help re baby sleep (merged)

Carmina_Piranha_3

My mum works overnight in asda and she gets to know quite a few newborn babies :rotfl:

Walking away for a few minutes isn't bad advice. They're not going to hurt themselves if they're safe, and a little less stress in the parent will mean a little less stress that baby picks up on. Of course I was given this advice but never followed it because I was just too stressed to realise that it was a good idea

Jo_R_2

The first sling I bought was a hug-a-bub, which I got a video (LOL!) of how to use it. It's basically a very long piece of material that you wrap over your shoulders and around your body, tie at the front and baby kinda 'slots' into it on your front. Their bum is supported where the sling crosses over, and for little babies you can tuck their heads into one side when they're asleep (very cute!)

http://www.hugabub.com/ shows you this particular one (the pink colour is just luscious!)

Also both of mine used to turn over in their sleep onto their sides or front - even now #1 is 4 and she *still* manoeuvres into the foetal 'lying on front with knees drawn up to chest' position - and #2 does exactly the same!

And to dippychick - babies can be 'slung' on your back, not just front!

foreversomeday

Jo_R wrote: »

The first sling I bought was a hug-a-bub, which I got a video (LOL!) of how to use it. It's basically a very long piece of material that you wrap over your shoulders and around your body, tie at the front and baby kinda 'slots' into it on your front. Their bum is supported where the sling crosses over, and for little babies you can tuck their heads into one side when they're asleep (very cute!)

http://www.hugabub.com/ shows you this particular one (the pink colour is just luscious!)

Also both of mine used to turn over in their sleep onto their sides or front - even now #1 is 4 and she *still* manoeuvres into the foetal 'lying on front with knees drawn up to chest' position - and #2 does exactly the same!

And to dippychick - babies can be 'slung' on your back, not just front!

I have a sling ready for baby which I made myself - I just bought a length of material from a fabric shop and cut it down to size - because it was Jersey cotton no sewing was even needed!

However the wrap slings are possibly a bit of a steep learning curve with a very fussy baby or if you don't have much patience - I got one because they are so much more versatile than the other kinds and I don't like the idea of a baby bjorn, there are worries about them compressing tiny babies' spines.

If you want a very quick and easy one though I'd look at pouch slings or even better ring slings - these are adjustable and versatile, but easy to use as well.

Have a look at the website https://www.thebabywearer.com, if you have time!

Jo_R_2

The wrap slings do take a bit of learning don't they - but once you know, you *never* forget! People do look in wonderment when you're flinging this big bit of fabric here, there and everywhere though:D

I remember many a time dozing off with #1 and 2 asleep on my front, sat on sofa, after being stressed out because they wouldn't stop crying...

I've never done the 'making' a wrap myself. I'm a bit fussy about what they look like and like them all hemmed and whatnot

Babywearer is a great site btw!

badgerbread

I think it depends on why baby is upset I've had 3 and all were different 1st one was a dream and slept thorugh from day 1 second took a bit longer but just loved being held constantly third was a nightmare even up to 5 years old but we have since found out the reason for this was he was having night terrors and we were not helping by getting aggitated trying to work out what was wrong as it all seems so simple when you know what the problem is. he is now 7 and sleeps with very little problem on an odd occasion though he will still have night terrors the only thing we can do is try to calm him down and be very patient with him. It was very hard work though and took us forever to work out what was wrong with him.

kittiej

If your baby sleeps in the day but not at night then her body clock is out.

Don't let her sleep through the day. Do it gradually though, you don't want to be cruell lol.

It'll be the same when she's older and you try to get her out of having an afternoon nap.

Hope you get sleep soon. Have you got any relatives that can help?

You have my sympathies.

evilwitch

Hi

Congratulations on the birth of your baby. I've a 6wk old myself so can totally sympathise with the trials and joy they bring to the family. I've a rather fussy/crying baby, she has not yet settled into life which will take some time. Its a big shock and change to come from their nice safe and warn womb environment into the noise, light and temperature changes in the big wide world. They're used to being able to touch the edges of their world yet all of a sudden they're out and expected to settle in a huge alien place. When you really think about it, its not surprising it takes a while to get used to.

