help re baby sleep (merged)

kay41_2

I've just remembered something which is such a part of my daughter's routine I didn't think to mention it! We have 2 cds by Relax Kids (about £15 each on the internet) and they are miracle workers. They are short little scenarios read by an Indian lady with a lovely gentle voice and last for about 2-3 mins each. We have Princesses and Super Heroes. It's good old fashioned meditation, 'imagine you are a mermaid, swimming in the deep blue ocean, shoals of multicoloured fish etc'. I'm not sure about waking in the midle of the night, but they sure work when she is buzzy after a day's play/school. No joke most evenings she is aslepp within minutes. If she occasionally wakes in the middle of the night she asks for her cd back on and soon drops off again. Might be worth a try! Her Year 1 teacher introudced me as a way of getting the whole class to calm down, and they all used to lie around on cushions and listen to a few tracks. They were such a lively class I couldn't believe they all calmed down so much!

jpwhittle

i really do know how you feel. my little boy was exactlty the same at 11 months and i couldnt take it i was constantly screaming at him wich didnt help. it got to the stage we couldnt go to bed without him waking and screaming for 3 hours. i would suggest controlled crying but dont go back as regulaly as the book says. i know that sounds harsh but noah learnt we would go back and adjusted his crying accordingly. he even made himself sick on purpose so id go back to him and get him out of bed.
in the end we left him and if he was sick we left it. not to be cruel but he would sleep up the top end of his bed and be sick down the bottom and it was never alot of sick. we would go back after 10 to 20 minutes but found hed given up and after 3 nights the tantrums stopped along with the purging. it was the best thing we ever did as he then slept really well.
i had pnd to so found it very hard.
recently noah started to be difficult again but he has been quite ill with a chesty cough. all started six months ago with a chest and throat infection. he got over that and wouldnt sleep at all so i took him to the doctors who said he was fine but the weekend after he ended up in hospital unable to walk. turned out he hadnt completely got over the cold and it had travelled giving him fluid on his hips. he was screaming cos he had arthritic pain in his hips. i cant bear to leave him since then so we sit with him why he goes to sleep. he is getting better at sl;eeping slowly. the last few nights we have heard him get up cry then go back to bed. i said id never let him come in our bed but now i do but only after a cetain time and hes getting better at not comin in till late. i figure people haave done it for years and on day he wont want to come to me any more so i make the most of it now.
sorry to have gone on just wanted to let you know there are people who understand fully and to offer some advice.

hev_2

All those ladies who have had problems with their little ones sleeping - please don't flame me!

My DS slept through til 5.30 from 3 months, usually sleeps through since, sometimes as late as 8 am.

It is nothing I have done, I have just been lucky. Christmas night when he wouldn't sleep til 4am I didn't have a clue how to go on.

The reason I have posted is that I strongly believe IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT and I just wanted to say that when you hear all those smug old bats telling you how their baby slept through since they came back from the hospital, they are not better mothers. It is just that their babies preferred to sleep more. It is nothing you are doing, it is just how the baby is being. I know for definite that I haven't done all the 'right' things.

Sorry I can't give more practical advice, just hope that you find a way to get it all sorted out soon.

apples1

Hi angel,
hope you got some sleep last night. I would love to recommend a book which I found invaluable (as did many others who i suggested it to). The Secrets of The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg. It's written fby an english lady for the american market so take the odd "lovie" with a pinch of salt. The advice is absolutely 100% sound and easy to follow. It does a much milder sleep training than controlled crying but it really works. There is a section called accidental parenting too to help you get out of traps you didn't mean to fall into (e.g rocking baby to sleep or playing music so now they can't sleep without it). You don't need props (dummies, CDs, radios, brandy) just simple teaching. I owe my sanity to that book. Luckily for me The Baby Whisperer for Toddlers was published just as mine grew into the next stage.

Sadly Tracy Hogg died (of cancer I think) a couple of years back. I read so many baby and childcare books and would not pass comment on any except hers. Good luck.

Gingham_Ribbon

Oh honey, I know how you feel. My son is 11 months and in our bed with us. He won't sleep in his cot and consequently, I have to stay in the bed with him from his bed time - ie about 7.30 (incase he falls out.) It is not doing wonders for our evenings. As for the nights...oh dear oh dear. He was awake from midnight last night (the fireworks woke us all.) He didn't go back to sleep till gone 5am.

