause an almighty row but I probably wouldn't ask him again!

It doesn't matter if you pay it cash or not, he will still be responsible for declaring it as income and paying the appropriate tax on it.

samtoby

No disagreements at all. No indication it was coming.

If he felt we had hit the ‘limit’ surely he shouldn’t have offered his ‘help’ because it’s not help in a family sense if your paying for it?

My husband is going round today to discuss it - I fear that the result on that might be irreversible.

bagpussbear

No I wouldn't expect to be billed.

If there is was no discussion about payment beforehand, I think your father in law is being very unreasonable. What on earth is he thinking!

I think its fair to pay for the material likes bolts etc and it sounds like you are ok with that. But to be presented with a £10 an hour bill, oh my goodness!

chesky

What’s the total bill?

samtoby

Over a thousand - including the materials

thorsoak

As others have said, if it hadn't been discussed beforehand, I too would be shocked and upset about this - but you do know in future to refuse all proffered help.

As regards paying him, tell him that you will have to pay it through the books - as you and your OH have just started a business, then it is imperative that you show all outgoings - and over £1000 is not a small amount. FiL will just have to suck it up and pay the VAT and tax on it!