Non-funeral funeral

Yorkshireman99

esuhl wrote: »

In that case, if the brother was the executor, it wouldn't matter that the body in the example above was buried against the (rest of the) family's wishes.

But peachyprice disagrees with you, suggesting that the feelings of the family are important. :-/



Imagine if the deceased was a staunch atheist who wanted his ashes to be scattered in his back garden (for no particular reason), yet everyone else in his family was a member of a religious sect that believed that the body must be buried in order to be resurrected in Utopia. How would it make the family feel if they had to (in their mind) condemn the deceased to eternal damnation?

Is it more important to grant one wish to someone who no longer exists and to whom granting that wish will make no difference... or to grant many wishes to a whole family of the living, who will be far less traumatised if those wishes are granted...?

PP has not understood that it strictly a legal issue rather than a philosophical one. The executor is legally obliged to carry out the deceased’s wishes in an un-biased way. They don’t have any discretion in the matter. Neither do the relatives have any rights to decide. The only exception would be if the will required the executor to do something illegal. If a person really want to be sure their wishes are adhered to they need to make arrangements in advance so that the executor is aware and that the will is available when needed.

badmemory

The funeral directors can been given any instructions (providing they are legal). For instance mine have instructions to tell my son he does not need to attend. This is not due to a lack of love from either side, but due to my concern for his health & wellbeing. I suspect he will go if my younger sister is still alive & fit enough but will not otherwise.

scd3scd4

For crying out loud are people really suggesting doing the opposite with a persons body who made a personal choice and expressed their wishes when alive?

scd3scd4

esuhl wrote: »

But why would the dead person's wishes take precedence over everyone else's feelings when it makes no difference to them whatsoever?

I can understand how the living might have superstitious preferences that might make them happier with a burial or cremation, or whatever. I don't know how you'd settle the different beliefs amongst all the family-members and loved-ones. But they're the ones who have to live with the decision as to what is to be done with the body; not the dead person.

When each of my parents died, we had a simple ceremony, and a big party afterwards, where we passed around photos, played their favourite music, everyone brought food, and we talked about all the good times. That kind of celebration of life has to be more important than the inconsequential matter of what to do with a corpse.

No, that's what was important to you or your parents. Why are you telling strangers how they should live or die.


So by default then its ok to give your body to research or organ donation when you die. Regardless of what you may have wanted.

Keep_pedalling

scd3scd4 wrote: »

No, that's what was important to you or your parents. Why are you telling strangers how they should live or die.


So by default then its ok to give your body to research or organ donation when you die. Regardless of what you may have wanted.

The only change I would be concerned about is if my family refused organ donation, despite being a registered donor. This wont happen in my case as the whole family feel the same, but it does happen and I think relatives should get no say in the matter, and should not even be consulted in the matter.

scd3scd4

Keep_pedalling wrote: »

The only change I would be concerned about is if my family refused organ donation, despite being a registered donor. This wont happen in my case as the whole family feel the same, but it does happen and I think relatives should get no say in the matter, and should not even be consulted in the matter.

Ok.............so you want to donate but I overturn it once you die because I don't agree or like it. The scenario changes but the disrespect doesn't.




I assume some see no problem with burying a person in the same grave as someone who while living asked and wished not to. Or maybe the asked and left money to be send abroad to their own country............why bother. Keep the money and go on holiday with it or spend it up the boozer.

Red-Squirrel_2

sheramber wrote: »

My FIL wanted his body donated to medical science and notified his doctor of this.

My MIL told him as she would be making the arrangements after he died it would be her decision and she would not do it.

She died 5 years before him and he got his wish.

My grandfather has signed forms for his body to go to the local medical school if they have room for it when he dies/its in the right condition etc.

Every time they have a row my grandmother threatens to take him there early.

Keep_pedalling

scd3scd4 wrote: »

Ok.............so you want to donate but I overturn it once you die because I don't agree or like it. The scenario changes but the disrespect doesn't.




I assume some see no problem with burying a person in the same grave as someone who while living asked and wished not to. Or maybe the asked and left money to be send abroad to their own country............why bother. Keep the money and go on holiday with it or spend it up the boozer.

I was talking personally, I don't really care what happens to my remains, with the exception of any usable parts that can help someone else. Overruling that wish affects the living and that should not be allowed.

scd3scd4

Keep_pedalling wrote: »

I was talking personally, I don't really care what happens to my remains, with the exception of any usable parts that can help someone else. Overruling that wish affects the living and that should not be allowed.

I understand you don't, I was addressing them that do. And just used a couple of examples.


You don't loss all your rights just because you have died.


Its taken as read if you don't care then it don't matter.

Malthusian

esuhl wrote: »

Imagine if the deceased was a staunch atheist who wanted his ashes to be scattered in his back garden (for no particular reason), yet everyone else in his family was a member of a religious sect that believed that the body must be buried in order to be resurrected in Utopia. How would it make the family feel if they had to (in their mind) condemn the deceased to eternal damnation?

As the deceased is condemned to eternal damnation anyway by virtue of being an atheist, regardless of how he is disposed of, they can feel whatever they feel like feeling.