Return of the Girl Racer

GirlRacer_2

Thanks Wendy. I know I've made the right decision even if times can sometimes be hard with J. Once his property settlement is out of the way I'm sure he'll be back to the old J. He really upset me this morning and we ended the call and we weren't speaking. I stewed for a full 2 hours, went to Asda's, bought him some nicies to eat then drove the 25 miles to his work to give them to him. I hate being bad friends with anyone! I think he was a little surprised to see me but at least we're talking now.

As for the ex, he's the one I met on holiday last year. I was getting over J when we met and he seemed nice enough. I was with him for a little while and then J came back on the scene and the boyfriend didn't stand a chance!!! He did mess me around when we were together and spent the majority of his time at the pub and basically wasn't there for me when I needed him so I told him that I'd been given another opportunity with J and as the distance between us was problematic that I was going to give it a go. I must admit I thought that was the end of it!

When I next speak/text him I'm going to tell him I don't feel comfortable doing it and that I'm perfectly happy with my relationship and would he mind not texting me again. Thats the plan anyway.....

dizzy_lizzie

Hi GR...I would say to the ex that over the last few days your relationship with J has taken a new turn and things are now very serious and although you've enjoyed chatting with him you now want to concentrate on your relationship with J. And don't think it, do it!!!
Strange how now you're with J the ex has 'turned up' again!! Maybe he likes a challenge and if you did end it with J the ex would lose interest once he's 'won' you back!! No way do you want to get back with him. Let him spend his lonely days in the pub. It may be that he's realised what he gave up but...too late. It's not worth jeopordising your relationship for.
That sounds so sweet what you did today...just don't do it too often. Don't want him to think you're hanging on his every word now do you?
I think you're right and once this house business is behind him, well, the worlds your oyster.
Hope ebay picks up for you. I'm not doing too bad at the moment, touch wood, taps head. Ooh I must check my wednesday lottery ticket too. My winning £10 ticket from a few weeks ago never turned up. Probably under a pile of clutter somewhere!!
Good to see you more like your old self hun.
Luvz Dizzy x

GirlRacer_2

Thanks Diz, just look at the time I'm on here, early. Not saying I won't pop back to bed for an hour but at least I'm up which is a massive impeovement to last week. Got a busy day today,got the builder coming between 12 and 2 today to measure up. He's coming back on Monday to put a false ceiling in the bathroom and cover over the pipes. Not looking forward to having the work done because of the mess but it does desperately need to be done so I'll have to put up with it.

My christmas savings are in the bank today so I'm going to draw out the other girls savings and pop them up to her then save £250 worth of mine and spend the other £200 on presents. I fancied a few things in TKMaxx last week so I'm going to pick DD up from school at 3 and we're going to pop up and buy some odds and ends. Will also pop into Matalan and buy some baskets to try and make up some hampers. Have decided to do one for my mum, one for my uncle and one for J. Will try them out on those 3 first this year and if they are a success then who knows what I'll do next year

Your right about the ex Diz, I was looking at photos of him last night and he does absolutely nothing for me. In fact DD said she'd leave me if I went back to him. Kids!!! SHe really likes J and she didn't like the ex and that is important. I didn't speak to him last night, he was on facebook but the minute I could see he was logged on I logged straight back off. Aren't I a coward?

Hey Diz, I made a start on writing the Christmas cards. Not a very good start I admit but I've done 10 out of 60. Will try and get another 20 of them done today and then I'm half way through! Am determinedto have a stress free Christma this year.

GirlRacer_2

Ooooohhhh have just had a call from work, the meeting with the mediators and the witch is at 2.00 on Tuesday. I'm feeling all anxious again!!!!!

mumzyof2

dont really know whats gone on but just wanted to say good luck for tuesday and hope you feel better soon (only read page 1)

GirlRacer_2

Thanks mumzyof2. Currently off work due to problems with another member of staff. I've decided that mediation is the route to take but I must now face her head on on Tuesday and tell her she's an absolute witch and makes the atmosphere in work dreadful

dizzy_lizzie

GirlRacer wrote: »

I must now face her head on on Tuesday and tell her she's an absolute witch and makes the atmosphere in work dreadful

Ah GR I can just imagine this happening and you saying those exact words!!! It's not just you though who she intimidates, so will she get to know that she has that effect on others too? Also easier said than done but put Tuesday out of your head now and be determined to enjoy your weekend. If you don't she's even impacting on your time at home and that should never happen. Don't let the witch do it hun!!!
Really pleased you're thinking about getting organised for Christmas. I've got a confession to make I haven't done my card list yet!!! But I will do it this evening and I will write out at least 10 cards too!!! And look at you, writing them out already. Ooh you put me to shame, you do
Hope you have a lovely shop this afternoon. I'm sure the hampers will be appreciated too.
Well done on resisting the ex. If you can't face telling him you're not interested anymore at least he should get the message if you don't contact him again.
Catch you later hun.
Luvz Dizzy x

RAS

Hi

Are you allowed to take a friend/supporter? In our scheme this is almost expected?

Also, was landed in a similiar situation, as a manager, when my boss was off and had mishandled a staffing problem. The fact that you are actively participating and co-operating with the mediation scheme will stand you in very good stead with your employers.

It may help, if you have not already done so, to list specific instances that were witnessed by other people, particularly those who gave you a hug when you went in this week. Try to remember who was there so that you can use this to re-inforce your case.

GirlRacer_2

Thanks RAS. I've never gone through this process before and it terrifies me. This girl has made my life hell (not just my life but others as well but they haven't/won't speak up). My boss has been fully aware of the problem for about 18 months and has done nothing about it. It came to a head a few weeks ago when I just could not go into work. I'm feeling much better now (I must admit) but I'm making a stand. I know that she's really going to go to town with me on TUesday but I'm hoping that the mediators won't let it get out of hand. I absolutely hate confrontation so it's take a lot of guts for me to go this far.

The other girl in the office who also complained had a confrontation with this lady in the toilets, very professional!!!

Well Diz, I've been to Matalan and bought a lovely basket ready for J's hamper. Went to Boots and bought loads of 3 for 2 stuff to go in it, lots of smellies, shaving foam and lots of things he likes. Also got some designer socks and a belt to pop in there along with a Dennis the Menace towel and hot water bottle. Am hoping it's going to look good!

Keeping_Positive

The hampers particularly J's sound great GR. Good luck with Tuesday. When you are feeling strong like Ras says do some prep and write down specific cases and those who witnessed.