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can 'space' really help?
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thanks JoJo well she has been of the chemo for a while it was just a hit it course to get it under control. but I do understand how these things can bring you down and was there to support and help when I could even if it was just vacuuming her house for her etc
although the going to bed when the kids have gone to sleep isn't what she does. trying not to to be creepy and stalkery but as in Facebook messenger at the top there is a list of people online at the time. so I see her online all of the time. such as last night when I was chatting to my best mate who had messaged me to see how I was after the carnival. I could see my girlfriend was also online chatting to someone at past midnight which has been similar all week this week. so it's not as if she can't be bothered to talk. just doesn't want to talk to me.
anyways I messaged about the job. so hopefully she knows I am thinking of her. I am just going to have to wait for her to contact me now. although I do feel as if this is the end and this space is just her trying to lessen the blow but I can't stop hoping which just seems to bring me pain. blooming stupid emotions!!!
If I or the OH leave a window open on FB, it looks as though we're online all the time, even if we're not even in the same town as the laptop or a phone has been left with it running and put back in a bag/pocket/on the side. There's no way of seeing that you're messaging other people, just that the site/app is running.
From the OH's perspective, he says he knew his last relationship was ending because his future ex disappeared from FB - she'd blocked him (although they were living together, so had a serious relationship rather than an every other week visit). You've not been blocked - you genuinely could be (quite reasonably in the circumstances) overthinking this part.
Doing the vacuuming is great, but I can't emphasise enough how even needing to interact with somebody you care deeply for can be too much to handle at times.I could dream to wide extremes, I could do or die: I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.Yup you are officially Rock n Roll
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That was a very insightful description of how you feel you cope and how you perceive others seeing you. We are often always guilty of thinking our own way of dealing with issues is the best way, or indeed the only way so seeing this from another person’s perspective is very helpful. We can probably all learn something from it when dealing with somebody who has a completely different introvert/extrovert personality from our own.
this 1000 times over and it is the reason I posted this thread in the first place as I know my perspective isn't always right for everyone and wanted to know if space really could help.
however putting a little bit more out there in response to poor single lady's post. I am not a extrovert as such. I have a VERY small friendship circle. HOWEVER once in my circle I am very open with them. as I do find talking things over is usually the biggest help. I just find it so very hard to trust people enough to let them in. and don't go out much. my girlfriend is similar in that way. but she likes to go out much more and is more open and chatty with people she doesn't know or hardly knows.
JoJo yes I could and might be over thinking things. but I have been seeing her come on and off of it throughout the day. so I don't think it's just leaving the app open in the back ground.
anyways just been to the gym for the first time in 15 years haha oh my I'm so unfit and really going to feel it tomorrow. but I actually feel more myself than I have in a while so i will be going back Tuesday. def a good idea to have gone todayDrop a brand challenge
on a £100 shop you might on average get 70 items save
10p per product = £7 a week ~ £28 a month
20p per product = £14 a week ~ £56 a month
30p per product = £21 a week ~ £84 a month (or in other words one weeks shoping at the new price)0 -
Not wishing to be argumentative but I think possibly my post is more valid than you think. There is a bit more to personality types than how social a person is.
For example I think one of your posts said about you being on the phone for 2 hours after being at work all day. A classic introvert would struggle with this and would feel trapped
Ice skating is generally an extrovert activity particularly after being at work all day.
Your general statements about talking problems through is leaning towards extrovert and the theme of your post in struggling to cope with her requirement for space is heavily extrovert.
I am introvert and have loads of friends and generally go out 3 times a week, it's not about being antisocial, it's about doing what makes you feel comfortable and doesn't drain your energy.
And just really not to be annoying but introverts use Facebook sometimes but we hate being tracked. Sometimes I'm online and I get a text from someone who knows I'm online and I feel like I am being squeezed and like I cant do anything without someone tracking me so please don't question her about her Facebook usage and don't text her when you can see she is online.
I'm not trying to be argumentative at all and I hope it doesn't sound like that.2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.
