help re baby sleep (merged)

alwaysonthego_2

Both my dd's co-slept with me untl they were 2 and easily settled in their bed. I hated the control crying method, I believe it is an harsh method and could leave the infant feeling insecure. A nice, soft easy aproach is what I took, I believe it is called the moving chair method, where you calm the child down but each day you move further away from them whilst they're in their cot.

Mips

All babies will sleep in their cots

You just have to stick with the routine - as upsetting as it is for all involved.

anonymousie

Just to back up what others have said, if co sleeping works and you are happy with it as a low stress, happy baby=happy mum option that is fine, and it does work!!

We part co slept with all our 3 really on the "what ever works" theory- DD1 being the most demanding and DD2 (3rd child) the least BUT DD2 shared a room with her siblings, so was never "on her own".

Even DD1 settled to her own cot before a year without too much trauma and non of them have been using our bed as a comfort zone long term so that isn't inevitable either.

What I really think is a bad idea is letting them fall asleep downstairs and carrying them up-that way madness (and long term bedtime chaos!) lies!

cheeks

our ds slept with us til he was 2, at which point we decided he was getting too big to be sharing, so i did as 'alwaysonthego' says, layed with him while he went to sleep the first couple of nights, then sat on the bed the next couple of nights, and moved further away each night after that and it worked a treat, obviously as your son is in a cot, laying with him isn't possible but perhaps he'd be comforted knowing you are sitting in there while he falls asleep.
When dd came along we decided not to let her sleep with us at all because ds couldn't understand why she got to share our bed but he had to sleep alone. From about 4mths we had a terrible time with her, she was waking every hour most nights and i was at my wits end. I couldn't stand the thought of 'controlled crying' incase there really was something wrong with her or incase she felt insecure. In the end, at about 9 mths i had to do something about it, so i took her to an osteopath, i was very sceptical but was willing to try anything, and after 3 sessions she was sleeping thru the night in her own cot! well worth the £115 it cost!

Paparika

anonymousie wrote: »

Just to back up what others have said, if co sleeping works and you are happy with it as a low stress, happy baby=happy mum option that is fine, and it does work!!

We part co slept with all our 3 really on the "what ever works" theory- DD1 being the most demanding and DD2 (3rd child) the least BUT DD2 shared a room with her siblings, so was never "on her own".

Even DD1 settled to her own cot before a year without too much trauma and non of them have been using our bed as a comfort zone long term so that isn't inevitable either.

What I really think is a bad idea is letting them fall asleep downstairs and carrying them up-that way madness (and long term bedtime chaos!) lies!

I quite agree with you, the arguments i had and the thumps that followed too, once the ex left i explained to my son that he was a big boy now and he needed to go to bed, he took to it like duck to water.

RustyFlange

Dippychick wrote: »

All babies will sleep in their cots

You just have to stick with the routine - as upsetting as it is for all involved.

Sorry I disagree! ... My son went into a cot at 4 months old, he was hell in there ... I persevered with the whole controlled crying ... he used to make himself sick, throw everything out of the cot would scream til he turned blue amongst a whole load of other things. In them 3 months I barely slept, used to have a nap when he did during the day (not in his cot!) It got to the stage where even the health visitor was baffled as he was generally a good sleeper! ... in the end after almost 4 months of sleep and distress (can't say i didn't try!) I put him in a bed. yes he was too young for a bed but it was either kill him through the screaming and crying or put him in a bed and ensure if he fell out he would have a soft landing. I turned the top bunk around after removing the ladder and pushed that edge up against the wall so all other 3 sides of the bed had ready made bed guards! He never fell out once and slept like a log right through the night and sometimes would not wake up til nearly dinnertime!!!

So I disagree not every child will sleep in a cot no matter how much you persevere!

Rachie_B

Gingham_Ribbon wrote: »

I couldn't do controlled crying and my lad was waking me sometimes as many as 30 times a night. I got help from the baby whisperer forum. Honestly, very sound, sensible, kind advice that WORKS.

There's more to it but the basics were that my husband went to him (because I breastfed) and just cuddled him, patted him and reassured him, then put him down, picking him back up if he cried again. It was one hard night, one night when he woke up once and the third (or fourth) night he started sleeping through. And no leaving him thinking he'd been abandoned and no heartbreak for me listing to unanswered screaming.

:eek: you must have been shattered

I prefer the rapid return technique,so baby / child doesnt have much time to get really distressed before you return

the key to both methods IMO, is no eye contact,dim lighting and voice
and be consistant so baby knows the routine!

Rachie_B

Deleted_User wrote: »

I don't have a problem getting my 18 month old off to sleep or staying asleep since we did controlled crying when he was 11 months old.

However, i do have a question. My son has 2 bottles a day, morning and bedtime. He drinks these himself, but when I have tried in the past to put the milk in his tommy tippee beaker he won't drink it, that's where water comes from apparently. Milk comes from bottles. I clean his teeth before bed and after breakfast, so is there any reason why i should force this issue yet? Is there a difference really between sucking a bottle or sucking a tommy tippee spout?

PS, he also finds his bottle still a comfort. Plus his little sister has a bottle as she's 3 months old, I think it would be hard for him to see her have one and not himself. Finding this with his dummy at mo too.

IMO no not a problem

although as a compromise, you could try a soft spouted cup / bottle ,so its closer to a bottle ( teat) than a hard beaker ?

used one with my eldest son no problem

my youngest however LOVED his bottle, and it was a real battle to get him to give it up!
went cold turkey in the end ,and it wasnt too bad TBH,he asked for it for 2 nights ( crying ) but after that was happy to have his before bed milk,in a cup

astonsmummy

I had the same problem until my son was 18 months, i knew he was waking up out of habit for the milk but it took me a while to pluck up the courage to sort it out.
I just stopped giving milk in a bottle, and switched to water, he did winge a bit but it wasn't an all night thing he adjusted quite easily.
I wish I had just stopped him going to sleep with the bottle at all alot earlier.
I only took the bottle of him fully at the beggining of this year (he's 4 )
I do not give him a drink before bedtime now either, there is no need for it and it stops him wetting the bed.

immy

thanks a lot for all replies. much appreciated.

in particular..will try the 'moving chair' method suggested by onthego and see if that helps. i can put up with the crying but it was the being sick each night that was hard to deal with as he was obviously distressed. so i guess i just stuck him in bed with me to make life easier for all of us!!

if the moving chair method doesn't work then i'll try turning his cot into bed mode and see if that helps.

if all else fails dh can sleep in cot when we have arguments!