I am breastfeeding and he nips on and off all night, but each time he wakes me up and I find it hard to get back to sleep. I counted recently how many times he fed - it was over 30 times.

What's keeping me sane is that my husband works from home and if it's been a bad night he can let me have a bit of a lie in in the morning. The other thing keeping me sane is that DS1 goes to nursery for a couple of hours every day and the baby happens to have timed his nap at the same time - so either I can sleep or have some time with DH.

Ask for help. Friends can babysit so you can have a break, Health visitors can suggest strategies etc. Don't suffer it alone.

TEENY

immoral_angeluk wrote: »

Well it's 6.37 am and I've been online since 6am. Have been awake since 4.30 with K. she's 11 months and STILL isn't sleeping through. We got her into bed with us but she wouldn't sleep and the crunch came when DH lost his temper so I brought her downstairs. Had enough now. I'm rubbish when I'm tired with a short fuse and no patience. I've not long gotten over postnatal depression and if this doesn't get sorted out soon I can see me ending up back on the anti d's. I'm run down and feeling low which isn't good. I don't even know whats wrong with her... this current situation has been going on for weeks now and I just don't know what to do, before that she'd either wake up and settle herself or we'd give her a dummy and she'd go back to sleep but now it's all gone pear shaped.. Last night she kicked off at 11.30 so we gave her a bottle and thought that would sort her out. But nope. she woke up 2 or 3 times before it all kicked off at 4.30am. It's not her teeth as she's fine all day. Her eczema is fine at the moment... she wasn't hungry... I just don't know what to do and it's pushing ste and I to breaking point.
We've also got a nearly 3 year old who's slepe is suffering as well. I would do controlled crying but it's just going to be hell for her....
:wall::(

I have 2 kids and the youngest is 14 months and he still does not sleep through the night either an di have to get up with him as my boyf works 6 til 5.30 so i dont think its fair to keep him awake all night(he does have him on a sunday when he doesnt work tho). I know exactly how you feel it is frustrating, but in time she will sleep. I know this because my eldest was the same and he just did it one day, i woke up in the morning in a complete panic as i was sure something was wrong !!! I am sure that my littlest angel will follow suit one day and it is that thought that keeps me going. Stick with it and good luck

cobbingstones

Hi Angel,

Oh how I remember the dread of each night knowing I would get so little sleep. I was a total wreak. But in my desperation I found two fantastic books which saved me. I will ask my dh to get them from the loft over the weekend and I'll send you the routines if you think they will help you.

Thinking of you.

MM

baron777red

hi there

me and my partner have a duaghter, amy, who is now 11 months old,

she is really good but has trouble staying asleep, what happens is that about 7pm we bath her then give her a bottle and put her to bed and the bottle sends her to sleep, but then within about half an hour she wakes up and then is a nightmare to get back to sleep, what am i doing wrong

she is at nursert 3 days and is eating well, she is teething a bit but i dont think thats the problem.

we have tried to leave her to cry for abit but it just seems cruel when she is screaming, she got herself so worked up last night she was sick, before finally going to sleep at 9.30, then she sleeps thru until the morning 7 or 8am

she is in her own room, we give her the bottle in there and dont bring her down if she starts crying, and sometimes have give calpol to try and calm her down.

anybody got any advice or tips? what should we be doing in the lead up to the bath? how can we make sure she stays asleep?

i would be very grateful for any advice,

thanks

colin

redruby

Hi colin,

I am no expert at all with regard to getting babies to sleep, my DD did not sleep through properly untill she went to school, she still does not need much sleep, infact she needs less than me, some children are just like this.

I did notice though that your daughter did go to sleep at 9.30 and sleep through, have you tried putting her to sleep a little bit later in the evening, say at 8 ? you could start the bath time routine at 7, bath bottle etc, then put her down at 8, it might just work.

What time is her afternoon nap ? maybe try doing this a bit earlier, so that she is shattered by bed time.

Everything else you are doing seems to be fine ie: keeping her in her room no stimulants etc.

Good luck and keep us posted

Karensteps

Is she maybe napping to late on in the day? Does she use a dummy?

I would try and put her down a bit later, she's maybe not tiring herself out enough by 7pm.
My daughter is 20months now, and when she was 11months, she'd never go to sleep until 11pm! Slept till 10am the next day...nightmare. My problem was she was having two kips throughout the day, one at noon, then again at about 4. I cut one of them out and it was perfect!