Wife taking surname

Zandoni

Mojisola wrote: »

Miss, Mrs, Ms or Mx - whichever she prefers.

So confusing though if she chooses Mrs then people will think she is married to someone else.

Tabbytabitha

unholyangel wrote: »

Its not like they went to Asda for matching names one weekend and she decided not to get one. Nor did she influence her parents decision in what to name her. So a bit unfair to say she's chosen to have a different name.

However the choice facing women is that we can either keep our name and potentially have a name different to our children or husbands. Or we can change our name and have a name different to our parents or siblings. Either way, we'll have a name that is different to the rest of our family.

But our children don't have to take their father's name, even if the parents are married.

Izadora

Zandoni wrote: »

So if Miss Jones marries and doesn't take her husbands name what title does she use, Miss, Mrs or something else?

I kept my surname and use "Miss" but, as Mojisola said, each woman should be able to choose whichever she prefers.

I kept my name because I like it and it's very uncommon (keeping "Miss" is largely due to laziness and partly due to not caring what title people use) but I don't actually mind if people send cards to Mr&Mrs Hissurname.

maman

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

But our children don't have to take their father's name, even if the parents are married.

I think it's increasingly common with unmarried couples for children to have the mother's maiden name.


Couples having children tend to fall into different groups.


There are the ones like OP (remember him:D) who chooses to live with someone, have child(ren), call them by his name and maybe get married at a future date when his partner may or may not choose to change her name to that of the man and children.


I find it odd that people choose to have children before ordering their lives in other ways (I mean home and job) and then eventually choose to get married. It all seems a bit back to front to me but it's their lifestyle choice as they don't expect me to fund it.


Then there are the single mothers who may not know know who the father is or he's a casual boyfriend who isn't very involved or sometimes a single woman who wants a child but not a husband/partner. I think in those cases it's more likely that the child will have the mother's name.

LilElvis

Zandoni wrote: »

I don't personally know any woman who has married and kept her name apart from a few double barrels.

So if Miss Jones marries and doesn't take her husbands name what title does she use, Miss, Mrs or something else?

Started "officially" using Ms as my title when it was printed on my bank card at age 16.

Remained Ms Maiden Name when I got married at 39.

Still Ms Maiden Name at 50.

moneyistooshorttomention

Zandoni wrote: »

I'm sure you'd struggle to find a man that would marry you on those terms.

That would be the reason why I've had several offers then would it?:rotfl::rotfl:.

I most certainly wouldnt want a man who thought he came first anyway - I would have wanted a "marriage of equals".

Zandoni

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

That would be the reason why I've had several offers then would it?:rotfl::rotfl:.

I most certainly wouldnt want a man who thought he came first anyway - I would have wanted a "marriage of equals".

It’s not exactly equal if you dictate the children’s surname :rotfl::rotfl:

Tabbytabitha

Zandoni wrote: »

It’s not exactly equal if you dictate the children’s surname :rotfl::rotfl:

So why are you (and the OP) trying to do so and what does that say about your relationships?

Zandoni

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

So why are you (and the OP) trying to do so and what does that say about your relationships?

My wife is like the majority of women in this country, she was happy to take my name. She would be horrified if our family had different names.

unholyangel

Zandoni wrote: »

My wife is like the majority of women in this country, she was happy to take my name. She would be horrified if our family had different names.

Why?

Would it change the way any of you felt about each other? Would it make you better parents? Would it make your kids more intelligent? Perhaps it would make you more wealthy? Or ensure that you will never ever get divorced? No?

Then I can't see what there is to be horrified about.

Is she going to be equally horrified when your children marry and potentially change their name and her name will no longer be the same as theirs? Or what about her parents/siblings, is she horrified that her name is different from theirs?