help re baby sleep (merged)

fishingcinema

hi i really need some advice as im pulling my hair out my 16 month old who used to be a good sleeper has always fallen asleep by herself has now decided that she will still fall asleep by herself but after about 3 hours wakes up screaming i mean reall screaming and it dose not matter wether or not you get her up or leave her in her cot she still screams she is going to bed about 7 and by 10 she is up screaming untill 2,3,4 am and waking her older sister who 2yr 4month up too i really do not know what to do its really starting to affect us all kids so tired they just whinge all day and im walking round like a zombie shes not teething so i really dont understand whats up and to top it all off she stayed with her nan fri night do u think she woke up screaming noooooo so i thought mabey its a protest to her cot i will try a travel cot like she had at her nans any difference no,so please any suggestions,tips has this happened to you and what did you do i would really appreciate anythingthanks

mummy_Jay

Is something happening at that time of night, i.e. a neighbour starting car or something, heating turning off, dog barking? Anything thats making a noise or turning a light on that comes into the room.

fishingcinema

no the hall way light is on when i put them to bed and we havnt had to have the heating on yet we are in a flat with one above and one below so get there heat but im not aware of any noises waking her

samf1971

Have you tried all the usual's, wet nappy, thirsty, cold/warm etc etc. My little boy went through a period of this a while ago & we came to the conclusion that they were just night terrors, he does it now occasionally and can't be consoled, I just sit with him for a while but he goes back to sleep eventually

dollop

has she got all her teeth? if not perhaps its her teeth comming through,if she has them all then i havent got a clue hun but good luck anyhow xxx

positivelymummy

firstly, i sympathise with you, babies crying all night drive you insane! ((hug))! mine cried all day and night (with colic) and i could have easily packed my bag and gone to a hotel some nights!...what is it you do when she does wake up in the night? do you cuddle her/pick her up/talk to her etc? this might not be any help but this advice was given to me by my step mum who was a Health Visistor, bit long winded..sorry!

tell yourself you are gonna be awake for hours in the night over the next 7 days, so when she does wake up, get a cup of tea etc dont try and do anything just to get back into bed, (thats what i tried to do!) anyway, when she wakes up, go into the room, (no lights on) go up to her cot, don;t give any eye contact just make sure she's safe (i.e. leg's not stuck in the cot etc) pat her gently or stroke her and say "ssshhh or night night etc" and go out of the room again, yep she;ll be screaming, ignore that, go sit down with you cup of tea and get a clock, after 3 or 4 minutes go back and do exactly the same as the first time (yep she'll still be crying no doubt) leave the room, wait the 3 or 4 mins and repeat, and repeat and repeat!!! she will eventually start to understand that when you come in, its just for 30 seconds etc, prob take about an hour, but eventually she will start to understand, my step mum explained babies have no concept of time, all they really understand is routine and repetition, so her routine right now is to wake up, cry, get cuddled/get attention etc, so by doing the above, you are re-teaching a new routine, it wont happen over night, she might keep doing it, but my step mum claims you never ever have to do it more than 7 nights before they learn. it worked for me after 3 days, i know it sounds harsh and i hated listening to my one crying, i felt so cruel sometimes, but i hung on in there and always got a cup of tea and sat in the kitchen and watched the clock until the 4 mins was up she learnt that when i came into her room i wasn;t going to pick her up, take her into my bed etc, she learnt, oh here's mum she'll stroke my head and say night night and i'll go back to sleep!!!

fishingcinema

yes tried all the usuals its just so odd as she has always been good but i suppose she is just trying to see what she can get away with lol

samf1971 wrote: »

Have you tried all the usual's, wet nappy, thirsty, cold/warm etc etc. My little boy went through a period of this a while ago & we came to the conclusion that they were just night terrors, he does it now occasionally and can't be consoled, I just sit with him for a while but he goes back to sleep eventually

fishingcinema

no she has not got all yet she has most of them i thought that at first but a few nights i gave her caulpole and nurofen with no difference and she has not really been chewing or dribling or had any of her usual teething symtoms and to be honest she has never really sufferd with her teeth

dollop wrote: »

has she got all her teeth? if not perhaps its her teeth comming through,if she has them all then i havent got a clue hun but good luck anyhow xxx

