Parenting an adult child

System

Kit1 wrote: »

I am so glad your DD came back to you and pray that one day our DD will also come back to us.

Just after she turned 18 she walked out to live with the love of her life and his wonderful mother. He is a controller but our DD could not see this she just thought the sun shown out of his whole being. It didn't matter what we said we were always wrong. We tried so hard to like him but he just turned her against us anyway saying we said horrible things to him, which we never but it is our word against his and he will always be right. That was almost 5 years ago and l doubt anything will change. She dumped all her friends too and all they would say was they didn't like him or trust him.

Maybe one day.

I hope she comes back. I'm so sorry that you're in this situation

Many years ago i was with someone who was toxic for me, everyone tried to warn me but slowly he cut everyone off. It was only after we split and i saw the light that i repaired those broken friendships ad relationships. 8 years on i;ve met the love of my life who treats me right and makes me happy and my relationship with my family is much better.

Out,_Vile_Jelly

Make sure your son knows how grateful you are that he came back for this particularly important family Christmas- tell him this direct rather than through his Nan.

Then you may have to grit your teeth and work with him if he's committed to moving in with the girl's family. Focus on the positives:

-Norway has good social services and a high standard of living
-It's not too far away
-It's one of the easiest places to visit and live if you speak English and not the local language

What he's doing isn't ideal, but it isn't the absolute end of the world. 6th form courses can be retaken. He can do an Open University qualification at any age and at any stage of his life if he wants. There might even be better educational opportunities available to him in Norway. He would essentially be working as a privately employed carer- that looks mature and responsible on a CV.

Good luck.

Sncjw

If the girlfriends dad is happy to have him over there. Can she not come and visit you.

downshifted

Norway in winter is cold dark and depressing. It won’t be easy for him with an ill girlfriend in an alien environment with a different family. Just be ready to pick up the pieces afterwards x