Anyway some of the things I've found worked with my little girl:

• sharing a bath, obviously not too hot or for too long so they don't get cold. If baby is breastfed its a nice place to feed as the water comforts them plaus being close to mummy and being able to participate in their favorite passtime. Its baby bliss really!
• skin to skin. Strip off baby to nappy and mummy/daddy to waist and just cuddle
• Going into garden and looking at the plants moving
• Swaddling. We use a muslin so she doesn't get too hot and wrap her up so tight. Some babies prefer to have one arm loose whilst others like both inside. Only found this accidentally after I tied her up to stop her hands going in her mouth whilst trying to feed her. She fed and settled like a dream.
• Slinging. Not one of the carriers Mothercare sell, they don't offer proper support and baby soon becomes too heavy. We use a Moby wrap (got mine from www.sasaslings.co.uk). Its a long piece of jersey that wraps round and baby gets inserted into the folds. There are various carries that you change between according to age/development of baby. Friends have used this type of carrier upto about a year old before going onto something like a babyhawk, although you can use this from newborn. Another bonus with slings are that you can do skin to skin with the baby around the house with them nice and close. With practice you can even breastfeed in a sling!
• We co-sleep. Not reccommended by health professionals but its the only way she willsettle at night. She likes to be close to us and gets upset to be separated. There are guidelines to minimise the risks which we follow
• try to sleep when baby does. Even if you can't sleep just having some quiet relaxing time can make you feel much more refreshed and human

As for sleepless nights, they come with the territory, remember your baby is waking as they need to wake. They are not working against you or torturing you for fun. Its a steep learning curve. We keep nights as boring as possible (no tv or talking during feeds, dim lights and minimal interaction with her) whereas daytime is full of stimulation. There is no magical solutionto making a baby sleep at night. They will when they are developmentally ready and not before.

As for a previous poster saying its okay to let them cry. I disagree. A newborn baby is crying as something isn't right in their world and they are looking to you to put it right. Letting them cry unneccessarily only teaches them that they can't rely on the people they trust to come to them. A newborn hasn't got the developmental capacity to 'play you off' and you can't spoil them by responding to their needs. Obviously there are times when you have to let them cry (strapped into car seat/whilst you are in middle of shower/toilet visit and they start as you have to finish what you are doing before safely attending to them). This all stems from a parenting style called attachment parenting.

Last of all remember that this stage won't last forever and you need to adapt to their needs and not expect them to slot into your life with no fuss.

Savvy_Sue

I've merged this into our existing thread on baby sleep problems, you'll soon see you're not alone!

foreversomeday

Jo_R wrote: »

The wrap slings do take a bit of learning don't they - but once you know, you *never* forget! People do look in wonderment when you're flinging this big bit of fabric here, there and everywhere though:D

I remember many a time dozing off with #1 and 2 asleep on my front, sat on sofa, after being stressed out because they wouldn't stop crying...

I've never done the 'making' a wrap myself. I'm a bit fussy about what they look like and like them all hemmed and whatnot

Babywearer is a great site btw!

I'd just warn people that at our antenatal classes we were told strictly never to put ourselves in a position where we might fall asleep on the sofa with a baby, it's actually safer to lie down in an adult bed with them if they won't sleep alone (keep adult duvets away from baby though) because on a sofa they can fall between the cushions and get smothered far too easily. I think it's something to do with the sleeping position of the adult - in a bed you won't roll over on them because of instincts, (you don't roll out of bed, do you?) but on a sofa you're likely to be sitting or in an awkward position.

As for making a wrap, stretchy fabrics don't fray so they are so easy to make and look neat - I can't sew for toffee! :rotfl: The stretchy wraps are only suitable until baby gets too heavy though - then you're better off with a good quality woven wrap.

Katgoddess

Just wanted to add my sympathies. My 3 month old is a screamer. He has improved though. I spent the first few weeks pacing the house with him day and night. Now it's just the day. :rolleyes: But he does have a lot more happy moments now. He is mostly ok if I am paying 100% attention to him. :eek:

Take pictures of him/her asleep looking angelic. That will help get you through the bad moments.

Have a google for "high needs" baby. This is the PC term for screamers. :rotfl: Dr Sears website is good.

There is a thread I started on Old Style about food and housework with a new baby called "desperate housewife and new mum" with lots of tips.

When they get to six weeks and smile for the first time your heart will melt and everything will be worth it. (Trying not to cry here as I remember that first smile. )

Remember the mantra, "This too shall pass."

Good luck xxx