Mooloo’s Managing it in 2018

Savvy_sewing

Eager_Elephant wrote: »

Its so hard not to help your children out when they ask no matter their age.

Just consider for a moment the amount you have lent/borrowed over 18 months - would that have brought you a property in Portugal???

You can do this, the first no is always the hardest but the more you say it, the more it comes naturally.

Yep EE. It would have bought two of the houses on my list of houses to see, outright!

I felt guilty yesterday as twin2 asked for £40 and I had to say no can't help. I seriously cannot help with cash at the moment unless I touch the savings account.
I may have to if DS doesn't continue to pay me back every week. My personal cash account is on my overdraft limit. My money is literally coming in today and scraping the top of the overdraft.
I think I am too scared to do a cash flow as I know it will run out . I can pay myself a little more next week but I have to be careful as the business owes for a lot of stock this month.

One day at a time!
The power supply people are coming today to change my system to a smart meter. I have the boys at some stage.
I have house work in between.

-taff

I may be putting this wrong because I'm not great with the written word and how people interpret it but...
You children appear to be stealing from your future self. You've been their safety blanket because they don't want to grow up and take responsibility for themselves and organise themselves. If you want to live somewhere else, it's as well to stomp on that right now, because the way your life is going with constantly looking out for them and fighting their battles for them, it's not going to happen.
I do wish you luck with saying no...think pretty white and blue house, sun and lovely food, lazy days when you do it

Artytarty

Sometimes I think we self sabotage our dreams, make them unacheivable "due to others" so we don't have to face the risk of failure.
Well I do anyhow,
I'm a very competent artist but I'm always finding excuses not to put on the solo exhibition I dreamed of....we think and say it's what we want but subconsciously it's a different matter.

I think perhaps Mooloo does the same and I honestly can't imagine her ever leaving her dependants and their complicated needs to their own devices in pursuit of her dream.
That's possibly partly due to the mothering instinct and partly down to the above reason.

annandale

You could have bought two properties. Even with the cheapest properties we are talking around 15-20 grand in 18 months. Yes? You don't have that money to give. To spare.

While you struggle with money. They aren't just taking from you. They are taking from your granddaughter as well.

You could have bought two homes in the sun but you've paid off debt and rent and you know you'll only see a fraction back if you are lucky.

And they'll keep asking you for more. This is also money that you could have invested in your business. Or put into a pension pot.

You are being used in my view. I agree with the above poster. As long as you keep clearing up their messes they will never take responsibility.

Savvy_sewing

After doing my spreadsheet yesterday I think NO is definitely going to be on my agenda!
I feel like I am back in 2006, when I last had big debts.

I have a dream and I intend to make it happen, and only I can do that I know.

The electric and gas meters have been changed today. I can watch my bills now.

marliepanda

How are you managing to give away the price of a house on your income (which you have mentioned includes benefits) to your children without causing yourself severe hardship.

Not many people could pay their bills, run a business, feed themselves AND lend the price of a house out (assuming at least 10k) on a benefit income.

Anyway, clearly some of your children have disabilities and struggle, however why are you lending your eldest child money? She recently got a puppy, which is a choice, and an expensive choice. She has multiple children, which is again, a choice. You also mentioned at some point that there is an Audi in the family. Again, this is not the car choice of a family which needs money lending to them...

Feral_Moon

marliepanda wrote: »

How are you managing to give away the price of a house on your income (which you have mentioned includes benefits) to your children without causing yourself severe hardship.

Not many people could pay their bills, run a business, feed themselves AND lend the price of a house out (assuming at least 10k) on a benefit income.

Anyway, clearly some of your children have disabilities and struggle, however why are you lending your eldest child money? She recently got a puppy, which is a choice, and an expensive choice. She has multiple children, which is again, a choice. You also mentioned at some point that there is an Audi in the family. Again, this is not the car choice of a family which needs money lending to them...

Is it really any of your business? And, as far as I recall, Mooloo owns the Audi, not one of her children. They're not exactly a luxury car these days. Every other car on the road is an Audi lol

marliepanda

Feral_Moon wrote: »

Is it really any of your business? And, as far as I recall, Mooloo owns the Audi, not one of her children. They're not exactly a luxury car these days. Every other car on the road is an Audi lol

Probably because they're all financed. Regardless, there are many cheaper cars which are just as good as an Audi and cost half as much. (also, you may be correct that Mooloo has one, I don't know, but the partner of the daughter still has or had one, again, you don't borrow money when you have a fancy car. If you've got a clapped out Micra, borrow away!)

And if its 'none of my business' what are we supposed to respond when Mooloo is lamenting the fact she gave her adult children the equivalent of a house over 18 months. What do you mean its none of my business? I'm literally commenting on the information provided?

When the eldest child got the puppy people asked if she had paid back the money she lent for the wedding before she got the puppy. Was that allowed? Is that any of our business. If its on the internet, then yeah it is.

dreaming

marliepanda wrote: »

Probably because they're all financed. Regardless, there are many cheaper cars which are just as good as an Audi and cost half as much. (also, you may be correct that Mooloo has one, I don't know, but the partner of the daughter still has or had one, again, you don't borrow money when you have a fancy car. If you've got a clapped out Micra, borrow away!)

It may be that the car was bought earlier in more financially secure times, and could be just as "clapped out" as any Micra, in which case it may not be financially viable to sell it.
Sometimes it takes a day of reckoning to realise how much cash has been "lent" out. If it is a large sum then it is easier to see where it has gone but the smaller amounts (£20 here, £30 there) can add up to a substantial sum over time. These are often the "loans" that don't get paid back, as at the time they may seem (relatively) insignificant but yes, that money could have been used to make Mooloo's life more comfortable (which I think she knows now that she has it down in black and white).
What you do when a loved one is telling you they have no food - even if through their ill-advised choices - I really don't know. I think Mooloo has sometimes arranged for a food delivery rather than just handing over cash but I can see that she sometimes feels compelled to help out.

marliepanda

dreaming wrote: »

It may be that the car was bought earlier in more financially secure times, and could be just as "clapped out" as any Micra, in which case it may not be financially viable to sell it.
Sometimes it takes a day of reckoning to realise how much cash has been "lent" out. If it is a large sum then it is easier to see where it has gone but the smaller amounts (£20 here, £30 there) can add up to a substantial sum over time. These are often the "loans" that don't get paid back, as at the time they may seem (relatively) insignificant but yes, that money could have been used to make Mooloo's life more comfortable (which I think she knows now that she has it down in black and white).
What you do when a loved one is telling you they have no food - even if through their ill-advised choices - I really don't know. I think Mooloo has sometimes arranged for a food delivery rather than just handing over cash but I can see that she sometimes feels compelled to help out.

Oh I absolutely agree, but it still needs to be said. People will continue to make poor financial choices if there is no consequences.

They spent money on a dog before paying Mooloo back for a wedding, which to me shows a lack of respect for her, and the work she has to put in to make her money. She is always posting about the work she does and brings home and how to make her business work, and her children have no respect for that and just take, take, take.

Yes it is hard to see your children cold or hungry, but they are cold/hungry through choice, as there is clearly money 'there' it just isnt being used for sensible things, both for the eldest and through the son with his addiction issues. Enabling this behaviour however tempting that is is not helpful long term, because next time they need money they won't look to sell a luxury item, or hold off on the new iphone, theyll just think 'Mum will bail us out, its fine.'