help re baby sleep (merged)

Rachie_B

dad-of-4 wrote: »

in what way is it dangerous? Proof please.

it can / does casue choking

"sleeping through" can mean different things to people ramellous ,

theres the magic 12 hours 7pm - 7am eg

but for many you could say 11pm - 6am is sleeping through ie not waking for an additional feed after the 11pm one

so still a nice chunck of sleep inbetween last feed ( 11pm) and first feed of the day ( 6/7am)

Sharra

I'm sure some people will say I was a bad parent - but my son was an awful sleeper, at 5 1/2 months he was still waking 4 or 5 times a night and we were at our wits end and not coping at all.
We then read a baby magazine about how to get your baby to sleep through the night in a weekend. It was the leave them to cry tactic. Obviously make sure they aren't ill or anything before you try it, and start on a Friday night so a sleepless night doesn't matter so much.
The first night my son screamed for 2 hours, my OH had to sit by the bedroom door to stop me going in to him as I was almost hysterical about it. But by the monday he was sleeping through the night.
I don't know if I would have had the strength to do it if we weren't so desperate, it was awful at the time, but it worked.
He's now a strapping 13yr old and hasn't suffered any lasting damage.
One thought tho - if he's always put down in his cot when he's already asleep then he won't learn to go to sleep by himself and so won't go back to sleep if he stirs in the night.
At the end of the day, they must to learn to go to sleep by themselves.

dollydoodah

dad-of-4 wrote: »

in what way is it dangerous? Proof please.

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Most children seemed to thrive. A small number of children, though, did not tolerate the addition, because their sucking and swallowing actions were not yet fully coordinated. They inhaled small amounts of the rice cereal into their lungs, which led to pulmonary problems.[/FONT]
http://www.drgreene.com/21_861.html


Also:

Do not be tempted to add solid foods to your baby's bottle feed in an attempt to help them sleep at night, as this can cause wind and colic.

http://hcd2.bupa.co.uk/fact_sheets/html/baby_weaning.html

alexsmummy

Hi, my son is also 5 months and gets 3 meals a day. Like you, I gave him a dream feed at 11pm (9oz - as he drank it all I was sure he must be hungry). However, I recently felt that he was eating enough and getting 3 other milk feeds in the day and so it was time to see if he really did need it. I didn't just drop it though. Instead, I reduced it by 1oz a night. I decided that if he woke up early looking for milk then I'd stick with that volume for a few nights before trying to reduce it again. I was able to reduce it every night until I got to 2oz. I'd timed it so the next night was a Friday and on that Friday I dropped the feed altogether. He woke that night once but he settled after we stroked his face and gave him his dummy back (the fsid have evidence that it can help to reduce the risk of cot death if they are given a dummy each time they are settled to sleep and after my cousin woke twice to find her babies had died, I won't apologise for using one.) The same happened on Saturday night but after those two nights he has successfully slept through for 12 hours. And I swear it's my husband's alarms that wake him even then. (I'm aware that with growth spurts and changing needs as he gets older that he may start waking again but we'll deal with that in the way that feels right for us when that happens).

As for controlled crying, we eventually gave in and implemented this after swearing we wouldn't. By the third sleep he was crying for no more than 5 mins and within two days, he could settle himself to sleep. I know that my mum used this method for me and my two sisters, and I imagine that many of the other posters have also lived through this too. At last check, all of my family's brain connections appear to be in order.

I think sometimes we forget that we are the parents. We read the government guidelines and the advice of other (well-meaning) parents and we get swamped. Trust your instincts - they have been successfully guiding parents since cave men days.

Dormouse

Hi Welshlassie, good to 'see' you again! :hello:

As you know, my DS2 is the same age, and what you described sounds perfectly normal to me. At 5 months, a lot of babies will NOT sleep for 12 hours, and TBH when my LO wakes up between 3 and 5am, I count that as a good night, LOL! (He's usually up twice a night at the moment, although he is a bit snuffly so I can't blame him)

You're not doing anything wrong, and your routine sounds fine, so trust your instincts and do whatever is right for you and your family. :grouphug: You'll be fine - they all do sleep through eventually (my DS1 did at 6 months, pretty much of his own accord, so I'm hoping this one will too).

I'm BFing too BTW and I don't agree with the "breastfed babies will continue to wake up until they're weaned off the breast" logic :cool: It's the learning to go to sleep by themselves that is the crucial bit, IMHO.

PayPeanuts_2

I find a whiskey in the evening bottle works a treat. Good luck x

Welshlassie

ramellous1 wrote: »

I am a daddy to 18 month old and 4 month old girls. Can I ask what you mean by sleeping through.

I want him to sleep until around 7am.
When he wakes he's not actually awake, just crying in his sleep, eyes closed. Sometimes he will wake up and be wide awake, but not often.

He's not crying for a feed as when I do feed him, he only has 5 minutes and then falls asleep again, which says to me he wants more of a drink than being hungry. Therefore I have the bottle of water to hand and this does help get him back off, however it doesn't solve the issue of him waking at all.

As many times as people tell me to try controlled crying I just can't, I know there are other options out there that will work and I'm willing to try them, just need to find them. My HV is coming tomorrow to go through some of them with us.

He did actually sleep through for the first time on Monday night, went down as 6:40, work for his bottle at 10:20 and then slept until 6:30 when he stirred and then went back to sleep without any intervention from us until 7:15. Now I was really pleased and this would be wonderful, but it didn't happen last night. At least it has shown me that he can do it, so hopefully this will become a regular thing going forward soon.

Hi Dormouse, that's for your comments, I know to trust my instincts, but I really need him to be sleeping for a bit longer before I go back to work as I will be doing so much driving so need my sleep. I function ok for about 3 or 4 days on reduced sleep and then turn into the Wicked Witch of the West until I get at least a full night. Its not fair on everybody when I'm like that.

Dormouse

Welshlassie wrote: »

Hi Dormouse, that's for your comments, I know to trust my instincts, but I really need him to be sleeping for a bit longer before I go back to work as I will be doing so much driving so need my sleep. I function ok for about 3 or 4 days on reduced sleep and then turn into the Wicked Witch of the West until I get at least a full night. Its not fair on everybody when I'm like that.

I know what you mean. When I said to trust your instincts, I meant doing whatever you need to deal with this: some people will do nothing, some will do CCing, some try other methods - whatever works for you, as long as it's legal!

I guess broken nights are a bit easier for mums who stay at home, compared to those who have to go and work all day, especially if it involves driving.

I have to say I'm quite used to surviving on little sleep now, although normally I love my sleep (hence the dormouse! )

We had a better night last night. He went down at 7.30pm, was up at 2am for a feed, then 6am for a feed, and up for the day at 8.15am. (Then his big brother played with him in his room for a bit so I had 20 mins extra snoozing time :T). I can live with that.

Welshlassie

I was the same before i got pg, absolutely loved my bed and sleep. Now function on so little sleep it didn't think it would be possible.
We also had a great night last night as he slept through again. Looks like Monday night might not have been a one off. Think we have worked out what we did differently so will hope we can all keep it up. Fingers crossed you get there soon to.

Cullumpster

My little boy is 19 mths and still doesn't sleep which is a nightmare.
He has a nap in the morning, he's asleep at the moment and a sleep in the afternoon, sometimes not though but it makes no difference he still wakes up !!

He wakes up now at 12'o clock and 3.30 am and wants a bottle every time, have tried giving him water but he just throws it and screams.

Have tried leaving him to cry, sometimes it works but sometimes he won't stop and it is so frustrationg !