Return of the Girl Racer

GirlRacer_2

GirlRacer wrote: »

Have done nearly all the housework so I'mjust going to make a list of the things I need to do this afternoon and evening.

[strike]Peg more washing out [/strike]
[strike]Put more washing in [/strike]
Wash living room floor
Put shoes away (they are everywhere)
[strike]
Pop to Asda
[/strike]Write Christmas card list

Doesn't look too much does it. I'll tick the jobs off as I do them.

Have made a start sonot doing too badly

GirlRacer_2

Monday morning again. Not really feeling in the mood to do very much but I have made the beds and put some washing in the machine. Have got to pop out this afternoon and order some stuff for the building man whose coming next Monday. I'm having a false ceiling put in my bathroom and having the pipes re-boxed in.

Also go to post a parcel (only a CD I sold on Amazon for 1p so not going to make any big money there! WHilst I'm in the post office I'm going to pick up a withdrawal form as 2 of us in the savings club are having our savings out this month to start on the Christmas shopping.

J mentioned this morning about booking some time off work but I've not mentioned going away again as at the moment I just want to be on my own. I wish I could just snap out of this, I'f give anything to be able to feel more positive about everything. I spent the weekend with him and came home last night and cried like a baby. It's nothing he's done I just feel insecure about myself.....

GirlRacer_2

Good morning all, feeling slightly better today than I was yesterday. Don't feel quite so tearful. I just hope that I'm going to start to feel better now and not have any more down days. Even managed to get out of bed earlier today and don't feel quite so sluggish.

No money news, have really let things slide the last few weeks so hopefully if the tablets have started to kick in I can start focusing again.

Sent off for my christmas savings yesterday so hopefully once I get those I can think about going into town and doing some christmas shopping. Have decided to go on my own as I tend to get more done that way. Have already written a list of everything I want to get and if I can get everything on the list I'll only have the kids main presents left come December.

In my mind it's all planned out. Pity real life wasn't the same

GirlRacer_2

I've been trying to reclaim some charges off my sisters credit card. It only amounts to £72.00 but GE money have sent back the usual 'no' letter. Her balance is only about £270 so if we could ge the charges back it would be a big dent in what she owes. ANyway, I've sent off letter number 2 in the hope that they give in and refund them.

Still not received anything from British Gas with regards to my complaint. Why don't people respond quickly enough for me. I hate this waiting game:)

GirlRacer_2

Have got a little time before I go into work for my first mediation session and I'm absolutely in a state. I don't know what to expect, I'm shaking like a leaf and I can't eat anything. How on earth have I got to this?

Couldn't believe it last night, was on facebook and my ex boyfriend decided he wanted to chat. Not heard from him in 10 months and didn't think for one minute that we would ever speak again as he's the other side of the country to me. He was filled with regrets, which didn't help me at all as I've been in one of those moods all week where I don't know what I want in life.

Ended up not sleeping well last night and when I did I was constantly dreaming. Needless to say the last thing I want to do today is go for mediation!

No news on the money front. Had a sale on Amazon but that only amounted to a profit of £1.63 so I won't be retiring this week. Will pop back on here later and let you know how I got on.

Keeping_Positive

Hope the mediation went ok GR

GirlRacer_2

Thanks Wendy, it was OK, got myself into a right state before I went in but found that it really helped getting it off my chest. Even managed the session without crying!

Popped into see my boss then and handed him my sicknote, don't think he was very pleased but that's just tough. It was great seeing all my work colleagues again, quite a few of them hugged me and offered me support which was very positive. I've agreed that next Wednesday I go again and this time she'll be present and we can discuss the issues in front of the mediators. It's not something I'm looking forward to doing but it's got to be done.

My head is absolutely pounding now, I was so strung up prior to the meeting. I did tell the mediator that I was disappointed that management knew my concerns a long long time before my sick leave and did nothing to rectify the problem. I also spoke to my boss about redeployment, it's not a road I want to go down but I just want him to think how serious I am about this issue!

dizzy_lizzie

Hi GR. I'm so pleased you got through today. It should get easier from now on hopefully. I bet it felt good to get that support from your colleagues too.
I think you'll start to feel better about it all now you know that things are moving in a more positive direction.
Well done hun. I knew you could do it
Luvz Dizzy x

GirlRacer_2

Thanks for the support Wendy and Diz, it felt good knowing that I got through the meeting without shedding a tear. I wish you could have seen me in the car park before though, I was on the phone to J a jibbering wreck. He managedto talk me down and told me that I'm not going in there to be shot just to talk to 2 people who were prepared to help get the situation sorted.

I've been having some messages from the ex again and he's really playing with my mind. I admit I'm vulnerable at the moment and even though J has always been the great love of my life and still is, I'm liking the attention off the ex. Is that wrong? He's saying all the right things to me and even though I know the relationship can't work as he lives too far away I must admit it has crossed my mind. Was in a real turmoil this morning as I had a disagreement with J on the phone and it made me wonder what to do. I've just driven 25 miles with a packed lunch for J just so I can see him. How pathetic is that? It has however made me come to my senses. When I got to J's work he was in the middle of painting (don't ask) and he smeared my nose with bright green paint and give me a little wink and all at once I knew who I wanted to be with. So the question is how can I tell the ex to stop textin me? I'm far too polite to tell him to go away as I don't like to hurt people's feelings. He already knows I'm in a relationship and he knows how I feel about J as I'd told him all about J when we were together so what do I do? Answers on a postcard please.

As for money, no news today, still not received a reply from British Gas. I'm hoping for a megga cheque in compensation from them, not that I think for one minute it's going to happen but a girl can dream and I've not had any big sales on e-bay.

Keeping_Positive

(((hugs))) GR I think you have made the right decision about J. Ref the ex if you dont want to say outright then dont return calls/texts/emails and hopefuly he will get the message. He has played mind games in the past hasnt he so dont let him start again. He is an ex for a reason and J sounds lovely.