Mooloo’s Managing it in 2018

Savvy_sewing

DS has to work so I don't know when he is going to manage to finish the house move!
I have been lazy, enjoying myself reading, relooking at my menu plans and have done a cooked lunch for a change.
Also decided that I can use some of my stock cupboards rather than go to the big supermarket etc.
Decided to make up some marvel milk for my teas etc and leave the proper milk for Dgds breakfast.
I may arrange to come home for lunch tomorrow so I can make lunches for dgd and myself instead of buying lunch.
I have staff Monday and Tuesday so I may make use of her being there and when I have delivered the jobs I need to do, I may work from home again.

F1 on Tv that I recorded. Being Lazy while I can.

Savvy_sewing

Not in the mood for sewing anything else. I have shortened 7 pairs of trousers and started on a jacket sleeves but I really don't feel the love today.

Savvy_sewing

So after a lot of my relatives have gone plastic free, I wanted to make small changes, at work I use paper carry bags, and I am a keen recycler, so I decided to start using the local Milk Man, the website said that my milk would be with me before 7am today. ( along with the fruit and veg box).
It has yet to arrive, so Marvel milk in my tea then!

Well the milk and veg arrived just before 7.30. The milk was in glass bottles, the veg etc in a cardboard box. Unfortunately it was all inside plastic bags. So I am rather disappointed that I had clicked on plastic free.

Back to the drawing board and to the market on Friday for Veg then.

Chrystal

Well it certainly isn't 'plastic free' if it's wrapped in plastic bags! :eek:
I hope you complained to the firm involved..... sounds like false advertising.

Hope things are going better for you and the family. X

beanielou

You could not make it up :eek:

duchy

I think I'd just say no to Biggest, there's two of them and they are more than capable of financial independence , it's more habit knowing they can fall back on you .
DS .....well at least he is working and looking to the future , he is getting there , two steps forward and one step back but definite progress.

As for the business you've come such a long way with that and learned so much in what is a comparatively short time but I think it was the best thing you could have done. I well remember your frustrations when working for someone else !

You do still need to spend more time in front of the mirror practising saying "no" but you know that

You really do need to give yourself some credit for how far you've come !

NeilCr

duchy wrote: »

I think I'd just say no to Biggest, there's two of them and they are more than capable of financial independence , it's more habit knowing they can fall back on you .
!

It's the saying no that is the problem, though - especially with a number of children

I see this with my partner. She tries very hard (and succeeds) in being fair to all of her kids. She, definitely, feels guilty if she thinks she is spending more time/money on one or two than the others and then tries to balance it out. She has got a couple who are more dependent than the rest.

And, that's not saying any of them are asking anything. They don't say "you've given them money why not me" or anything like that. But, as a parent, that is how she is

Savvy_sewing

Trying to find some positive to hang on too, as the stress has started to drag my emotions down.
The mayor came in yesterday with some work, and said that he was impressed with my business and how I am still trading when many have closed down in that time. I am working hard. Unfortunately my Sons issues play on my mind and I end up with nightmares most nights.
I am going to bed with meditations, Hypnosis and using a sleep mist. I am trying to be focused and positive.
Last night twin2 rang for a chat, don't think she bargained for me having a moan about being broke ( I am not quite broke but I am having to juggle and add up my shopping etc). Then I got a message from bpay saying I was having problems with my cashless card, so I took a look and Tesco took out £15 twice on Saturday and so there was nothing in yesterday when DS tried to use it for petrol. So I rang him, and he got a very grumpy worried me in his ear about my lack of finances and that he must get out of the first house and stop racking up bills. That he must get real and sort things out. I am ready to throw something at him!
His bb girlfriend has got him decorating the new house before they have cleared out the old house, meanwhile I am stuck with the DD of rent for both houses and they have yet to set up a payment plan to give it me back.
He still hasn't had his HGV medical either.
My frustration is boiling now.

And breathe. I need to get ready for work. I am still in my dressing gown and must wash my hair etc.
The electric lights at work are playing up and I am trying to get an electrician to sort it out, and I have fittings at 9.30 so I better find my positive energy and my mojo and get going!

dreaming

I think it is perfectly natural to feel the way you do. When eldest and partner moved out earlier this year (first into temporary accommodation, then a council bungalow) I went into quite a deep depression which, although I now feel almost back to normal, still creeps up and hits me now and then. They are now settled in and have money sorted, and both with ASD, have no recollection of how bad things were, or any understanding of my emotions around it all. My doctor says it is a form of PTSD - when you are in the thick of things the adrenaline keeps you going, but when things start to calm down your mind tries to process it all but can't. What works for me is to accept the down days and do something calming (but on my own) - a walk amongst trees, some easy reading, quick to prepare food (cheese on toast is my comfort food). But I only allow myself 1 day of this then I set a small target for the next day. then the next etc. I know you can't do this easily with your responsibilities but you never seem to have the time to switch off. Even on your days off you are trying to plan things to improve your life. See if it is possible to have a cut-off point each day (say 9.30 p.m.) after which you don't work, you don't use technology (except maybe a nice film on tv), don't think about tomorrow (or yesterday!), or what you have or haven't done today. It's not easy if you are an over-thinker like me but just try one or 2 nights and build it up. It helps me (most of the time). And don't have DDs on your account for DS - give them notice that it stops next month (to give them a chance to set it up for themselves). Even if you don't get back what they owe you at least you won't be getting deeper into debt on their behalf.

pollyanna_26

Mooloo There's a big positive in today's post with the feedback from the mayor . You've done so well to grow the business despite austerity , the struggles for retail whether chains or small businesses in the current climate . It proves you are on the right track .


On the other hand the rest of your post has made me angry on your behalf . I know it's difficult because you've been the bank of mum for so long but if you could read it clearly and imagine if your mum or a friend was describing what is going on what would your reaction be? Would you be angry at financial and emotional abuse ? Where is any form of care or concern for your physical and emotional wellbeing?


You are paying two lots of rent on DD . They've not even sorted and handed back the other house . Meanwhile the new house is being decorated - how are they affording that ?


Nobody should ever have a bank card in their possession that belongs to someone else . Meanwhile your son hasn't bothered to set up a repayment plan for the money you've used .


I know it's very upsetting but you need to hold up your hand and say "No more " to all of them . The twins sadly didn't get the proper support from services years ago so any help you could offer should be towards some support from services although I'm well aware it's like looking for a unicorn nowadays .


Biggest and her husband need to get a grip and sort out their priorities . Not weddings , holidays and his car habit . They're a family unit and have to master budgeting and living within their income .


As for your son Dyslexia can cause some problems but many people run their lives and work with the condition .



The fact is while you sort things instead of them nothing will change . You need to look after yourself so you can look after dgd . She's at an age now where the hormones are kicking in . I have three dds and well remember their ups and downs in adolescence . It can be exhausting . You need to show her how to manage life skills so she will be able to cope in both good and tough times .


You work hard and deserve to be able to relax when the working day is over and sleep without carrying worry to bed with you . The weather is changing and the nights are drawing in . The aches and pains will be back and the sad lamp needed . Please think hard about mapping a different way ahead . You do it for the business now do it for you . Nothing will change unless you change the dynamics and expectations on you .


Remember If you always do what you've always done . You'll always get what you've always got !


polly x