Wife taking surname

michelle09

consumers_revenge wrote: »

Spoken like a true romantic......

From the guy who no longer feels like getting married because his girlfriend expressed an opinion that he doesn't agree with?

I'll be honest, my husband wasn't thrilled when I told him I had no intention of switching to his name. But ultimately he said it was my name and therefore my choice. There was never any insinuation that our relationship meant any less. Marriage is a legal lifetime commitment and the name is only a small part of it.

We have stopped using a whole host of traditions so it's not a good answer. Did any of the men who believe a woman should always change her name also collect a dowry from their wife's family?

Zandoni

michelle09 wrote: »

We have stopped using a whole host of traditions so it's not a good answer. Did any of the men who believe a woman should always change her name also collect a dowry from their wife's family?

Did any of the women who wouldn't change their name collect a nice big engagement ring?

LilElvis

Zandoni wrote: »

Did any of the women who wouldn't change their name collect a nice big engagement ring?

Yes indeedy! Bespoke ring - 1 carat & 2 half carat diamonds (v good quality stones - D/E & VVSI) set in platinum. Cost the price of a new, small car. It's lovely and sparkly!

Husband paid 50% as a deposit and, before you get on your high horse, I paid the balance because I was the one who went to collect it and because, as we were marrying, our money would be pooled anyway.

Zandoni

LilElvis wrote: »

Yes indeedy! Bespoke ring - 1 carat & 2 half carat diamonds (v good quality stones - D/E & VVSI) set in platinum. Cost the price of a new, small car. It's lovely and sparkly!

Husband paid 50% as a deposit and, before you get on your high horse, I paid the balance because I was the one who went to collect it and because, as we were marrying, our money would be pooled anyway.

There's no high horse here, I'm just responding to the dowry question. Yes lot's of traditional things have eroded away but the majority of the people in this country want the same surname when they get married. That may change in the future or it may not.
As a man it can get very confusing, when we meet some extreme feminists who may get insulted if you hold the door open for them.

I am 100% behind equality but sometimes it goes too far. If I was in a burning building and a female firefighter wanted to carry me down a ladder, I think I'd panic.Women don't have the physical strength to do this type of job. But I'd happily fly around the world with a female pilot as this job doesn't take that type of strength.

LilElvis

Zandoni wrote: »

There's no high horse here, I'm just responding to the dowry question. Yes lot's of traditional things have eroded away but the majority of the people in this country want the same surname when they get married. That may change in the future or it may not.
As a man it can get very confusing, when we meet some extreme feminists who may get insulted if you hold the door open for them.

I am 100% behind equality but sometimes it goes too far. If I was in a burning building and a female firefighter wanted to carry me down a ladder, I think I'd panic.Women don't have the physical strength to do this type of job. But I'd happily fly around the world with a female pilot as this job doesn't take that type of strength.

What on earth has this got to do with a woman choosing to retain her surname after marriage? Do you think that all women who do so are bra-burning, man-hating, loony feminists straight out of a cartoon? If we were do you think we would be entering into marriage, as it's an ancient, patriarchal construct?

Zandoni

LilElvis wrote: »

What on earth has this got to do with a woman choosing to retain her surname after marriage? Do you think that all women who do so are bra-burning, man-hating, loony feminists straight out of a cartoon? If we were do you think we would be entering into marriage, as it's an ancient, patriarchal construct?

No of course not, but some are.

Mrs_Soup

Zandoni wrote: »

So confusing though if she chooses Mrs then people will think she is married to someone else.

But if you become Mrs (husbands name) you have the same name as your mother in law in many cases so that is no less confusing,

moneyistooshorttomention

...Think we should start playing the theme tune from Jaws (duh...dum...duh...dum) by now.

Post no. 36 on this thread from Zandoni is probably due to appear any minute now - coming soon to a thread from us....

Goodness knows - it's the only thread he's been posting on since 24 December.....:rotfl::rotfl:

Siriki

I don't think it makes any difference whether she takes your name, either you're both committed to each other or you're not (but then the same applies to getting married IMHO)

Ames

consumers_revenge wrote: »

Spoken like a true romantic......

Stick around and you'll see plenty of threads by people who think it's about a big party, tradition, love, romance... and are shocked to find out that they've actually entered into a legal contract.