board issues

pearl123

I'd just charge her £40-£50 a week. If she protested I'd suggest she found somewhere else that was as cheap!

maman

barbiedoll wrote: »

Well, perhaps OP can't actually afford to support a free-loading adult any longer? Perhaps she wants to overpay her mortgage, for a house that her daughter will eventually expect to inherit, no doubt? Maybe she wants to cut down her working hours after years of working and bringing up children?

It's all very well, being preachy about "taking money" from your offspring, if you're wealthy enough for it not to be a problem for you. Why shouldn't adult children contribute to their home expenses? My house is my "home" too, but I still have to pay the bills.

If they want a fridge full of food, laundry services, superfast broadband and full central heating at all hours, they should help to pay for it!

I'm sorry you think I'm being preachy. I was putting my point of view which is shared by many.

You can't know whether OP can afford it or not. We've asked the questions. Until we have answers we can only offer uninformed opinions just as you have.

takman

I answered this question in another thread so thought my reply would still be relevant here:

takman wrote: »

These threads have been done to death and always get the same types of responses again and again:

1. The "Pick a number out of thin air" response where someone specify's an amount they think is fair with no justification whatsoever - I think this is a poor way of doing it because you have no way of knowing how much this covers in relation to the actual bills/increase in bills based on the OP's circumstances.

2. The "Percentage of their wages response" which is usually suggested as a fairly high amount of around 25% - 33% - again this doesn't take into account of actual bills and at these percentages is likely to result in a profit for the parents.

3. The "Split bills by number of adults in household" or "Pay the extra costs" response - These are one of the most fair ways of doing it because you actually know exactly what they are covering and also shows your on top of your household budgeting which you can explain to your kids.

4. The "Don't charge them anything" response - With this one at least your not charging an arbitrary amount and if your well off and don't want to charge then there is nothing wrong with that. But this obviously doesn't apply to a lot of households and most people asking what they should charge are likely not looking for this answer.

5. The "Save some/all of the money they pay and give back for a house" response - This is one of the silliest ways to do it in my opinion. Whats the point in secretly saving money for them they aren't little children. If you don't want the money then teach them the importance of saving themselves and how to get the best interest rates. Secretly saving just shows you don't trust your children to handle money correctly and then you get the slightly twisted scenario at the end where you give them back all THEIR money and expect them to be grateful for it.


The most popular justification for them paying at least some money is that it teaches them some kind of lesson about living in the "real" world and teaches them they must pay bills. Now i can understand this to an extent but this is only relevant if you actually go through the household finances with them and explain what a house costs each month and what bills need to be paid. By the time they are 18 and out working they should understand this already. But them simply paying an amount each month is not teaching them anything useful.

Some people also talk about having a "shock" when moving out at the cost of living this definitely shows they didn't prepare properly before they moved out. The most valuable lesson that a parent can teach their children about money is how to budget properly. If your children know how to budget and plan ahead then they will never be "shocked" at the costs when moving out.

maman

It's a useful post takman. I agree with most of what you've written but we'll only know which, if any, applies to this situation when (and if) OP chooses to tell us why she wants 'board' from her DD.

butterflies56

I think £250 a month is a very fair amount for someone on £21000. I would not reduce the amount and if she does not pay then show her some other options...like finding her own place or houseshare.

JWM

maman wrote: »

It's a useful post takman. I agree with most of what you've written but we'll only know which, if any, applies to this situation when (and if) OP chooses to tell us why she wants 'board' from her DD.

Because she's 23 years old, earns a decent wage and shouldn't expect to freeload off her parents anymore.


And yes I also think you are being 'preachy'. You choose to give your adult children a free ride in life, most responsible parents do not, and rightly so.


If she refuses to pay she can leave her parent's home and find something herself. Cheeky madam!

fairy_lights

svain wrote: »

Is there a reason you want £250 ,,, is it because you need the money?

Forget all the "its a bargain" crowd. What does it actually cost extra to have your daughter at home??. I dont think it will cost £60-£70 a week extra.

Maybe OP needs the money, maybe she doesn't. Maybe the extra money goes towards her holiday fund to help compensate for the fact that her adult child hasn't left home and she can't host swingers parties like she had always planned.
Even if she doesn't 'need' the money I still don't think it's unreasonable to expect an adult to pay their way.

martinsurrey

svain wrote: »

Is there a reason you want £250 ,,, is it because you need the money?

Forget all the "its a bargain" crowd. What does it actually cost extra to have your daughter at home??. I dont think it will cost £60-£70 a week extra.

I would lower the amount you are charging and offer to include family meals, but if she wants extra food/treats/toiletries etc of her own then she has to fund herself. If she requests anything extra (ie Sky TV or broadband upgrade) then charge her the extra.

you are only looking at this from one side, reverse your comment to look at it from the side of the other ADULT in this situation, the daughter is not a child anymore!

"Is there a reason your daughter doesn't want to pay £250, is it because she needs the money?

Forget all the "its a rip off crowd". What does she SAVE by not moving out? I don't think £250 will even cover the rent, let alone the bills and food if she moves out.

I would increase the amount to be a reasonable assessment of a house share, she's an adult now and should be treated as such."

Guest101

ROSEPUNKY wrote: »

I have 23yr old daughter who we have supported throughout her degree at University even when was doing a bit of bank work. We always said when she started working she needed to pay board. Her starting salary will be 21,000 a year and being reasonable we asked her to start paying 250pcm. This is causing conflict as she thinks it is extortionate amount but I know it is not and she is refusing to pay board.

Then lock her out.


£250 is far too little and gives her no incite into value anyway

Out,_Vile_Jelly

As a student you don't pay Council Tax, and if you're in university accommodation for the duration of your studies (increasingly common these days); bills are included so you spend years having no idea of the actual cost of utilities, or how they are billed. Budgeting for clothes and booze is not the same thing as having a clear idea of unavoidable household costs.

Surely being a parent is a combination of providing security, and preparing offspring for the reality of the big bad world outside. Charging well below market rate for rent and bills in the family home seems a logical compromise in this situation.