Not sure what to do

peachyprice

svain wrote: »

Being selfish once a week is not a bad trait in my book. Getting the balance right is key though

There are plenty of other ways he could be selfish rather than taking drugs in his family home. There is no balance to be had there, at some point it will impact on the child, either in the taking of the drugs or the hiding the fact.

svain

peachyprice wrote: »

There are plenty of other ways he could be selfish rather than taking drugs in his family home. There is no balance to be had there, at some point it will impact on the child, either in the taking of the drugs or the hiding the fact.

I wasn't referring to the drug use ... I was generalising in response to another poster

BrassicWoman

each to their own but I would DTMFA

Tigsteroonie

FBaby wrote: »

What normal Friday family life? My OH likes to watch a particular programme on the main TV in the living room on Friday so I find myself usually here, or watching TV in our bedroom. Should I dump him for depriving me of time together once a week?

Marley and I rarely spend a Friday night together He goes to visit his brother, they watch horror movies and play games until the ungodly hours. It's his escape from being the SAHP. In turn, I get to have a takeaway and the soaps, starfish in a double bed all to myself, and then have our son to myself on Saturday morning to enjoy being Mum.

Being selfish once a week works for us :T :T

Caz3121

mummyto_1 wrote: »

plus the trust deed we set up when we bought the house states that ownership is 70% me 30% his

mummyto_1 wrote: »

I might be getting ahead of myself here but if I did have to sell the house, at its current value and after paying off the mortgage outstanding I'd get around £180,000

And he'd get approx. £15,000

the numbers look odd...If £180k is 70% of the equity then would he not be receiving £77k? this would mean a total equity of £257k
If total equity is £195k (180+15) then you are currently calculating 92% to you and 8% to him rather than splitting the £195k 70/30, £136.5k/£58.5k..may be key to your calculations

bluebear36

spadoosh wrote: »

Maybe. But then you'd have to rule out that people are responsible drinkers. If you do fair enough if not I can easily argue hypocrisy.


I've been thinking about this thread all night.

I thought id summarise what I see.

Morally questionable behaviour from the ops side:

Threatening to take a child away from their dad
Threatening to take someone's house from them
Ridiculing your husband
Controlling behaviour

Morally questionable behaviour from the ops husband:

Takes cocaine on a friday night
Has a child?

But the dad is the bad guy here? O and what do people think will have more of a detrimental behaviour on a child? A broken home or a recreational drug user who in all likelihood will do everything in his power to shelter the son from seeing anything? And then what do people think will lead this guy to using more cocaine? His wife taking his child and house from him? Or maintaining the status quo.

There's a lot of blinkers in this thread. Ok saying leave etc but you can't possibly know the consequences of that.


As for the comments about keeping cocaine in a house with a 3 year old I'm assuming those people don't keep bleach in their house, don't keep dogs, knives, medication and alcohol? Well it's irresponsible if you do and have children isn't it? They all have the ability to and have killed considerably more children than those killed by cocaine (I'm guessing here)

It's her partner, not her husband, and I'm guessing you're a cocaine user by your defence of this junkie. If the OP isn't happy with his actions then she is perfectly entitled to leave him. As they aren't married they each get what they put into the house; she isn't "taking" it away from him. And no court will award custody to someone who takes cocaine, recreationally or not.

FBaby

Maybe he's take his drug in the living room after his child is asleep because he doesn't want his child to see it and will do it at another time in another place when he is older.

bluebear36

BrassicWoman wrote: »

each to their own but I would DTMFA

So would I.

Poor_Single_lady

Do you know where we gets it from. Because thaf is a world you do not want to involved in at all.

I would ask him to give up. But it's not that simple is it. Do you think he might want to give up but not sure how. Could you afford some rehab or something similar.

Pixie5740

If his cocaine use is an issue for you why did you choose to have a child with him 3 years ago? Why start a relationship 6 years ago with a cocaine user? Maybe you have drifted apart and the relationship isn't working but I don't think it's the cocaine use that's the issue for you.

As for those calling him and addict and a junkie that's ridiculous. He is an occasional user of a drug, albeit and illegal one. I have a glass of wine or two at the weekend and that doesn't make me an alcoholic or an alcohol junkie just an occasional drug user.