help re baby sleep (merged)

spendingmad

Hi I to did the "gina ford" routine but my children needed a soother. DD drinks herself to sleep like your child so she has a bottle filled with water and that seems to work (not as nice as milk so I dont have to refill during the night!) Good luck

Gingham_Ribbon

If she falls asleep while drinking, she might feel she needs the bottle to get to sleep. We all have sleep cycles and normally we will wake a little, but go straight back to sleep. Babies have to learn how to fall asleep on their own, without help. I've been using the baby whisperer book as my baby is the same age and we were having terrible problems (waking 30+ times a night to breast feed.) It's only been a few days but already he's gone to sleep without milk 3 evenings running and though I feed him on and off during the night, he does go to sleep on his own sometimes too.

I strongly recommend it. It focuses on listening to your baby, recognising the different cries, ways of telling you what they need and a gentle approach to sleep where the baby may cry but isn't left alone to scream.

squashy

I think every baby is different and you can't expect every baby to fall asleep at 7pm, some just don't! It seems to me your baby is giving you a cue that she wants to go to sleep at around 9pm so I would suggest going with that? It would sure save a lot of battles!

I am personally not a fan of Gina Fords method's (and that's putting it politely lol) and would recommend a book called The No Cry Sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley. It works by using various gentle tactics to help her baby to sleep. It's along the same lines as the baby whisperer as recommended by Gingham Ribbon above.

Be assured that she will get the rest she needs, either by catching up with longer naps in the day having a lie in at the weekend...but she may not need to, as I say all babies are different!!

Morty_007

I'm just dashing off to bed to get 2 hours before my DS wakes up for a cuddle so I hope this makes sense!

I couldn't bear to listen to him scream when I put him down to sleep and left the room so instead I put him down and sit in the room reading, not looking at him or interracting with him, just sitting. The first time he cried, looking at me and grabbing his bars but he calmed down after about 10 mins and then lay there and fell asleep gradually. The next time I tried it, he didn't cry at all, just lay looking at me read until he fell asleep. He even did it at 4am the other day!! *Proud Mummy* The next step is to gradually move chair closer to the door and eventually out onto landing. Important thing for me is that he learns to fall asleep on his own without any of us being traumatised!

Obviously if he becomes hysterical I try and pat him quiet and if that fails, cuddle and then breast feed at ongoing intervals. I think you have to be prepared to be flexible and realistic. Some nights he WILL be hungry so a breast feed is very appropriate.
This has helped us go from him waking up every 2 hours for a feed and nothing but a feed to waking 2 times a night max, only 1 of those for a feed.
Good luck and it WILL pass...I was at my wits end and felt like I didn't want to be a mummy any more 3 weeks ago because of sleep deprivation. Thats all changed now, my boy has a saner mummy and my hubby has his wife back.
x

baron777red

thanks again for all the comments

we tried to leave the bed routine until 8pm last nite, and it worked, but she still woke up at 4am, and we gave her a bottle

i agree with the people who say that all babies are different and need different amounts of sleep, obviously at least 12 hours a day.

i think our main problem is that we decided no to use a dummy, which has caused the problem that she needs something to sooth her off to slip which is why we give her milk, or sometimes water if she wakes up. we tried to introduce a dummy but she is not interested just bites it.

the only other problem i see is that she very rarely gets off to sleep herself in her cot on her own, its usually that we hav to get her off to sleep then put her in her cot.

any suggestions on how we could change this would be appreciated.

mrcow

baron777red wrote: »

the only other problem i see is that she very rarely gets off to sleep herself in her cot on her own, its usually that we hav to get her off to sleep then put her in her cot.

Okay, how much of a problem would you say that is?

I only ask because that's how my eldest was until he was two years old. He'd go to sleep on my lap with a bottle and we'd carry him up. Obviously he was an only child at the time. Once he got old enough to sit and listen to proper bedtime stories etc, we changed his routine and he took to it no problem. Ever since, he's a dream to put to bed (he's now six) and the early years had no impact, except I got lots of extra cuddles lol which I don't regret one jot now! (They grow up so fast).