2018 plans - reduce debt0 -
Oh Facebook is the curse of the modern age in many ways. How many times do we see distressed posts about what people have seen their partners saying or doing. If absence makes the heart grow fonder I,m convinced that ignorance is bliss. Instead much of the time it just provides another instrument for emotional torture by fanning the flames of anxiety and uncertainty when relationships are going wrong. People rush to it for reassurance and often find they’re clinging to a life raft with a hole in the base.0
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Poor_Single_lady wrote: »Not wishing to be argumentative but I think possibly my post is more valid than you think. There is a bit more to personality types than how social a person is.
For example I think one of your posts said about you being on the phone for 2 hours after being at work all day. A classic introvert would struggle with this and would feel trapped
Ice skating is generally an extrovert activity particularly after being at work all day.
Your general statements about talking problems through is leaning towards extrovert and the theme of your post in struggling to cope with her requirement for space is heavily extrovert.
I am introvert and have loads of friends and generally go out 3 times a week, it's not about being antisocial, it's about doing what makes you feel comfortable and doesn't drain your energy.
And just really not to be annoying but introverts use Facebook sometimes but we hate being tracked. Sometimes I'm online and I get a text from someone who knows I'm online and I feel like I am being squeezed and like I cant do anything without someone tracking me so please don't question her about her Facebook usage and don't text her when you can see she is online.
I'm not trying to be argumentative at all and I hope it doesn't sound like that.
honestly do not stress I do appreciate your insights as it is not something I have personally and as stated I don't think I am a extrovert AS SUCH but also know I am not a introvert as (please excuse the lack of tact but I don't know how to word this better) I do not believe I go to extremes with these things although of course that is from my perspective so could be totally wrong
oh and I most certainly will not be raising the Facebook thing with her. and I will not be messaging her until she messages me firstDrop a brand challenge
on a £100 shop you might on average get 70 items save
10p per product = £7 a week ~ £28 a month
20p per product = £14 a week ~ £56 a month
30p per product = £21 a week ~ £84 a month (or in other words one weeks shoping at the new price)0 -
Oh Facebook is the curse of the modern age in many ways. How many times do we see distressed posts about what people have seen their partners saying or doing. If absence makes the heart grow fonder I,m convinced that ignorance is bliss. Instead much of the time it just provides another instrument for emotional torture by fanning the flames of anxiety and uncertainty when relationships are going wrong. People rush to it for reassurance and often find they’re to a life raft with a hole in the base.
that I understand although I try not to use it. unfortunately most of my friends use the messenger app to keep in contact so unless I block her. which I think is a massive over reaction. then I am going to carry on seeing when she is online which of course does sting a little knowing I CANT contact herDrop a brand challenge
on a £100 shop you might on average get 70 items save
10p per product = £7 a week ~ £28 a month
20p per product = £14 a week ~ £56 a month
30p per product = £21 a week ~ £84 a month (or in other words one weeks shoping at the new price)0 -
that I understand although I try not to use it. unfortunately most of my friends use the messenger app to keep in contact so unless I block her. which I think is a massive over reaction. then I am going to carry on seeing when she is online which of course does sting a little knowing I CANT contact her
You could just turn off chat, even just for her, then you wouldn't see it.Do you not know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken?
― Sir Terry Pratchett, 1948-20150 -
Angry_Bear wrote: »You could just turn off chat, even just for her, then you wouldn't see it.
don't know how to turn it off for just one person. but one step ahead. I have decided and told t the friends I want to talk to that I'm coming off chat for a few days. so they can just normal text message me. I know talk abou old school haha
I tell you something though going to the gym has really helped. don't know why but I do feel so much better in myself today after having gone. just feel more calm and myself againDrop a brand challenge
on a £100 shop you might on average get 70 items save
10p per product = £7 a week ~ £28 a month
20p per product = £14 a week ~ £56 a month
30p per product = £21 a week ~ £84 a month (or in other words one weeks shoping at the new price)0 -
Exercise is an excellent way of dealing with stress.0
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Your post seems less "does space help" and more "giving someone space is annoying"2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.
2018 plans - reduce debt0
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