Mooloo’s Managing it in 2018

-taff

Maybe a small guilt trip would be in order then...Point out that you could have moved by now if you hadn't helped them financially...Ask them if it's time they took responsibility for themselves? Not in a big way...just a mention...Offhand like... :)And that maybe a repayment plan that was stuck to would show some responsibility...Maybe

Savvy_sewing

I am waking up with a new mantra!
The time to say No is Now" and adding that to my morning self talks.
My Tax Credits have been adjusted, as I gave them a change in my childcare expenses and today I have received an extra payment, which is very handy as I am currently in overdraft. But I have to wait for the letter to catch up in the post to tell me what my onward payments will be, which will be about £44 a week less I think.
Which is another opportunity to tell them the bank of Mum is closed.

pollyanna_26

Mooloo this is the best time to say no and make it clear no means no . That will get you back to your original intentions in your OP . You can show biggest and your son those figures and as you know they aren't showing all you've paid out over the years . It's one thing to give out money when it's available but when it means going into your overdraft, depleting your savings and as you did a while back putting your sons rent arrears on your credit card and worrying about paying your own bills it's time to call a halt .
You've built up the business to a point you should be paying yourself a decent wage but you are being held back by the money going elsewhere . You know we all wish you well so stick to this mantra , They need to learn to manage as all of us have had to it's part of growing up and taking control of their lives .


I know your old seamstress is working some hours with you is there any chance she could work more hours? It depends on her of course and if you could afford the extra hours . I imagine alterations and repairs to winter clothes are coming in and you seem to be taking home lots of trousers . Make your aim to go home each day without having to work at night after a long day . The time has come to consider your health and wellbeing . You may even find with more help in the shop you can make some Christmas items .
polly x

-taff

ognum wrote: »

As a parent I will always do whatever I can for my family even to the detriment of myself. Is this wrong?

I think you have to consider whether it's a detriment to them, not you.

If you send your children out into the world without a basic understanding of life skills, of any sort, budgeting, working, cleaning, cooking, compromise and sharing, you are making them dependent on either you or their partner. You will eventually leave the picture which leaves them high and dry, or their partner may eventually get fed up of carrying them which sends them back to you again.


If you are merely talking about helping them out occasionally due to not self-inflicted unforeseeable life events, that's a different kettle of fish.

ckmuir1

Hi. I've never posted on here but have followed your posts over the years laughing/crying/screaming and cheering with you at the various posts.

Firstly congratulations with the shop and on powering through the difficulties in you and your family's life. Not everyone (myself included) will agree with all the decisions you make but then everyone in life is different. We are not living your life or know the full facts of the situations you deal with. Its not easy but you can only do what you think and feel is right for you and yours.

I know from reading your comments that you have difficulties saying "No" to the family when they ask for financial help. Would it help just to tell them the truth - that your skint (as we say in Scotland). Tell them how much debt you have - show them the credit card statements and bank statement showing overdraft. You may find they don't know just how much debt you are in and may think you have more money coming into the household than you actually have.

Its only a suggestion for you to think about or dismiss if you want. It doesn't work for everyone and you will know if it will for you.

Stay strong and good luck with the shop - be very proud of what you have achieved with it.

curlywurly82

Yes, i would think saying "I am sorry I can't help you as I am very nearthe top of my overdraft and need to ensure I have enough to cover X" would be more powerful than saying no, I want to save for a house.

I think the first will make them realise helping them is leaving you with very tight finances, the second they may see as a dream they don't think you will reach so that little bit won't impact it etc.

You are a true inspiration Mooloo and I hope when you sit down and discuss a payment plan they respond appropriately

oystercatcher

I have been following Mooloo for years, don't often post because I feel it is unfair to judge when I haven't walked in those shoes as it were .

I just wonder if Mooloo could be Bank of Mum in a different way , yes definitely encourage the repayment of loans but as a separate item could those who sometimes need food money give Mooloo £5 or £10 emergency money when they have a little spare so that it is there to borrow back when they need it , but no more until they have replenished their savings pot . It would mean extra accounting but maybe would mean that Mooloo's emergency money wasn't suddenly used . Also any cash would need to be kept securely so it didn't disappear when no-one was looking! It might just help develop a savings habit ?

Just a thought ...as I said I haven't had to manage all that Mooloo has.

Savvy_sewing

Went to a friends 60th Birthday party, a dinner and disco at a hotel in Oxford last night. DS babysat for me. So I have staff in extra for me this morning. It took me over an hour to drive back this morning in the traffic. The fuel light came on just before I got home. So I will need to get fuel tomorrow if I am going to go anywhere. I have just mentioned to DS that my tax credits have gone down, and that I am on the edge of my overdraft etc (although I had a cheque clear yesterday so I am not in overdraft anymore!), but he doesn't need to know that.
I am having a cuppa before I go in to work, as I am teaching the kids again this afternoon. Not sure what exactly I am going to do with them, I need a little inspiration at the moment. Probably something towards Christmas I suppose.
Just been chatting over the fence with my new neighbours, they seem nice enough, but it's going to be a noisy time for a while as they are building an extension off the back of the house and my tree is going to be a casualty of that. Its roots are in the way. So the tree has to go.
My lawn might improve once it does go.

Savvy_sewing

Lazy start to the day. Wages done. Meditation done. Washing machine on.
I really should be doing more housework etc but I ache all over, probably from dancing the other night, so I am going to go and have a soak in a deep hot bath before I do anything else.
I had said that I would help DS clean up the last of the old house today. But I will wait for him to ask.
I have enough jobs of my own, and a trolley full of alterations to do this evening.
Somewhere along the line I will have to do some food shopping.

thorsoak

Now is the time for a bit of bargaining Mooloo .......tell DS that you will hel him to clean up the last of the old house today WHEN he has done some housework in YOUR home ....after all, he is one of the two adults in the house and will have contributed to (at least) 50% of the mess.