I'm just trying to put some perspective on it.

My two daughters however do go off to sleep in their cots (my youngest is one month older than yours). They both have dummies and are given a bottle and a dummy in bed and they put themselves to sleep and have done so since six months (or even earlier).

The only way I can see that you're going to achieve the sleep thing is perseverance and trial and error. I find those sleeping bags things are good, as they discourage the child from standing up too easily and personally both the babies started with a dark routine. Does she (or would she) use a teddy, as it can very comforting too (my two would just play with it mind!)

Nicifer_noonoo

I'd recommend vapourising a little lavender and chamomile into the air in her room...it works for me

lucysmumwork

Hi there chick, you have obviously had loads of replies and everyones situation is different as every baby is different, but I would echo some of the above and say whatever you do stick to exactly the same routine every night, its easy to let them have ten mins more, or miss out bath time, and apparently it takes 3 nights to get OUT the routine, 21 to get back IN...!!!!! My dd is generally a good sleeper but in times of wakefulness we are just strict and do the routine regardless, unless she is ill or something, and she ends up settling. It is heartbreaking leaving them to cry I know and I would personally not leave it more than say 10 mins but it is so true that if you give in once they will cry harder the next night and for longer! I just think I know my daughter will try it yeah but she does not cry for this period without something being up, you know your own baby and what their cries mean. The best advice is try putting your baby to bed a little later and try not to let her nod off with the bottle. I have always put my dd in to her cot awake (well apart from when she was newborn and we did ANYthing to get her off) and this was the best advice I was given. Hugs (((())))) and hope she settles soon.

baron777red

hi mrcow

its good to know there are other people who have had the same experiences, we thought it was us and we were being too soft letting her fall asleep with the bottle and in my arms, she just wont go to sleep in her cot on her own. but i guess as they get older and understand more that will change.

she doesnt have a teddy, she would just bite it, anything we give her is straight in the mouth, but she has already got about 4 or 5 teeth, and more coming through so it natural i suppose.

were going to perservere with getting her in bed between 8 and 8.30 that seems to work.

thanks

Welshlassie

...so I can return to work and stay awake.

My gorgeous son is 5 and a bit months old. He is a really sunny, happy baby and loves his food. I started weaning at 15 and half weeks because he was so hungry and he is now on 3 meals a day. Since he was born he has only ever slept through until 7am twice and they were more luck than judgement and the last time was over 3 months ago.

I am going back to work full time in just over 4 weeks and really need him to start sleeping through. Until 3 weeks ago he was waking at least twice a night. My DH and I managed to get him to drop the 1:30am wake, so now he just wakes once (usually) between 3:15 and 5:30. Twice this week he has gone back to sleep without a feed so i know he can do it, and I'm beginning to think he is waking out of habit. I'm tearing my hair out trying to work out how to get him to do it.

He's too young to try controlled crying and that would just disturb my husband who has to get up for work.

I'll detail my bedtime routine and hopefully someone can suggest something I haven't tried that may work.

He has his dinner around 5:50 (usually a chicken and veg meal followed by a fruit based pudding), play/time with Dad until around 6:20, bath, change for bed, breastfeed with lullaby. He usually falls awake during his feed and I then put him down. I know he should go down awake to settle himself, but once he's asleep there's no waking him. Usually asleep by 7-7:15. If he does go down awake about 50% of the time he can settle himself to sleep, the remaining 50% he screams and cries until you pick him up to settle him over your shoulder.

He then has a bottle (about 5oz) at 11pm, until 2 days ago this was expressed milk, but in preparation for me going back to work and to try and get him to sleep through I have given him formula. He takes this asleep and goes back down with no problems.

He then usually wakes between 3:15 and 5:30, I tend to leave him a few minutes to try to settle himself, but usually have to go into him. I've tried rubbing his tummy and shhhing but it doesn't work and he needs picking up to settle. It can take anywhere upto an hour to get him back down.

Please help I'm at my wits end and I'm beginning to panic about going back to work if I'm still having to wake for so long at night.