fishingcinema

i tried this with my eldest as i made the stupid mistake of leting her sleep in the bed with me from a young age she suffered terribly with colic i even took her to the hospital one night because i just did not know what was wrong with her and being my first was concerned. she has only been in a cot for about six months also she never has slept through the night not once i know this sounds hard to beleive but she has not i gave up in the end because she just used to scream louder and louder untill she made herself sick pluss i was weak lolbut i definatly think its worth a try with my youngest as she crys if i leave her and she crys if i get her up unllike my eldest who used to stop when i got her upi have tried laying with her and rubing her head and saying shhh mummys here she goes quiet for a min but then screams again

positivelymummy wrote: »

firstly, i sympathise with you, babies crying all night drive you insane! ((hug))! mine cried all day and night (with colic) and i could have easily packed my bag and gone to a hotel some nights!...what is it you do when she does wake up in the night? do you cuddle her/pick her up/talk to her etc? this might not be any help but this advice was given to me by my step mum who was a Health Visistor, bit long winded..sorry!

tell yourself you are gonna be awake for hours in the night over the next 7 days, so when she does wake up, get a cup of tea etc dont try and do anything just to get back into bed, (thats what i tried to do!) anyway, when she wakes up, go into the room, (no lights on) go up to her cot, don;t give any eye contact just make sure she's safe (i.e. leg's not stuck in the cot etc) pat her gently or stroke her and say "ssshhh or night night etc" and go out of the room again, yep she;ll be screaming, ignore that, go sit down with you cup of tea and get a clock, after 3 or 4 minutes go back and do exactly the same as the first time (yep she'll still be crying no doubt) leave the room, wait the 3 or 4 mins and repeat, and repeat and repeat!!! she will eventually start to understand that when you come in, its just for 30 seconds etc, prob take about an hour, but eventually she will start to understand, my step mum explained babies have no concept of time, all they really understand is routine and repetition, so her routine right now is to wake up, cry, get cuddled/get attention etc, so by doing the above, you are re-teaching a new routine, it wont happen over night, she might keep doing it, but my step mum claims you never ever have to do it more than 7 nights before they learn. it worked for me after 3 days, i know it sounds harsh and i hated listening to my one crying, i felt so cruel sometimes, but i hung on in there and always got a cup of tea and sat in the kitchen and watched the clock until the 4 mins was up she learnt that when i came into her room i wasn;t going to pick her up, take her into my bed etc, she learnt, oh here's mum she'll stroke my head and say night night and i'll go back to sleep!!!

[Deleted User]

PositivelyMummy gives the best and hardest advice, i have yet to try that one, but I know that one day I will have to as my soon to be 11 month old is probably heading that way.

A short term solution to give you a night's sleep to prepare you for PM's advice could be to give her some Medised for 1-3 nights to break the habit. Its a paracetamol painkiller with some form of baby sedative in. It doesn't say sedative just "aids restful sleep". You have to be VERY careful you don't become reliant on it to make them sleep through as its not teaching them how to, its just offering you a night's sleep to help cope when things get tough. My neighbour uses it every now and again and gave me some to try last week when i'd got to the end of my teather. I gave it to my son 3 nights running and it did break his night habit. Its not foolproof as it some nights on and some nights he's fine.

I need to buck up the courage to do what PM suggests as I know this is the only way and its best done before my daughter is born in Feb. I will choose a friday night, so DH and I have the weekend to recover.

Good luck, your not alone.

fishingcinema

someone sugguested medised for my eldest and unfortunaltly it never worked as i said she has never slept through the night my friend also gave me some phenergans to try with my eldest this is a perscription only and is supposed to really help with sleep our parents used to use this on us as kids but even that never worked if anything it made her hyperbut i must admit i thought about buying another bottle of medised to try on my youngest today if she is the same tonight i think i will give it a go as i am really feeling drained now

Deleted_User wrote: »

PositivelyMummy gives the best and hardest advice, i have yet to try that one, but I know that one day I will have to as my soon to be 11 month old is probably heading that way.

A short term solution to give you a night's sleep to prepare you for PM's advice could be to give her some Medised for 1-3 nights to break the habit. Its a paracetamol painkiller with some form of baby sedative in. It doesn't say sedative just "aids restful sleep". You have to be VERY careful you don't become reliant on it to make them sleep through as its not teaching them how to, its just offering you a night's sleep to help cope when things get tough. My neighbour uses it every now and again and gave me some to try last week when i'd got to the end of my teather. I gave it to my son 3 nights running and it did break his night habit. Its not foolproof as it some nights on and some nights he's fine.

I need to buck up the courage to do what PM suggests as I know this is the only way and its best done before my daughter is born in Feb. I will choose a friday night, so DH and I have the weekend to recover.

Good luck, your not alone.