board issues

ROSEPUNKY

I have 23yr old daughter who we have supported throughout her degree at University even when was doing a bit of bank work. We always said when she started working she needed to pay board. Her starting salary will be 21,000 a year and being reasonable we asked her to start paying 250pcm. This is causing conflict as she thinks it is extortionate amount but I know it is not and she is refusing to pay board.

silvercar

Very similar under long discussion here:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5706898

onomatopoeia99

Suggest she see what she what she can rent for £250/month.

Given her age, I'm very surprised she hasn't flown the nest long since.

Marvel1

There's the front door, enjoy and good luck.

Jenniefour

Unless you live in London or another ridiculously expensive area she's actually earning enough to get a flat/house share and be independent now.

Stick to your guns, for everything that's probably being provided just short of £58 a week is a very good deal. Plenty left over for social activities etc. and to pile up some hefty savings.

Fireflyaway

Does she say why she won't pay what you have asked? Does she need / want the money for something else or is she just trying to get out of having to pay anything?
I know this issue throws up some very varied opinions. My feeling is I won't be charging my daughter rent when she is older. Its her family home, I brought her into the world and she is welcome to stay however long she likes. Her being at home won't raise my outgoings by a lot and I'd rather know she is safe and living in a good standard of accommodation with company, adequate food etc.
If an adult child of 40 years were to be earning 80k and living at home and not contributing that would be taking the mick of course but a twenty something on 21k ?
So if this were me I wouldn't ask. However.... I would like to think my daughter might offer ( not that I'd accept, but more because I'd like her to be considerate).
What is your reason for asking? Do you need the money? Are you trying to teach her responsibility? Do you think she is taking you for granted?
Sit down and have a conversation to work out a plan.

maman

I agree with you fireflyaway . I have 2 grown up DDs now both with their own homes and I know they wouldn't be in that position if they hadn't lived at home and saved.

I suppose it's a bit different if OP is very short of money or perhaps paying extra council tax or the DD is profligate with heating or a fussy eater but in general I've never wanted my DDs to pay for anything. I didn't have them to make money from them.

peachyprice

I there with Fireflyaway and maman.

I have one 22 yo son still at home, (his twin moved last summer) I don't ask for money from him, for 2 main reasons. 1) he's rarely here, eats probably twice a month, all he 'costs' is a daily shower or two and his laundry. 2) He works damn hard for his money and I want him to enjoy life to the full while he's young and free from commitments. The same will go for my daughter when she's of that age.

elsien

I'm of the ask her to pay persuasion.
Enjoying life is fine, but she can still do that on the money she's earning by and pay towards her keep. I don't think it does anyone any favours in learning to budget when you have no responsibilities at all. Better she learns now than when she hits the real world and gets a huge shock.
I was paying £40 quid a week 25 years ago on a part time wage, and still managed to travel the world on holiday.
What are her reasons for refusing to pay, what does she think is reasonable and why?
It's a bit different if she's buying all her own food etc to if she's still treating the place as a hotel.

peachyprice

elsien wrote: »

I'm of the ask her to pay persuasion.
Enjoying life is fine, but she can still do that on the money she's earning by and pay towards her keep. I don't think it does anyone any favours in learning to budget when you have no responsibilities at all. Better she learns now than when she hits the real world and gets a huge shock.
I was paying £40 quid a week 25 years ago on a part time wage, and still managed to travel the world on holiday.
What are her reasons for refusing to pay, what does she think is reasonable and why?
It's a bit different if she's buying all her own food etc to if she's still treating the place as a hotel.

You think paying 'rent' to parents is the only way people learn to budget?

My son budgets his savings, clothing, socialising, driving lessons, travel, food etc., and is as a result totally debt free with a good amount of savings behind him. Paying me 'rent' wouldn't make a blind bit of difference to his ability to budget, it would just mean he would have less savings. So what's the point if I don't need his money?

elsien

peachyprice wrote: »

You think paying 'rent' to parents is the only way people learn to budget?

My son budgets his savings, clothing, socialising, driving lessons, travel, food etc., and is as a result totally debt free with a good amount of savings behind him. Paying me 'rent' wouldn't make a blind bit of difference to his ability to budget, it would just mean he would have less savings. So what's the point if I don't need his money?

Which is why I said there's a difference between someone like your son who is organised and paying his own way, and those who have a sense of entitlement and would like bank of mum and dad to keep subsidising them.